Wednesday, 12 September 2012

RC Priest Blames Kids for Paedo’ Abuse

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A prominent Catholic priest, awaiting trial in New York on charges of covering up paedophilia offences committed by his retreat seminarians, yesterday informed one press hack from the Catamites Gazette at his Yonkers-based St Sodom’s Church for Latter Day Pederasts, that in his ‘qualified’ opinion it was the children themselves that were to blame for any acts of sexual abuse they incurred at the ‘hands’ (and other private bodily parts) of priests - and to add insult to injury, that clerics who were first time offenders shouldn’t be jailed for the simple crimes of grooming and fondling pretty soprano choir boys.

Father Benedict McBumbugger, founder of Franciscan Friars for Felching was described by parishioners and members of his congregation alike as a seedy character with a notorious reputation around Manhattan’s pet shops for buying hamsters and gerbils – and the occasional guinea pig - to succour his perverted sexual kinks – and had a habit of going off on supposed ‘spiritual retreats’ in the remote Hudson Highlands outback, from which he inevitably returned covered in bits of wool and smelling of wet sheep.

Viewed by many as an eccentric character, Fr McBumbugger, is no stranger to controversy since his April 2005 diatribe launched against anti-Catholic sentiments voiced by the US media for their distorted and biased negative coverage of Cardinal Joey Ratflinger, who had just been elected to the exalted papal office as Pope Benny, the German Mk XVI built-to-last model.

McBumbugger argued that the new pontiff had been badly abused by the American gutter press and kikester-controlled media – and that his World War Two biography was negatively distorted with accusations he was a concentration camp guard at Auschwitz who personally gassed millions of prisoners labelled by Hitler’s Nazi regime as ‘racial undesirables’ – then worked overtime stoking the crematoria furnaces – when in fact he was no more than a spotty-faced Hitler Youth member whose only participation in the Holohoax was lobbing the odd cobble through Shylock Scumberg’s pawn shop window in his hometown of Marktl, Bavaria.

The remarks made by McBumbugger regarding this fatally-flawed supposition that the sexually abused victims of priests are actually the seducers, was again repeated during his Sunday evening broadcast on the Eternal Lie Television Networks and is being construed by millions of viewers as the Roman Catholic Church coming up with a possible ‘not guilty’ / ‘get out of jail’ defence for its legions of kiddie fiddling perverted priests.

Fellattia Titwank, director of the child abuse sentinel charity Twat-Watch, interviewed on CNN’s Atheist Hour programme, expressed the moral outrage of the many and had this to say in condemnation of McBumbugger’s excuses.

“How can this guy even attempt to blame children for a priest’s salacious and criminal behaviour – claiming it only starts out as a romantic kiss or a cuddle – then the next thing some eleven year old choir boy’s got his tongue down a priest’s throat and tearing his shorts off and lubing up his sphincter with a handy tube of KY ready for you-know-what.”

“Then he tells us it’s not just Catholic priests who are guilty of this but teachers, attorneys, judges, social workers too – and ex-President Bush – the elder one – not that psycho moron Dubya – used to be butt-fucking orphaned and street kiddies in the Oval Office then have his Secret Service detail get rid of his victims – stuffed inside a North Face holdall with a couple of house bricks and tossed into the Potomac .”

“So, we’re obviously evolving from their past pathetic “the Devil made me do it” defence and coming up with this ridiculous “the kid’s a demon-possessed nymphomaniac catamite who seduced me” fallacy. Typical of the dog wankers and sodomites running the Vatican to conjure up this scenario - little altar and choir boys just crying out to be butt-fucked by God’s spiritual representatives on Earth.”

“Really, what is wrong with these priests? They take this vow of celibacy then turn their lascivious attentions to children. Why can’t they just stick to a spot of self-abuse and jack off, or screw their seminary mates – or go off up in the hills, shagging sheep like normal guys do?”

Sexual abuse of children by Roman Catholic priests has been widely reported throughout the world, with the countries of Canada, Ireland, United States, United Kingdom, Mexico, Belgium, France, Germany and Australia receiving the most attention – as unlike the Third World nations where the Vatican holds sway, their media isn’t governed by the fact Church and State are inseparable and the reporting of these crimes officially suppressed.

According to the Catamites Gazette, the systematic sexual abuse of children by Roman Catholic priests and nuns since the foundation of the Church, almost a couple of thousand years ago, was not viewed as a significant social problem as the victims would be threatened with eternal damnation if they didn’t bend over or refused to suck and swallow – or Heaven forbid – grassed their abusers up to their parents or the authorities – which of course, in those Dark Ages days of yore, ‘the authorities’ were the Church.

Thought for the day. Within the Oxford English Dictionary’s indexed lexicon of 750,000-plus words there is none that accurately describes Fr McBumbugger and his squirly concept of the causes of child sexual abuse. However it has been unanimously agreed by a conclave of kiddie-fiddled victims and outraged parents that the word CUNT comes pretty close.

To wit, fuck the Roman Catholic Church and the graft and corruption-ridden Vatican – and their 2,000 year old Flavian-concocted New Testament confidence trick viz perpetual lies concerning Jesus, virgin birth, Purgatory, Forgiveness from Sin and Everlasting Life.

Here we see before us an institutionalised propaganda scheme designed to control – and milk dry – the common herd – by manipulating the masses and keeping them submerged in a quagmire of illiterate ignorance – from womb to tomb – thus depriving them of the opportunity and intellectual ability to critically ponder upon the paradox of good and evil – and too the inherent mysteries of our spiritual core.

Hmmm, Jesus saves – but the Pope invests.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.


Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.


Anonymous said...

Brill kick in the ass for the kiddie fiddling RC priesthood - satire dead on target n right where it hurts most.

wiggins said...

I read recently where the Katlick church was relaxing their ban on the use of condoms but in special circumstances only......e.g. when the choirboys are suffering from diarrhoea.

Bazzer said...

Like the St Sodom’s Church for Latter Day Pederasts moniker - serves the Vatican right.
"returns covered in bits of wool and smelling of wet sheep" - now that is a classic piece of humor.