Friday, 7 January 2011

Tribunal Finds for Dinner Lady

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A Smegmashire school dinner lady, penalised, persecuted and then sacked by local education authorities after snitching to the pikey immigrant parents of 13-year old Mingeeter Rugmunch that their child had been bullied on the school premises, was dismissed unfairly, according to a decision reached today by her local Employment Tribunals office.

Gladys McScrunt, 69, the kitchen’s senior gravy and custard chef, was suspended from her £125 quid a-month role at the Scroteborough Asbo Central Academy after grassing up a group of students to the girl's parents in June 2009 – informing them their daughter had been victimised by the gang for being what they termed ‘pussy-licking dyke scum’ – who then tied her to a fence with skipping ropes, stripped her nether regions naked, and proceeded to ‘give her a good seeing-to’ – which apparently included a sound rogering and turning her into a three hole suck n swallow slut.

The case attracted mass public attention after the details were posted on the Blabberwocky social networking website in September 2009, with Mrs McScrunt’s cause being taken up and propagated across the full media spectrum by Ox-Rat, the international snitch and grassers establishment abuse watchdog charity.

Mrs McScrunt’s union attorney, Irwin Bogbrush, filed a case of unfair dismissal and argued during the Tribunal hearing that his client was sacked due the fact the school governors were "embarrassed by the public outcry" after she revealed the details of the case and her suspension to hacks from the gutter press’s red top tabloids. Further to this, she was not given a correct notice period and her rights to freedom of expression under EUSSR law were infringed.

Conversely, the school's head teacher Ms Deborah Scabb, ignoring the profusion of riding crop welts across the Mingeeter’s buttocks, cigarette burns on her inner thighs and breasts – plus hypodermic needles stuck through her nipples - denied to reporters that the girl had been bullied but rather a popular fetish game of sado-masochistic role playing had gone too far.

However, Ms Scabb did admit that Mingeeter had been found tied to a fence with skipping ropes but attempted to mitigate the seriousness of the actual ‘assault’, claiming the girl had been playing a game called ‘Prisoners and Guards’ – the extraordinary rendition version - which was acquired from a scenario listed in the school library’s copy of ‘BD/SM for Dummies’ - and the boys and other girls involved had simply got slightly carried away when it was Mingeeter’s turn to be their submissive fuck slut.

Ms Scabb related “I’ve personally dealt with the four boys and one butch yobette involved and responsible for Mingeeter’s ordeal, and have placed them all in detention for a whole week, tasked with writing out a thousand lines apiece, stating “Anal Sex Without a Condom is a Sin.”

“Obviously Mingeeter was upset with having to relinquish the role of Dominatrix and play her part as the sub slut. However she seemed happy enough after being untied and the black polythene bin bag removed from over her head and receiving treatment from the team of paramedics that Mrs McScrunt had called up on her cellphone. Apparently the blood transfusion and the cold compress applied to the rope burns on her neck were wholly unnecessary and just expedited as safety measures.”

In total contrast to this statement to the press, the Employment Tribunal were provided with hard evidence that Ms Scabb had sent a letter to the girl's parents following the bondage and flagellation incident, disingenuously stating for the record "You may wish to know that Mingeeter had a minor mishap during playtime today and suffered several slight friction burns after becoming entangled with her skipping rope."

Did you have BD/SM classes in your school curriculum? Was your head teacher a sado-masochistic fetishist – or just a lying scumbag like Ms Scabb? What are your bondage tastes – plastic tie wraps, Manila hemp, B & Q gardening twine, barbed wire, leather straps or simply shackles and handcuffs?

Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a free afternoon session with an Alpha Dominatrix of your choice at the notorious Max Mosley Sexy Spankers Salon in Slappers Gardens, Chelsea.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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