Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Council Stasi Keep Big Brother Shitlists

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Thousands of hapless British taxpayers (aka ‘the sheeple’) involved in disagreements with local council staff have had their personal details stored on secret databank blacklists ready for the coming collapse of civilisation as we know it - once the banks and entire economy finally go tits up this coming year and martial law is declared - and Bolshie peasants get rounded up in droves and incarcerated in detention camps for a dose of re-education.

The local authority jobsworth bureaucrats have covertly listed the details of thousands of members of the public who have been involved in disagreements with PCSOs or binmen over seemingly trivial matters – but never been charged with or cautioned or convicted of a crime – yet nevertheless, with bias aforethought, have classified them as ‘undesirables’ and individuals who could potentially pose a threat to their privileged ranks and cosy sinecures when the shit hits the fan and all social services cease to operate.

Scores of councils across our once green and pleasant land have now established ‘Social Pariah’ databases containing personal information on whoever they consider radical and civil rights activist residents in their areas - such as car registrations, telephone numbers, savage household pets, nicknames and distinguishing features, including facial tattoos, glass eyes, nose piercings, warts and Mohawk hairstyles.

Earlier this year Posh Dave Scameron’s Libservative Coalition disingenuously pledged to crack down on the legacy of New Labour’s paranoid panopticon surveillance society, with Beverly Titwank at the Ministry for Wasting Time & Money informing one gutter press hack from the Gestapo Gazette that a recent review of the number of state powers of entry contained in primary and secondary legislation had discovered 1,200 in existence, of which more than 400 were created by Tony Bliar’s New Labour dystopic regime.

Apparently councils have wildly different criteria for placing people on the blacklists – with many automatically getting their names entered simply because they had the audacity to phone or write to complain over the dismal refuse collection service or street drains being blocked or the wheels falling off their garbage and recycling bins.

Twatford and Wrecking Council spokeswoman Fellattia Gammer told a reporter from the Stasi Review that it logs residents on the shit list ‘if a person behaves in a way which is felt could pose significant psychological upset to employees – such as getting very close to the truth by referring to them as “a bunch of useless jobsworth tosspots'.

This criteria was instanced when Feryl Beryl McSkanger, a 15-year old single mother of three and resident of the Stench Hill sink or swim housing estate, ended up on Manchester Council’s ‘Top Ten Anarchist’ watchlist after she dared to complain no less than three times in the same week that her roof was leaking due missing tiles, with rain flooding the bedrooms - which became a set of whitewater rapids as it cascaded down the stairs and out of the front door to form a raging maelstrom in the garden – into which her collection of concrete gnomes and a neighbour’s cat has disappeared.

Speaking to the media, Ms McSkanger related “Yeah, I kept ringin’ up about the floodin’ an’ the council sends round this pair of dog-wanker Community Enforcement Officers on hire from one of the Renta-Moron or Thugs-R-Us agencies an’ they sez “Yer need ter keep yer gob shut, goin’ on complainin’ like that cos yer on housin’ benefit anyways an’ if yer not careful we’ll come an’ take yer kids inter care” – an’ that woz when I set Genghis, me pitbull terrier on ‘em.”

“They must think I’m effin’ stupid just cos I talks like a slapper, but they forgets I went ter college an’ got an NVQ 3 in Barrack Room Law. Them twats just class anyone as a non-conformist an’ a Bolshie radical wot asks awkward questions an' doesn’t kiss their arses.”
“Yer got the twats tellin’ us they’re slashin’ social services wot we’re payin’ for in council tax an’ what have yer, but they’re still goin’ on wiv wastin’ our effin’ money on prissy little vanity projects but throw a wobbler an’ spit the dummy, callin’ yer a trouble-maker when yer complain about yer effin’ roof leakin’ – or the fuckin’ big pothole in the middle of the road wot needs patchin’ wiv a barrow-load of that stinkin’ Tarmite spread crap.”

Shabby Acrobati, the director of Liberty – a civil rights and wrongs pressure group, commented to a journalist from the Big Brother Weekly “Local councils hold the personal details of tens of thousands of law-abiding citizens whose only non-crime is to complain about their shithouse council services – yet they’re branded as potentially violent and put on a council blacklist with Asbo thugs and kiddie fiddlers and rapists.”
“This situation had got out of hand under the paranoid New Labour regime and disseminating their terrorist black propaganda to justify them compiling databases of any bugger and their dog, then classifying them as undesirable local residents – just like Adolf Hitler and Stalin and Pol Pot did – and we all know where that leads to next – exile as pariahs or internment in some Kafkaesque style gulag.”

Thought for the day: Fuck the fat cat local council jobsworths and Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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