Cabinet Reshuffle Results in Kowtow Act 2012

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Newly-promoted in last week’s controversial cabinet reshuffle to the post of ‘deputy-assistant under-minion’ to the Lib-Dum octogenarian Business Secretary Vince Cable - Michael ‘Libor’ Fallon, a Tory Party career tosspot, who is ‘sore thumb’ conspicuous in a crowd of oicks due his unqualified arrogance and delusional sense of self-importance - has lost no time whatsoever in taking advantage of his freshly-elevated position to start ‘gobbing off’ and calling for an end to Broken Britain’s ingrained 'politics of envy’.

Fallon committed his personal bias against the blue collar working class to the public record earlier this week, informing one gutter press hack from the Daily Shitraker that he’s making it a ‘divine mission’ to scrap 3,000 previously-approved government regulations and simplify the task of sacking under-performing staff – specifically people whose faces simply no longer fit in with a company clique – suspected whistle-blowers and the non-conformist Bolshie subversives who think for themselves and have the audacity to dare complain about working conditions and pay.

The incumbent Tory MP for Sevenpokes, Fallon is yet another tight-fisted Scot who’s slithered his way under Hadrian’s Wall and into the cabinet to join up with his fellow slimy reptiles – and hence carries the stigma of being doubly-damned due the fact he started his political career as an apprentice boot licker to the sinister kiddie fiddling Sith Lord, Peter ‘Crichel Down’ Carrington.

Viewed by friends and associates alike as a politically myopic twat whose head is so far up his own arse it’s a wonder he can still breathe, the smarmy Fallon believes – in his unqualified opinion – that the British common herd – including the unemployed – should bow down and 'salute' wealthy people - and neo-Commies like Deputy PM Mick Clogg be barred from looking for novel ways to tax them into overseas exile.

“It is my belief that the UK’s leading entrepreneurs – such as Barclays and Tullet Prebon plc - should get Olympic gold medals for their efforts and not be hampered by the thought of interminable Industrial Tribunal hearings and massive compensation payouts if they choose to sack some subversive element of their workforce. Personally I’m committed to making it easier to sack people – such as Posh Dave did last week with his Pol Pot style cabinet ethnic cleansing sortie – and hopefully this doddering old Vince Cable character’s the next on his hit list.”

Here again we’re burdened with a political shyster short on the credibility ratings and bearing the indelible stains of disrepute concerning his past dodgy MP’s expenses claims - and with nary a consideration for his constituents’ needs is off pursuing a self-serving big business agenda – bent on trying to impress the party’s political bigwigs and win a few brownie points with his mates in the City and upper echelons of the UK’s corporate pondscum by calling for end to the historic ‘culture of envy’ concerning salaries and pay packages.

Hmmm, ‘culture of envy’ be damned. What unemployed skilled engineer – or any other fucker and their dog - wouldn’t be envious of a cabinet minister’s salary cheque of some £134,565 quid per annum – or even an MP’s pay packet of a measly £65,738 – or the opportunity to submit a dodgy claim for £8,300 nicker in Parliamentary expenses for the mortgage on your second home (a factor which only applies if you’re fortunate enough to have a ‘first’ home – just like this unscrupulous hypocrite Fallon).

Oh yes, let’s not overlook the self-righteous scumbag’s part in the Parliamentary expense-fiddling scandal – but again, if you’re a member of the of House of Conmans, or the Lords, then you can call on the old boy / Masonic network to get away with all kinds of shit for fiddling expenses to pay for duck islands and rent boys that would cop some hapless twat a full five years penal servitude in the real world – but only a slap on the wrist style chastisement for screwing the taxpayer if you’re a money-grubbing MP.

So, to cut to the chase, under this awry hare-brained ‘Bonfire of the Regulations’ scheme of Vince Cable’s that Fallon is taking up as a personal crusade to further fuck over the working class, more than 3,000 ‘red tape’ bureaucratic regulations will be scrapped and hundreds of thousands of businesses – (factories, shops, offices, pubs and clubs) - will no longer face excessive scrutiny and be exempted from health and safety inspections - to protect them from the onslaught of compensation culture claims.

Thanks to the implementation of ‘Austerity Dave’ Scameron’s baneful Beecroft Report, an establishment-approved 'no-fault dismissal' practice of hire and fire-at-will is due to take effect and doubtless prove to be a damper on workplace morale due the ‘like it or leave it’ compliance stench that constitutes its core essence – a doctrine fraught with the spectre of unintended consequences.

This of course will suit Fallon down to the ground, realigning the working class in a feudal system role of cap-doffing peasants, grovelling before their social betters – the rich and shameless – and a return to the pre-Magna Carta “Yes Sir, No Sir, three bags full, Sir!” toady bullshit.

So, what next for our multi-cultural fuck-up of a ‘womb to tomb’ Big Society we might well ask – Fallon pushing a bill before Parliament to introduce legislation for the passage of a Kowtowing Act 2012 to ensure we all ‘salute’ our elitist social betters?

While there is no such thing as ‘conventional political wisdom’ there does exist a phenomenon, and all too frequently displayed, known as ‘conventional political stupidity’.

Fallon’s House of Conmans expense fiddles: total second home claims.
2004-05: £16,825
2005-06: £16,882
2006-07: £22,110
2007-08: £22,853

Thought for the day. Hmmm, only one thing worse than a politician – and that’s a kiddie fiddling child molester – and knowing the public school-acquired perverted habits of the majority of the fudging Masonic membership of Shitehall’s civil service, Parliament and the adjoining doss house known as the House of Lords, then that distinction is very blurred.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.