Tuesday, 18 January 2011

Berlusconi Dodges Justice – Yet Again

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The Italian stallion Slime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is being investigated over his dirty dealings with a 17-year-old nightclub dancer. The zillionaire media tycoon who squirmed his way to the top rank of Wop politics through foul means more so than fair, is suspected of abusing his official powers to influence the extra-judicial release of a Moroccan girl - Karima el-Mahrough – (known by her stage name as ‘Ruby Pompinaio’ - a dancer at Milan’s notorious Slappers Club) - from a police cell.

Ruby, described by media reporters and justice officials alike as “una bella fica” (a nice piece of ass) is currently at the centre of a Milan court investigation over allegations she had been engaging in underage sexual relations with Berlusconi at his Hardcore Estate residence on numerous weekends since she was 16.

However Ruby, who was disingenuously revealed to the Milan police by the Palazzo Chigi as being the niece of President Hosni Mubarak of Egypt, told one journalist from the Scumbaggia Gazetto red top tabloid. “Silvio used to help me out with my school homework between pole dancing spots and gave me 7,000 euros to pay for tuition fees. The rest of this merde, about me being his three hole whore, just isn’t true. Silvio’s always too flaccid from snorting tracks of Viagra so the nearest we ever got to penetrative sex was a spot of semi-erect frottage.”

The investigation, which many regard as being politically-motivated, is targeting the cock-happy playboy premier for his alleged involvement in prostitution with a minor and abuse of power to secure her release from police custody after she was arrested while naked and on her knees, assuming what was described by the Public Prosecutor as a ‘doggy style position’ against the bar, providing one seated Slappers Club patron, reputedly a Vatican Cardinal, with ‘oral suck n swallow services’ while a certain Monsignor Il Cazzo gave her a ‘good rodgering’ from behind.

So, if Berlusconi thinks this is New Year and a fresh start to 2011, he’d better think again as Rubygate has come back to haunt him - given a new lease of life and potency by magistrates in Milan.
The scandal is potentially more serious for the Premier than the scores of previous he's been involved with, in that it concerns video footage and eye witness testimonies supporting the allegations of acts of underage prostitution with Ruby Pompinaio and abuse of official powers in attempting to have her released from jail and the charges against her dropped.

In fact the resurrection of Rubygate compounds a shitty week all round for Berlusconi as Wopville’s Supreme Court has also removed his immunity from prosecution in three ongoing corruption trials which include charges of bribery and fraud related to his business dealings – plus a further nuisance charge of duck buggery.

Meanwhile lawyers for the 96-year-old prime minister dismissed the claims as "absurd and groundless" – statinging the purported incriminating CCTV footage of Silvio Berlusconi with Ruby is actually that of his twin brother ‘Brasso’ – who is currently unavailable to appear in court due the fact he’s taken a vow of silence and gone into retreat at the St Sodom's Monastery for Latter Day Paedophiles - in Northern Tibet.

The court now also has to deal with fresh conflicting testimony into the Rubygate prosecution case against the Premier, provided by Polizia di Stato Chief Inspector, Tony Berlusconi (no relation), and Guardia di Finanza Commissioner, Guido Corruptioni, head of Milan’s anti-graft squad, who are both ready to swear on a stack of Bibles while standing in a bucket of holy water that Berlusconi only had his Palazzo Chigi henchmen contact the arresting officer, PC Morono Thugarotti, to ask if he could post bail for her and never mentioned the fact that if Ruby wasn’t released immediately – if not sooner - he’d have his Sicilian Cosa Nostra buddies snuff them all, in addition to their families and neighbours - and everyone else on their Christmas card list - including their milkman.

As Commissioner Corruptioni posed to press reporters “Really, does that sound like our Prime Minister, shouting at a Milano police constable: “Bastardo! Nessuno me lo ficca in culo!”?" (Bastard! Nobody fucks me up the ass!)

Mr Berlusconi, currently in Berlin for a meeting with Hitler’s daughter, Chancellor Mangela Merkel, informed the media that he found the Constitutional Court hearing very funny - "laughable" in fact. And does the Italian public care or even give a flying fuck that their Premier has been goosing a 17-year old Moroccan renta-shag and actually admitted to one press hack: “Ruby mi ha fatto un pompano”? (Ruby only gave me a blow job). Not one fucking iota as he’s such good entertainment value.

Thought for the day: While Mussolini, aka ‘Il Duce’ got the trains running on time, Berlusconi, aka ‘Il Douchebag’ always manages gets his Arcore Villa San Martino stag parties fired up on time - with plenty of ‘Bunga-Bunga’.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

No comments: