Thursday, 16 February 2012

Iran Fingered for Payback Car Bombings

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Bobo Nuttyahoo, PM of the rogue state of Israeli, took time off from a hectic schedule of organising the theft of Palestine’s West Bank lands to announce for the public record that Iranian agents are to blame for the ‘terrorist’ bombings that have been staged in Georgia, India and Thailand against Israeli diplomatic missions and their personnel.

Ironically ignoring the fact that the outlaw apartheid state was founded via the route of terrorism, Nuttyahoo, an arch-Jobotinskyist with severe crediibility problems outside of his own ZioNazi sphere of influence, resorted to an anti-Islamic diatribe composed of his customary mix of chutzpah, hasbara and hudaibiya – informing one press hack from the False Flag Gazette that "Iran is behind these attacks – they are the biggest exporters of terror in the known Universe. We, a peace-loving nation, are the victims yet again - surrounded by anti-Semitic enemies and Holohoax deniers. We know the attacks are the work of Tehran’s Mad Mullahs and their global Jolly Jihad terrorist proxies – Al Qaeda, Hamas, Hezbollah, the Samaritans and the Salvation Army.”

In response, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadashell, following his speech to the Majlis Committee on National Security & Foreign Policy, told the Pound of Flesh Review “No so – this is the work of the Great Satan and Israel and their manky Mossad or the Sayeret Matkal. The Zionist regime is spearheading a psychological warfare campaign against our Islamic Republic to justify an armed attack and advance the Rothshite crime syndicate’s Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion global conquest agenda – what they have lately come to rename their insidious New World Order – and achieve total US / Israeli military hegemony over the region.”

“Now the Great Satan and their ZioNazi cohorts cannot halt our nuclear programme with their Stutnex virus, these scumbags would harm themselves, their own people – to make us look bad and point the finger of responsibility at our door – and so isolate us on the global stage as pariahs.”
“By this they would create some excuse to invade Iran and seize our oil fields and the Bushehr nuclear reactor now that it is capable of producing ten kilos of enriched kryptonite every month - which we will use to defeat Captain America and Superman and anyone else the Hollywood kikesters would send to do our nation harm.”

Conversely, Thailand's National Security Council chief, General Flip Flop Fong, yet another corrupt stooge on the Zionist payroll, informed media hacks that four people, all of whom look a bit Iranian-ish, are suspected of being connected to explosions in Bangkok – and have possible links to blasts targeting Israeli diplomats in India and Georgia.

Yeah, right – and here we must ask what’s the difference between the Thai Plod Squad and an organised crime syndicate? Absolutely none.

The incumbent Thai Prime Minister, Ms Yingyang Shitawaterrat, winner of Hustler’s 2011 ‘Tasty Political Totty’ competition, told a reporter from ‘Asian MILF’ magazine that two suspects were being held in the Thai capital while a third man was arrested in Malaysia – and a fourth female suspect remains at large.

Yingyang, sister of the political fugitive Foreskin Shitawaterrat - wanted in Thailand and sentenced in absentia on charges of graft and corruption (and being an all-round cunt) announced that one of the terrorists, Mohammed al Patsy, had admitted after a brief torture session to being Iranian – a fact confirmed by Israeli intelligence agents - even though he is unable to speak nor read Farsi and was travelling on cloned British passport – an old Mossad stooge favourite.

According to the Thai immigration chief Lt Gen Baboon Buttplug, the third suspect, Shaheed al Ka-Boom, managed to bribe his way through airport security and board a flight for Kuala Lumpur on Tuesday night.

Not wishing to miss out on a spot of self-promotion and media limelight, Georgian President Mikheil Sackashit also spoke to reporters by phone, confirming that the explosive device found attached to an Israeli diplomat’s car in Tbilisi earlier this week bore all the hallmarks of a Republican Guard bomb – specifically due the conspicuous fact it had a ‘Made in Iran’ label stuck to it.

Across in the Third World landfill site known as the Indian sub-continent, the only place on Earth – so far – to have maintained ‘apartheid’ at a level that South Africa, in it’s Boer heyday, could ever have dreamed of - Commissioner Wormhole Jaffacake, the police chief of smelly Delhi, commented that the bomb slapped onto the rear door of an Israeli embassy worker’s car by a motor cycle-borne pillion rider on Monday bore the classic fingerprint of the Israeli explosive devices mounted on a magnetic base which were stuck on the sides of Iranian nuclear scientists’ vehicles in the same manner by Mossad’s ‘9/11 Hi-Fiver Team’ agents – opining to the media that “Perhaps this is payback by the Iranians for the Israelis assassinating their boffins.”

(Hmmm, how coincidental that Mossad chief Tamir Pardo was in Delhi ‘on business’ the day before the bomb attack)

However, the gospel according to Western intelligence whistle-blowers claims that the propaganda stream targeting Iran besides, the truth behind the supposed anti-Israeli bombings bears the amateurish hallmarks of Mossad’s Kidon Meshuggenah false flag unit bunglers – with the terrorists exposing their operation when they accidentally blew up their own hideout last Tuesday afternoon.

Three small blasts occurred on Soi Fiasco 17 in the Ekamai area in central Bangkok at a house rented by the four suspects. Two men managed to escape the explosion that severely damaged the building but a third man who suffered minor injuries tried to hail a taxi. When the taxi refused to stop for him, in classic Keystone comedy style, he threw a bomb at it.
This pantomime debacle was followed by a third explosion when the same ‘pseudo-terrorist’ attempted to throw another bomb at the responding Plod Squad, but missed – with the device blasting off his own legs when it detonated.

Hmmm, why is the Bangkok incident so reminiscent of the anti-Muslim false flag bombing campaign in the southern Philippines, on Mindanao, when a US citizen, CIA black op’s agent provocateur / Paruosia International Trading rep’ Michael Meiring, while cobbling together a cluster of bombs from instructions in the ‘Big Bangs for Dummies’ handbook at the writing desk of Room 306 of Davao’s Evergreen Hotel on May 16th 2002, accidentally blew his own legs off.

These too were devices intended, when placed in a crowded cinema or market or Christian church, as per previous bombs, to be one more in a string of “Al Qaeda’ Moro terror attacks – staged to justify a tightened US-Philippine military alliance.

To restrict the fallout from this embarrassing situation the CIA staff at the US Embassy in Manila had Meiring on an emergency medical evacuation flight out of the country and back Stateside faster than shit through a Christmas goose.

Really, who the fuck trains these so-called saboteurs – these agent provocateur explosive ‘experts’? Amateurs-R-Us? Snafu's Anonymous? Fubar Mart? Wiley T. Coyote - or Captain Snort at Camberwick Green’s Pippin Fort?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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