Monday, 2 May 2011

Prince Chazzer Slams Ozzie TV

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Hands up anyone in the global human audience who still thinks the British Royal Family has no power and fulfils merely a ceremonial purpose? Hmmm, quite a few, but you’re all Wrong with a capital W, so it’s time to think again.

In order to prevent a Down-Under ribald ‘piss-taking’ comedy show from making jokes about Buckingham Palace’s mongrel shower of shit inhabitants - or referring to the Queen’s Greek hubby – (his own domineering and humourless father) - that notorious rat-faced racist Prince Philip, as the ‘Virus Man’ or a genocidal Nazi sympathiser and all-round cadging scumbag – or actually daring suggest the UK tax-payer-funded maintenance of the spendthrift royal family is not value for money - the wing-nut eared Prince Chazzer – aka the ‘Plant Whisperer’ – pulled a few old boy and Masonic network strings - tied firmly around the scrotums of television barons in Britain - to enforce a media embargo that threatened to completely severe live coverage of Wills and Katie Middleclass’s wedding to Australia’s biggest TV station if they refused to cancel the satirical show.

After the eccentric Prince of Wales’ Clarence House spy staff learned that Australian broadcaster Roo-Vision planned to run a satirical commentary of the Royal Wedding alongside the regular feed on Trevor McBruce's ‘Scumwatch Hour’ programme, Chazzer exercised his illusionary ‘royal prerogative’ and demanded they cancel the show, and then ordered the host broadcast supplier, the BBC, along with Associated Puke, Shite B and Pox Channel, to cut off the live feed to Australia - a regal command to which the BBC clicked their heels and obediently complied.

It has since been independently confirmed by whistleblowers working for Ox-Rat, the international snitch and grassers watchdog that monitor abuses of station and power by the Royal Family – such as spitting at or kicking peasants - that they threatened to deny Australia’s national broadcaster access to the wedding after they fielded plans to run a satirical show titled ‘Dog Wankers’ which would have featured comedians providing a hilarious piss-taking commentary over live footage of the marriage of Prince Willy and Kate Middleclass – targeting hi-viz ridiculous figures such as His Royal Rudeness, Prince Philip - and Prince Harry, the ginger-mingin royal cuckoo; and Fat Fergie flogging off commercial access to her ex-spouse Prince Andy at £1,000 per kilo / fifteen minute session.

News of this ‘slanderous assault’ on their regal dignity prompted Chazzer to shit kittens then spit the proverbial dummy, and while shouting “Off with their Heads!” commanded his gophers to expedite an all-out effort to suborn the truth and divert attention from the Teutonic Saxe-Coburg-Gotha / wicked Windsors being exposed as a bunch of moronic inbred mutant spongers who’ve been swimming at the shallow end of the human gene pool for far too long through maintaining incestuous relations to keep their ‘Superior’ – albeit corrupted and diseased bloodline – alive and kicking – and in perpetual power.

‘Superior’ – Ha! – now there’s a laugh in itself – what a bunch of prognathous-jawed mutants they really are – big ears and not much in between them - with dentistry so fucked up they can eat an apple through a tennis racket. A bunch of fuckwit psychotics plagued by perpetual insanity and a host of like DNA flaws.

However, faced with the prospect of airing non-profitable static for almost four hours on the wedding night – (which certain anti-Monarchist elements maintain would have been just as entertaining) - the Roo-Vision channel unfortunately capitulated to the Royal will and shit-canned the ‘Dog Wankers’ expose programme.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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