Thursday, 2 April 2009

Nuttyahoo tells O’Barmy : “Stop Iran – or I Will”

In an interview conducted shortly before he was sworn in today as Prime Warmonger of Israel, certified megalomaniac Binman Nuttyahoo laid down a challenge for US President Barack O’Barmy.

The American president, he said, must stop Iran from acquiring nuclear weapons—and quickly—or Israel’s psychotic and bellicose chauvinist military may be forced to use Iran’s peaceful nuclear reactor research as an excuse to bomb the shit out of them and kick-start World War Three.

“The Obama presidency has two great missions: convincing Americans he’s not Kenyan and preventing Iran from gaining nuclear weapons,” Nuttyahoo told the Mid-East correspondent for the Warmongers Gazette.

He said the Iranian nuclear challenge represents a “hinge of history” and added that “Western civilization” will have failed if Iran is allowed to develop nuclear weapons – much as it already did when the US supplied the illegal terrorist Israeli state with the materials and technology to develop thermonuclear devices in the 1960’s.

Applying his patent idiotic belligerent Zionist rhetorical logic, Nuttyahoo stated, “The world doesn’t want a messianic apocalyptic cult controlling atomic bombs. When the wide-eyed religious fanatic gets hold of the reins of power and the weapons of mass death, then the entire world should start worrying.”

Following a swift smack round the back of his head by his Mossad protocol advisor, he promptly pointed out it was Iran he was referring to and not Israel itself - or it’s fanatical anti-Arab Beiteinu party led by his rabid lunatic foreign minister Rabbi Avigdor Lieberman – who is currently as popular with Washington as a dose of galloping gonhorrhea.

Nuttyahoo - a bigoted Palestinian hater since his gung-ho numpty brother Yoni Nutyahoo got double-tapped by PFLP hijackers in Entebbe, Uganda in 1976 - stated that history teaches Jews that threats against their collective existence should be taken seriously, and, if possible, pre-empted, by annihilating any and all conceived enemies first.
“I am ready now to unleash Mossad’s ‘Kelev Shoteh’ – our prized rabid mad dogs – onto the forces of Iran.”

He went on, “Since the dawn of the nuclear age, we have not had a fanatic regime that might put its zealotry above its self-interest – apart from Israel. People say that they’ll behave like any other nuclear power. Can you take the risk? Can you assume that?"
"Just look at the United States – it developed the first nuclear weapons and immediately dropped two on Japan.”

In recent years, the Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has regularly called Israel “a bunch of Nazis” for their oppression of the Palestinian population and it’s democratically-elected Hamas government - whom Israel term as ‘Gaza Gangsters’.

The supreme Iranian leader, Ayatollah Khamenei, this month called Israel “False Flag Central” for instigating repeated attacks on allied nations to provoke them to force regime changes and join their Zionist New World Order anti-Islamic crusade in their on-going Sale of the Century illegal war land grabbing project across the greater Middle East.”

He further declaimed that “The tactics of the Israel lobby in the Zionist-controlled US plumb the depths of dishonour and indecency and include character assassination, selective misquotation, the wilful distortion of the record, the fabrication of falsehoods, and an utter disregard for the truth – all of which Israel are past masters at applying.”

Conversely Nuttyahoo told the Gullibility Gazette that Iran threatens many other countries apart from Israel, and so his mission is to convince the world of the broad danger posed by Iran by staging even more 9/11 style attacks against tall buildings and setting off micro-nukes in tourist resorts – then blaming it on the Iranians – or al Qaeda - and demonising Islam further until a face-to-face all-out Western Crusade versus Islamic Jihad leads to a nuclear Armageddon.

When asked to particularise and name the countries supposedly threatened by Iran with some modicum of verisimilitude Nuttyahoo blurted out “Antarctica for one – Arabs and Muslims hate penguins - and snow. Norway too – they hate Santa Claus and reindeers.”

The chairman of the US Joint Chiefs of Staff, Morton Numpty, recently warned Nuttyahoo that an Israeli attack on Iran’s nuclear facilities would undermine stability in the Middle East and endanger the lives of Americans in the Persian Gulf – even more so than the Americans themselves had done by illegally invading Afghanistan and Iraq, and causing the biggest military cluster fuck since their farcical misadventure in Vietnam.

Just after prime minister Nuttyahoo was taken away in a straight jacket by some nice young men in white coats for his afternoon medication, his chief security adviser Jingo Jesus Tallons told reporters that a nuclear Iran could mean the end of their plan to achieve a Greater Israel – stretching from the Nile to the Euphrates – and eventually to the Straits of Hormuz – and beyond.
“We have Iraq and Afghanistan – now all we need is that missing poxy bit in the middle –Iran.”

Stop press : Israel’s Nuttyahoo government declare Wallace and Gromit persona non-grata and label them Holohoax deniers and anti-Semites for supplying Iran with radioactive cheese for their nuclear powered rat traps.

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