Tuesday, 7 April 2009

North Korea Building Space Station

North Korea has defied international warnings and gone ahead with a controversial rocket launch to deliver thousands of lengths of bamboo to their orbital Ramen Noodle One space station construction site.

The state-run 'Big Brother Bonkers Broadcasting' station proudly announced North Korea had succeeded in putting the bamboo payload and two Kimchi-nauts into orbit after yesterday's 02:30 GMT launch.

There has been no independent confirmation so far, apart from the first stage booster section of a rocket bearing Korean marking falling from the sky into the midst of the Japanese ‘Happy Moby’ whaling fleet in the North Pacific, sinking four harpooning vessels.

North Korea's close neighbours (South Korea) suspect the launch was a cover and trial run for future ICBM launches when Dear Great Leader Kim Mah Jong goes totally squirly following one of his regular viewings of the apocalyptic World War Three movie ‘The Day After’ and decides to nuke Seoul, then Japan and the continental United States for a bit of a laugh.

They strongly condemned the launch, with the United States new off-brown President Barack Tele-Prompter getting on his high horse and warning Pyongyang to "refrain from further provocative actions – or else you’re the next on our ‘Axis of Evil’ invasion shit list.”

“North Korea is ignoring its international obligations, rejecting unequivocal calls for restraint, and further isolating itself from the New World Order by not doing what we tell it", President Tele-Prompter declared in a statement back in the freshly-renamed Washington DK (District of Kenya).

Uttering the same worn-out parrot-fashion rhetorical logic, Japan called the launch "extremely regrettable", while South Korea said it obviously constituted a clear breach of a United Nations resolution – which one they couldn’t remember.

UN Secretary General Bang Ka-Boom said North Korea's actions were not conducive to NAFTA stability or the price of coffee : a statement upheld and repeated by European Union member states and every other pro-Zionist New World Order toady, including Iceland.

China and Russia both called on the US and European powers to ‘shut the fuck up’ as their criticism of North Korea’s space programme, as per its nuclear weapons development, simply boiled down to the kettle calling the frying pan ‘black-arse’.

North Korea announced several weeks ago that it planned to launch two more Kimchi-nauts and a fresh load of bamboo to complete the first stage development of its Ramen Noodle One orbital space station.

A press release from Dear Great Leader Kim Mah Jong stated that as India had achieved a successful lunar probe shot and recently launched its orbiting Vindaloo One take-away, manned by a crew of Curry-nauts – they now wished to have their own geo-stationary low orbit space station to keep a close eye on what the US-controlled capitalist running dogs in Seoul were up to – and their sneaky Japanese neighbours also.

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