Wednesday, 12 August 2009

Banksters and Loan Sharks Cop Flack

Chantelle McScrunt, a 16-year old mother-of-four, borrowed £5,000 from her local High Street loan sharks – Rothshites the Banksters - to pay for her kiddie’s pet goldfish Blinkie to have a heart transplant at a BUPA -approved Veterinarians Hospital - only to be told the following week she had to pay back £88,000 by flogging her golly on the streets every night - or have her arms and legs broken.

This and another court case involving debts of thousands spent on repaying a loan on monies borrowed to afford dentures for an ageing Pit Bull terrier have exposed the plight of some of Britain's poorest Sink or Swim council estate families in the recession.

More than 165,000 people are forced to use brand-name banksters and loan sharks in the UK, according to the latest figures just released by mistake under the Freedom of Information Act and, as the recession’s rabid fangs bite deeper still, with traditional lenders verging on insolvency yet again themselves and squeezing credit until it goes ‘ker-pop!’ like a frog in a microwave, that figure is thought to be on the rise.

Ronnie Rothshite, a pugilistic bare-knuckle career bankster from Shylock-on-Sea, lent one family £750 to pay for their Grannie’s A-levels course at night school - then forced them to pay back £50,000 over seven years – intimidating the family by ripping the ears off their 7-year old daughter Anastasia and nailing her pet guinea pig to the front door.

Mother-of-six Rita Muffitch, 18, suffered two strokes and a brain haemorrhage after being hit several times over the head with a claw hammer as a reminder to pay up on time – or else - according to a recorded training tape at her local Samaritans suicide assistance call centre.

Rita’s transgression of the bankster’s and loan shark’s unwritten code? – she was a day late paying up the weekly £20 interest on her £150 borrowed last December to buy a Pukesbury's 'Finest' festive season selection box of recreational drugs for her kiddies Christmas party.

Ruthless bankster ‘Nutty Natty’ Rothshite, 96, of Scrooge Square in London, made almost £3 million a month by charging crushing interest rates of up to 2,437%.
When he was arrested on charges of grand usury filed by the Office for Unfair Trading about 900 clients owed him £800,000 in outstanding loans.

The judge, Sir Isaac de Kike, described him as "a very naughty boy" and handed down a community service order of ten hours – to clean out his Grannie’s goldfish bowl every Sunday - suspended for two years.

Apparently Rothshite had set up Rip-Off Finance Ltd in 2006 by registering his company in Tel Aviv at his Uncle Jacob’s Bottom Feeders & Co. business address and falsely obtaining a licence from the Office of Unfair Trading.

The court heard Rothshite's profits of £28 million, made between 2006 and his arrest, had enabled him to pay cash for a £868,650 mock-Tudor seventeen-bedroom semi-detached castle, complete with turrets, dungeons, a moat and drawbridge – on the hillside of Smegmadale Heights.

Have you been a victim of kike shills or loan sharks? Have you ever heard of Mickey the Finn? What’s the going interest rate if you borrow a cup of sugar from your next door neighbour?

Send us your experiences using the online form below and you could win an interest-free boost to your dodgy credit rating.

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