Tuesday, 4 August 2009

Clinton Threatens UK With Intel’ Famine

Terrified by the prospects of British Law and Democracy actually working in accordance with the Constitutional statutes they were intended to when designed centuries ago - and the UK’s Freedom of Information Act being allowed by short-sighted career civil service Mandarins in Shitehall to be used to the advantage of landless peasants - the US Secretary of Sleaze Ms. Hilarious Rodent Clinton is reported to have physically threatened renta-wimp Foreign Secretary David Millipede with a ‘good kicking’ and the cutting off all future ‘US intelligence’ (sic) feedbacks to the UK.

The Rodent made her Mena Mafia-style 'threat' to Millipede over the Binbag Mohammed case inasmuch that SHE (read ‘America’) would cut off security co-operation and intelligence sharing with the UK if a British High Court sanctions the release of information about the former Guantanamo Bay detainee having various parts of his worthless Muslim anatomy either ripped out or cut off, beaten to a pulp – or crushed - while being interrogated by the US military intelligence’s nasty extreme rendition types.

Clinton, wife of ex-US President – Bill the Artful Draft Dodger - personally informed New Labour’s pathetic clown of a Foreign Secretary that the US government would enforce the dramatic step if a summary of the treatment of Binbag Mohammed is placed in the public domain and people find out what actually happens to Jolly Jihadist type personnel recruited by the CIA when they fall out of favour and end up as patsies on their terrorist shit list.

A High Court hearing was told that the move could cause "serious harm" to Britain's national security and potentially put the lives of British citizens at risk – especially so if the CIA take umbrage and decide to get Mossad to stage yet another set of 7/7/2005 false flag bomb attacks on London’s underground tube system and commuting public.

Ms. Fellatia van der Gobble QC, representing Mr Millipede, told senior judges that members of the Barky O'Barmy administration, including Hilarious Clinton, had made clear that intelligence sharing between the two countries would be ‘snuffed’ if the court went ahead with plans to publish the information.

The high level intervention follows a protracted legal wrangle over whether a seven-paragraph summary of Mr Mohammed's torture and inhuman treatment at the controversial US military holiday camp on Cuba, drafted for inclusion in a High Court judgment last year, could undermine national security if it were to be published – or simply embarrass the shit out of the Yanks.

Lord Justice Numpty and Mr Justice Dumpty reluctantly agreed to leave the passage out of the judgment in August 2008 because of evidence from Mr Millipede of a potential "threat" to cut off security co-operation if the classified evidence was made public and spread across the shitraking headline banners of the tabloid gutter press.

Mr Mohammed, 95, an unemployed Ethiopian cactus juggler, who was granted refugee status in Britain in 1994, was detained in Pakistan in 2002 on suspicion of riding a bicycle - without lights – in between double yellow lines and looking suspiciously ‘Muslim’ – and then subsequently "rendered" to Morocco for a water boarding vacation.

He alleges that he was tortured by his captors before being sent to Guantanamo Bay in 2004 for a five year stint of squatting in a sty with a sounder of pigs – while wearing a black bag over his head.

At the new High Court hearing in London on Wednesday, Sir Morton Fuctifino QC, representing Amnesty International and several other do-gooder whingeing charity organisations, argued that keeping the information secret simply to appease the US government’s sensibilities, would provide a ‘Get out of Jail Free’ card to the alleged perpetrators of human rights abuses – for past and future breaches.

Whereas, Sir Morton claims, the information should be published in entirety, paving the way for the prosecution of US - and UK -government and military personnel to be charged and tried for Crimes Against Humanity under the good old Nazi-bashing Nuremberg Statutes.

Sir Morton, interviewed by the media following the hearing, told the Inquisition Gazette that whatever the US government wished to hide concerning their breaches of the Geneva Convention’s statutes against the inhuman treatment of prisoners of war - and hapless innocent civilians - that torture by any other name – rendition or whatever - was still torture – and that our American cousins running Washington in recent years – post 9/11 - were really a very nasty set of bastards.

Conversely Sir John Seesaw, the newly-invested chief spook of MI6 told one reporter from the Double Agents Gazette - in confidence - that “We’re not too worried if the Rodent does pull the switch on US/UK intel’ sharing – we’re far better off without them really.”

“Their intelligence network is sadly lacking and more full of holes than an Irish colander. Don’t forget, these were the people who sat and watched 9/11 happen with their fingers up their proverbial arses while Israel’s Zim shipping company did a moonlight and got out of the WTC days before 9/11 and – coincidence – the WTC-based Israeli Odigo instant messaging company’s employees received texts two hours prior to the first 9/11 attack warning them to stay well clear of Ground Zero that day – and to start looking for another job.”

“Then we have Mossad Movers.com in hysterics - laughing and hi-fiving on top of their van – congratulating each other on the splendid job they’d just done killing all those poor people in the twin towers as they filmed them being pulverised with explosives and crashing to the ground.”

“Did US ‘intelligence’ pick any of this up? – not a sausage – unless they were complicit in the attacks, of course.”

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