Clinton: WTF is ‘Irony’?

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The officious rug-munching US Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, a frog who dreams of becoming a toad, once again off on a self-delusional power trip, yesterday informed gutter press hacks that Syrian President Bashar al-Assad has ‘lost legitimacy’ amid the Western Zionist agent provocateur campaign to incite an ‘Arab Spring’ uprising and overthrow the established government, then replace it with a lapdog ‘Israel friendly’ regime.

Quick off the mark to get her two bob’s-worth of condemnation in after a mob of pro-Assad supporters got a cob on over US black propaganda interference in their country’s domestic socio-political affairs and trashed the Damascus-based US embassy in disgust; the Rodent declared, to anyone interested in listening to her disingenuous waffle, that President Assad was not indispensable and his continued position as head of state was regarded in her personal unqualified opinion as ‘illegitimate’.

Alas, here the intellectually-challenged rabid Rodent should have engaged brain before opening her big gob, as she totally missed out on the irony of her hypocritical comments with regard to her own boss, President Barky O’Barmy - aka Barry Soetoro.
Call him whatever, he’s the ‘illegitimate’ Kenyan- Indonesian cuckoo currently squatting in the White House Oval Office, who was elected on the strength of a amateurishly-forged Hawaiian birth certificate proving his US citizenship – regardless of the fact no fucker or their dog had previously ever heard of ‘Mr Nobody’ at Columbia University or in the 50th ‘Aloha State’.

The US embassy attacks in Damascus were apparently incited following a party of shit-stirring American and French envoys, including Ambassador’s Billy Bob Warthog and Pierre le Merde, sniffing around the troubled desert shithole town of Hama - a focus of anti-government unrest caused by Israeli-sponsored armed agitators - which drew sharp criticism and condemnation from the Syrian media and local politicos when the pair of interfering diplomats went out of their way to express support for the so-called pro-Democracy activists.

During Monday’s ‘reprisal’ attack on the US embassy, Assad’s Arab Socialist Baath Party demonstrators were sickened by the inedible non-halal chew n spew food stocks after breaking into the Yank’s PX, so switched tactics and assaulted the French embassy instead, smashing windows, and climbing to the roof where they tore down the ‘Tricolore’ and replaced it with a freshly-bloodied sanitary napkin.

French Ambassador Pierre le Merde informed the international media via cellphone that the violent incident lasted more than three hours, and the protesters had used one of his security guards as a battering ram to enter the building – where they plundered the embassy kitchen pantry’s stocks of cheese and baguettes and rifled the wine cellar – before taking turns to shit in the croissant-making machine.

US Ambassador Billy Bob Warthog III, the former CEO of Monsanto GM Toxic Treats, told reporters via a Skype press conference from the ravaged embassy that “Secretary Clinton’s gonna come down hard on this Assad guy and demand that the Syrian government meet their international responsibilities to protect us foreign diplomats and our property from these mad Mullah Muslim terrorist types who hate our Democratic freedoms."

Meanwhile, back in Washington, the Rodent’s PA, Miss Mingeeter Dildodo, issued a press release from her dodgy dyke boss which stated "It is our goal to promote and support the will of the Syrian people to achieve a democratic transformation and kick out Assad’s regime and thus stop them supporting Hezbollah or doing the bidding of the Iranian anti-Christ."

Alas for the Rodent – aka the Mena Mafia Matriarch and estranged muff-licking spouse of the Arkansas Amateur Rapist / draft dodging Bill Clinton - it’s always a problem when her bizarre foreign policy ambitions and sense of her own importance far surpass her limited intellectual powers of comprehension.

Such was instanced some months previously when she personally demanded that Colonel Muammar Gaddafi relinquish his office and leadership and hand over the nation’s oil wealth to a bunch of US / Zionist stooges.
Then, upon being informed to ‘go fuck herself silly’ with whatever priapic salad vegetable of choice , conspired and coerced to force the UN’s hand into passing Resolutions 1970 and 1973 and resorted to bombing the living shit out of the place – and too the civilians that nasty NATO were tasked by the corrupt UN administration with protecting – and still Gaddafi’s holding out in his fortified Kevlar tent / Fuhrerbunker.

Hence, given the advantage of 20/20 hindsight, the Rodent and the US Neo-Con’s Project for a New American Century’s war machine need to be very wary of a repeat of the current Libyan 'stalemate' fiasco by getting involved with any military action against Assad’s Russia / Iran-backed regime in Syria.

Hmmm, if it wasn’t for bad luck the bankrupt United States global bully wouldn’t have any.

Thought for the day: Alas for the Rodent’s lack of diplomatic skills, but when the only tool you possess is a hammer, then every problem begins to look like a nail.
Regardless, whatever his shortcomings, at least Bashar al Assad has a valid Syrian birth certificate to prove he’s at least qualified by his ‘citizenship’ status to be President – unlike the dodgy darkie Teleprompter Man in Washington.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.