Kraut Court Bans Kikester Cock-Snipping

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A veritable bevy of irate Jewish and Muslim groups gathered in Berlin over the weekend and for once put aside their absurd socio-political animosities, to join in common cause before the German courts over a faith-related cultural obsession with foreskins and argue their God-given (actually God-mandated) religious right to cut the end off their dicks.

The joint demonstration was staged in the German capital to protest a regional court's ruling that the circumcision of young boys – involuntary genital mutilation of a minor - constituted a criminal act – with Bavaria’s chief moel Rabbi Sheldon Snipcock, being arrested last week at his St Shylock’s Synagogue for Latter Day Kikesters for performing the banned procedure without a license to practice medicine nor being a qualified surgeon – and causing actual and permanent bodily harm to a child.

The gospel according to a report in the Scheisse Schleudern Zeitung gutter press tabloid relates that during Snipcock’s arraignment on Friday, the Cologne courtroom was turned into a virtual theological combat zone, with the neurotic Rabbi assuming the customary Jewish defence of whinge-ridden victimhood and arguing and with brazen hubris (chutzpah)that he was one of the Chosen People and the sitting judge an obvious anti-Semitic heathen for denying him the religious right to chop the ends off little boy’s willies – and sited a biased report from the kikester-dominated American Academy of Paediatrics on male circumcision that claimed the health benefits of newborn male circumcision outweigh the risks of the procedure.

In response, Judge Atilla Kristallnacht, pointed out that the American Academy of Paediatrics report was simply a propaganda statement to protect their money-spinning foreskin-docking industry and in Germany such an unnecessary medical procedure constituted ‘mutilation’ and a crime.

“If, on reaching the age of majority, an adult male bent on a course of self-harm – a chabad follower of Judaism - or Islam - wishes to have a couple of inches of his precious manhood chopped off, then it is his choice - and the same applies in the case of Muslim females and this absurd practice of the labial and clitoral excision performed on little girls.”
“Cock-chopping might well be legal in this Jewish homeland you people rattle on about – this Israel that the Zionists have usurped and stolen from the rightful Palestinian owners – but not here in Germany.”

Rabbi Snipcock fired back that the covenant of circumcision had been made between Abraham and Jehovah – and who was Judge Kristallnacht to question the Halacha and writings of the Pentateuch - and word of God – by denying a Jew’s freedom to practice their religious rights?

Resorting to a hysterical outburst of paranoia to condemn the Judge’s decree, Snipcock declared “We know you German neo-Nazi scumbags, forever scheming up ways to put down the Jews – just because we had Jesus crucified. This ruling to ban the ‘bris milah’ will leave our male children ‘orlah’ and makes me destitute and out of a job – or perhaps you would prefer we castrate our boys instead of circumcising them as that would fit nicely into your Final Solution agenda.”

This elicited a stern rebuke from Judge Kristallnacht of “Do you mean to tell me that some mythical deity named Jehovah or Yahweh supposedly commanded this Abraham character thousands of years ago that every Jewish male must have the end of his dick lopped off – and you people are still swallowing the same old bullshit and doing it? Are you mad? How about if God had said poke out a child’s eye – or cut his ear off – would you do that too?”

The jury is still out on this one, deciding if Judaism bear the rank of a religion, as their rabbis declare to the goyim Gentiles, that stands ‘a cut above the rest’ (sic / no pun intended) - hence the case continues.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.