No 10 Spin Doc’ Vacancy – Apply Within

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Posh Dave Scameron is searching for a new director of communications, following Andy Pandy Coulson's out-of-the-blue resignation. But what sort of similar low-life could successfully assume the dubious mantle and become Downing Street's latest "spin doctor"?

Further, what compulsory stellar character qualities are required for the successor? Perhaps an ex-convict with an established history of serial killings? A Frank Mitchell mad axeman type? Or a media magician alike Hitler’s Nazi propaganda genius, Joseph Goebbels. Maybe an actual physical manifestation of that despicable political pariah Malcom Tucker - in the flesh?

Yet again that would simply amount to another Bliarite-era foul-mouthed lying twat like Alastair Campbell who might also be tempted to burn the mid-night oil and scribe ‘kiss n tell’ diaries concerning the PM’s nefarious deeds. Diaries which could well have contained the whole incriminating schlemiel on the illegal invasion of Iraq - having Dr David Kelly snuffed to keep his conscience-stricken snitching gob shut – and further sanctioning the murder of British citizens in the 7/7 false flag London tube trains (and double decker bus) terrorist attacks that were blamed on Mohammed al Patsy & his Jolly Jihadi pals from Guy Fawkes Land - Yorkshire.

Obviously Cabbage Patch Dave’s going to need someone with a PhD in ‘Advanced Character Assassination’ who wouldn’t flinch at phone hacking, bearing false witness against their neighbour - or selling the British public the ‘greater good’ / ‘defence of the realm’ necessity for minor acts of genocide to forward the nation’s Neo-Imperialistic ambitions.

Suggestions that old Vermin in Ermine, the power-hungry fudger, Lord Peter Scandalson, might be up for a spot of political apostasy and join the pantomime represented by the Libservative coalition have been fielded already but a cabinet panel decided he was simply too slimy a career rodent to have aboard an already leaking ship.

Cynics describe a Downing Street director of communications as the head "spin doctor", the bloke who tries to remain in the shadows like some noxious leper with galloping halitosis while generating ‘positive coverage’ of the government's moronic actions – a task more suited to a personage of divine powers than a mere mortal.

Scameron’s detractors have posed that in contrast to the secondary school-educated Coulson, this time around he’ll plug for not only an ex-public-school appointee but one who attended the same educational institution as himself – and the majority of the cabinet – that iconic sodomite’s paradise – Eton.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Thought for the day: Whoever cops for the job will have their work cut out 24/7 – making a duplicitous and inept twat like Scameron look good in the public’s eyes.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.