UK Plods Plan for Armageddon

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Since UK eco-warrior Green groups, student activist organisations and generalised anarchist cadres have set-to in spring cleaning their troops of undercover police moles and like-minded snitch and grasser pondscum, the nation’s Plod Squads are now gearing up to incite a spot of gratuitous violence (against themselves) during peaceful anti-government protests by students - to justify the outlawing of Ghandi-style ‘civil disobedience’ and the banning of all future public gatherings of more than two people in one place without a special permit – the emergency legislation of which will be tailored to account for and deal with seditious bus queues and Townswomen’s Guild tea mornings.

This planned agent provocateur action will target not only incensed students but also other like-minded marginalised and disaffected members of British society that view this current pantomime fiasco of a Libservative coalition government as a bunch of fuckwits that need ejecting from office – immediately if not sooner – before they make a total balls-up of anything else.

Scotland Yard’s counter-terrorism unit, normally tasked with snuffing Brazilian electricians and Big Issue vendors, and assisting MI5 to plant bombs under London tube train carriages, has begun pressuring UK universities and ‘demanding’ more so than ‘politely requesting’ their cooperation to provide intelligence of any and all plans fomented by student groups to organise protest marches, demonstrations and to occupy town halls, civil buildings or Ministry of Defence nuclear weapon arsenals.

This ‘demand’ has been e-mailed by a senior officer in the command’s ‘Fuck the Students Up’ programme to scores of higher education centres around our once sceptred isle – in a bid to disrupt plans for a spot of free range anarchy and to target student organisers and leaders (apart from Plod Squad moles that still remain unidentified inside student groups, working as agent provocateurs) for arrest – or assisted suicide solutions – or chucking on an extraordinary rendition flight to the Republic of Fuckupstan – or simply stage a Final Destination style freak accident like falling victim to a hit and run collision while sitting on the bathroom crapper – or bleeding to death during a casual stroll though the Grassy Knoll Woods.

Bazzer McScrunt, the co-founder of Nihilism Now! - the London student body most determined to incite a ‘Storming of Parliament’ 1789 style French revolution which aims to reduce the length and breadth of Britain to a smouldering mass of ruins and then start again from scratch with a system of feudalist autonomy, told one reporter from the Anarchists Gazette that the end of January will see mass demonstrations and protests involving zillions of like-minded aggie fuckers comprising students of all disciplines, the unemployed and the homeless, trade union members and any other fucker and their dog with an axe to grind- all hell bent on bringing this useless Libservative coalition pantomime down.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Thought for the day: With the wholesale disruption of British society being a key part of Agenda 21, wouldn’t it be a ‘coincidence’ if Mark Kennedy turned up like John Parsons Wheeler III, snuffed in a dumpster on a landfill site with a Columbian necktie.

Secondly, does anyone find it odd that our town’s streets are devoid of any and all semblance of police presence – yet hold a bit of a protest march focused on criticism of government mismanagement and suddenly they’re every fucking where to suppress dissent.

Oh, and by the way, fuck Big Brother – and his little sister – and the New World Order.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.