Tuesday, 25 September 2012

MP Ousted for Questioning Official Lie

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The UK’s Parliamentary lower house assembly was thrown into tumult and chaos last Tuesday when septuagenarian Labour MP Paul Flynn was stricken with a bout of ‘ODD’ (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) and breached the constraints of political correctness by standing up amidst the ranks of the forces of darkness to be counted - deciding it was a good time to cut to the chase regarding the ‘lost cause’ Afghan war and to state a few home truths.

For his valiant efforts Flynn was unceremoniously kicked out of the House of Conmans for having the audacity to go on the Hansard record, claiming the incumbent Libservative Coalition government are as guilty of lying over the state of the ongoing Afghan conflict as Tony Bliar was concerning the illegal invasion of Iraq.

An article in the Neo-Colonial Gazette reveals that anti-war campaigner Flynn, the Labour MP for Newport in Welsh Wales, produced incriminating evidence that proves the Tory Defence Minister Philip ‘Dandruff’ Hammond had repeatedly lied to Parliament concerning the conflict in Afghanistan and was doubly guilty of treating British soldiers like cannon fodder by dispatching further troops to die in vain in a war that was lost the day NATO ever stepped into the Graveyard of Empires.

When he refused a directive from Speaker John ‘Spendthrift’ Bercow to withdraw the accusation, a Standing Order 43 motion was issued for Mr Flynn to remove himself from the chamber – to which he indignantly responded by giving Speaker Bercow the ‘Digitus Impudicus’ – and hence an SO44 ‘Disorderly Conduct’ motion was issued and the Sergeant-at-Arms, Harry ‘Pitbull’ McGnasher, turfed the hapless Flynn out on his arse – with benefits and salary stopped for the day.

‘Dandruff’ Hammond appeared on BBC1’s ever-popular primetime Warmongers Hour programme the same evening, where he informed host Andrew ‘Bat-Ears’ Marr that Flynn’s comments were scandalous. “How dare this sheep-shagging Welsh oick use Parliamentary privilege and start spouting off like that in the House of Conmans."
"Really, one might well speculate what’s going to happen if every MP suddenly evolves a moral conscience when a member raises a question concerning the lack of a cohesive NATO strategy in Afghanistan and starts gobbing off and telling the truth – then our entire government structure collapses.”

In support of the MoD’s Hammond, the Tory Party’s Chief Whip, Andrew ‘Thrasher’ Mitchell - (yet another frog who dreams of becoming a toad) – took time out from writing letters of apology to the Met’s Plod Squad to inform media hacks that “Old Taffy Flynn needs to get with Parliament’s anti-snitch and grass programme and stop behaving like some tell-tale fucking pleb – rabbiting on about the Coalition’s flight from accountability and their primary responsibility being to Broken Britain’s voters.”
“How are we supposed to live up to our international commitments and get anything worthwhile done if we in government have to hold ourselves accountable to the common herd for every sodding thing we do?”

Flynn himself was hailed the hero of the day by press hacks and later feasted and toasted in the saloon bar of Whitehall’s Rat & Pikey Arms pub where he held court and proclaimed his reasoning for the outburst that saw him evicted from the chamber for the day.

“One of my Newport constituents, whose husband is serving with the Queen’s Own 21st Body Bag Regiment in Afghanistan’s Bellend Province, assigned to guarding the opium crops, came to my surgery last week and showed me his letters to her, clearly stating that the entire NATO / ISAF military force were turning into a bunch of twitching, paranoid nervous wrecks, constantly looking over their shoulder.”
“Now here’s the clincher, as this wasn’t for Taliban snipers or even the usual friendly fire from those deadly US remote UAV MQ-9 reaper drones - but their sneaky Afghan counterparts about to pull another ‘green on blue’ frag’ attack or shoot them in the back.”

“Seriously, I can’t quite decide if we’re a client state gopher to the US of A or simply the bought and paid for stooge of the Rothshite crime syndicate’s banksters - with our government foreign policy dictated by Washington and Tel Aviv straight to FS Willy Vague’s personal cellphone.”
“Just step back for a minute here and you can see the Tories and the Lib-Dums are both cheer-leaders for Israel - with the likes of Willy Vague an actual apologist for Israeli human rights abuses inflicted on the Palestinians and maintaining this ‘zero criticism of Israel allowed’ policy that the BBC and Rupert Mudrock’s News Corporation and Sky TV channel sycophantically adhere to.”

“But it comes down to a lot more than just these debt-racking neo-con wars of aggression we’re being dragged into by the Great Satan and the kikesters – with Syria and Lebanon and Iran next on the agenda.”
“The British electorate might well be deluded into believing they have a choice and some say in their socio-political destiny – but every fucker and their dog knows this is bullshit and our fate is decided by a sinister shadow government comprised of a corporate-financier elite that have the country by the short and curlies.”

“UKIP’s Nigel Barrage is right concerning this globalism paradox. We need to
establish a Diametrically-Opposed Party to restore our statehood and our sovereignty immediately if not sooner – which is going to prove nigh on impossible if our once-sceptred isle’s cultural identity gets further pawned to the EUSSR - and will vanish totally with the coming advent of an abominable European Federation.”

Thought for the day: Those who would ignore the lessons of history are doomed to repeat it.
Anyone recall the World War One-inspired Remembrance Day ‘Lest We Forget’ mantra – a gross hypocrisy as all we’ve ever done is ‘Forget’ - and do the same thing over and over again – and we’re still doing it – or rather allowing such to be done, in our name, by these career criminal pawns we refer to as ‘politicians’.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.


Anonymous said...

Like the 'pleb' dig at Ego-Man Mitchell

Reagan said...

Nice one Rusty. Very apt, the double-whammy.