Paddy Bakery Fined over Rodent Bread

Sheamus Murphy, an Irishman, got the shock of his life when he opened a loaf of bread and found a whole mouse inside.

North Bonkersford Magistrates Court heard how Murphy had purchased the Rodent ‘s Delight malt loaf from a Grotty Grocer supermarket in the Ballyvermin area for a Christmas party last year.

When he unwrapped the loaf he discovered the small lifeless, albeit well-baked, mammal embedded in the base of the bread where it had been trying – without success - to chew its way to freedom.

The magistrate fined the manufacturing company, Numpty Dumpty Bakers, £1,000 plus costs for placing food on the market that did not fully state the true ingredients.
The RSPCA charge that the mouse had suffered unduly before expiring was dropped when it was reported the mouse had eaten quite a hole into the base of the loaf and died smiling.

Chylamidia Mingerot, defence lawyer for Numpty Dumpty Bakers, told the court that the presence of the mouse was as much a shock to the company as to Mr. Murphy himself – as the loaf dropping into the tin must have been an equal shock to the mouse also.

She suggested said mouse might have been put in the tin deliberately by agents provocateur to "sabotage" the baker who has been in business for 60 years and has never had any complaints before – from customers or small furry rodents.

"In fairness to the defendant they have engaged pest control services who regularly inspect the premises and did so before this incident," she claimed.

Ms. Mingerot further informed the court that there were scores of mouse traps around the bakery and over one hundred ‘rodent motels’ – where the mice check in but never check out – which were freshly baited each day with – Rodent’s Delight malt loaf.

Staff regularly stamped on any mice, cockroaches or rats that get under their feet while working, and two full-time cleaners are employed at the bakery - who both work eight hours per day - sweeping up rat shit.

Oh well, it could have been worse for Mr. Murphy – if he had swallowed a couple of bites and then discovered ‘half a mouse’.