Pomposities for Ponderance

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Tories Delight in Eurozone Crisis

In a disgusting display of schadenfreude on Tueday, following a meeting at the Wilkins Micawber Institute for Economic Guessology, the Tory Chancellor Georgie Osborne - a silver-spoon Bullingdon Club brat who still thinks wood grows on trees - was giggling like a drunken teen slapper high on ecstasy that had just sexperienced her first three-hole gang bang - while confiding to a gutter press hack from the redtop tabloid Shylock’s Gazette that he was personally delighted with the eurozone debtocracy crisis and mega-bucks bail-outs – as someone else’s misfortune was good for Broken Britain’s economy.

Feasting on another’s star-crossed adversity is pathetic, especially so when this same Chancellor claims the Royal Bank of Scumland is getting its act together ‘bit by bit’ following the announcement it has posted an attributable loss of £2 billion quid over the last year - up from a loss of £1.1 billion in 2010 – and the fourth year of losses since the bank's £45:5 billion nicker bailout in 2008.

Notwithstanding these annual Biblical scale fuck-ups, the RBS still had the brazen audacity to pay out £785 million quid in ‘performance’ bonuses to it’s bean counters and casino addicted banksters for the 2010 period (no shit) under the statutes of Gordon ‘Incapability’ Brown’s 2008 Bankster Bailout Bill, later amended by the Tory-dominated Libservative Coalition to become the Bankster Bailout & Guaranteed Bonus Act 2010.

But times are hard and profits non-existent, so the Treasury, under the stewardship Chancellor Osborne, which now controls 82% lock, stock and barrel of the usurious gambling den, have imposed the same style of austerity measures on the RBS as suffered by the rest of Broken Britain – and slashed the 2011 bonus pot by half – down to a mere £390 million quid to be shared out by the derivatives speculators staffing the investment banking department – to supplement their meager £112,000 salaries.

No shit, if they get a £390 million performance bonus pool for this fuck up and losing £2 billion quid, one fears to hypothesise what a staggering £££ kitty they’d have to divvy up ‘if’ (and it’s a big IF) they ever make a profit.

Hmmm, Mr George Osborne indeed - and someone actually voted this moronic Mammon-worshipping dildo into political office?

No Win – No Fee: Let’s Sue God

If force majeure is defined as an act of God then can we not sue Him or the Trinity when shit goes wrong?

Okay, the Roman Catholic Church maintain God loves and watches over us – and all we have to do in return is get ourselves baptised, be good, say a prayer at bed-time and attend holy communion or mass now and again - hence such represents an admittance of responsibility for care.

So if Granny does her usual trick and falls head over tit downstairs after a few bottles of Meths Breezer and breaks a leg, then it’s God’s fault – and if He is so all-powerful, omnipotent and what have you, and was hence negligent in care, then He could even be culpable of common assault – or GBH – or second degree murder or manslaughter if the old bat snuffed it.

Okay God’s a hard Third Party to litigate against – but as the Vatican and Papacy are temporal entities then surely, with Joey Ratflinger, aka Pope Benny, the German built to last Mk XVI model, claiming to be the Vicar of Christ / God’s appointed representative on Earth – then we can sue him.
Why not – some ambulance-chasing scumbag ‘no win - no fee’ lawyer’s bound to take the case on.

7/7 Rehash for Olympics Anti-Terror Drill

A mocked-up terror attack on the London Underground is being staged as part of a massive exercise to test security for the 2012 Games.

The drill has been designed to test the emergency services response to a terrorist incident on the London Underground network during the Olympics with some 2,500 people – including every fucker and their dog - from the Met’s sadly depleted Plod Squad to Mayor Bonkers Boris Nonsense’s Poop Scoop Wardens to troops from the 21st Body Bag Regiment to Cobra, the slimy top level Government committee which sits during national scaremongering emergencies and black propaganda crisies - are being put through their paces by the two-day exercise.

Hopefully the government apply a touch of 20/20 hindsight and don’t contract Peter Power’s Visor Consultants to run the terror rehearsal operation this time around as per the 7th July 2005 – when things actually did start going ‘Ka-fucking-Boom!’ on the London transport network.

These acts were blamed on Mohammed al Patsy and his cohort stooges from the Leeds-based Ras al-Batshit Jolly Jihadist group – which involved them blowing the top off a double-decker with a ridiculous pantomime black pepper and peroxide bomb while the real MI5 / manky Mossad pre-planted false flag explosive devices – military grade Semtex - were simultaneously detonated by remote control radio signal ‘under’ the floors of the carriages of the three tube trains to murder, maim and injure a legion of British commuters and generate a wave of Islamophobia and public animosity towards Muslims.

Obviously anyone who got an attack of Oppositional Defiance Disorder Syndrome and started asking awkward questions as to why the suicide bombers turned up at Canary Wharf later that morning and got snuffed by an MI5 hit team themselves turned up dead in the David Kelley Memorial Woods.

Just one pause for thought – why focus on the Olympics fortnight and not the Diamond Jubilee – or even Wimbledon week – or the July sales at Piccadilly’s Pound Stretcher branch?
Why? Dead easy – cos that’s when the transparent fucks have the next false flag attack scheduled.

Gimme that Old Time Religion

Bringing home to the UK’s doorstep a touch of Mid-East ZioNazi racism, members of the London School of Economics ‘Israel Society’ took umbrage at the LSE Students Union ‘Palestinian Society’ protesters who erected mock IDF style checkpoints outside St Clements House on Houghton Street on Monday morning to demonstrate the dire conditions suffered by the marginalised and disaffected Palestinian population of the occupied West Bank.

Hence the launch of the Palestinian Society’s 8th Annual Israeli Apartheid Week and their Boycotts, Divestment and Sanctions campaign incited a parallel of what the IDF give the Palestinians – a most violent response with water bombs thrown – along with racist invectives, foreign language expletives – plus an array of fisticuffs and kicks.

The Palestinian Society’s Bev Titwank told one press hack from the Pound of Flesh Gazette that “Their actions were a disgrace and wholly unjustified as our demo’ was completely peaceful. Hence the violent actions of these ZioNazi apologists mirror those of the pariah state of Israel’s Defence Force – a threat to the well-being of our society members re-enacting the daily struggles of the oppressed Palestinian people.”

Conversely LSE Kikester-Power Union President Ms Jenny Cidal, speaking to a reporter from the Ethnic Cleansing Review outside the City’s Rothshite Bank of International Usury “We refuse to be intimidated by these grotty goyim with their mock checkpoints. They are the ones who should be censured – promoting anti-Semitism – and probably Holohoax denial too.”

Hmmm, let’s not start on the anti-Semitic myth – it’s anti-Zionist, pure and simple.
Israel and Palestine – what a fucking catastrophe now become. It’s doubtful that this was what God (Promised Land) – or Foreign Secretary Arthur Balfour (Balfour Declaration) – had in mind when allocating someone else’s sovereign property for usurpation by the Chosen People under the old 'manifest destiny' ruse.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.