Lonrho / Lonmin: Different Name / Same Scum

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Lonrho or Lonmin plc or Anglo-Platinum - call it what you will – with the recent scandalous homicidal events at the Marikana platinum mine near Rustenburg in South Africa this past week, to all intents and purposes it’s still the same old scumbag, fly-by-night, criminal syndicate incorporated in Britain in 1909 as the London and Rhodesian Mining and Land Company Limited - that super-Kraut Tiny ‘Fiddles’ Rowland ran with an autocratic iron fist for decades while shafting Africans up the back passage for generations – and was once so rightly branded by the Tories piranha-toothed paedo’ PM Ted Heath as “The unpleasant and unacceptable face of Crapitalism”.

And that closing condemnation from kiddie-fiddling Teddy Boy summed up Lonrho’s corporate morality – although the lyrics of Tennessee Ernie Ford’s 78 wax recording of ‘Sixteen Tons’ best described Lonrho as an organisation that not only wanted the worker’s blood, sweat and tears - but also their first born.

So, what’s changed since Tiny’s day, might we ask? Well, obviously not a lot when you start counting the head toll of bodies shot to death by the Lonmin-aligned trigger-happy Plod Squad, along with Lonmin’s own armed mine guards from the local Renta-Thug Security Agency.
Some 34 snuffed, with a further 78-plus wounded – and all for pulling a supplicant Oliver Twist and asking “Please, can we have some more” in their meagre £300 quid monthly pay packets for working all the hours God sends – and bollocks-deep in seven kinds of dangerous shit.

Doubtless Tiny would be rubbing his hands and saying “Shoot a few more of the black fuckers – teach them who’s boss” – if he were still around and not otherwise occupied, stoking the fires of Hell for the rest of Eternity.

But that was Tiny – the unacceptable face of Crapitaism – and for his sins repeatedly, and with conspicuous malice aforethought, denied a knighthood or life peerage - or an invite to join the Freemasonic Brotherhood. A German national born Roland Walter Fuhrhop in an Indian internment camp during World War One, then interred again on the Isle of Man during WW2 as an enemy agent.

Oh yes, a classical piece of work was old Tiny – and well remembered for his waltzing with dictators performances around Africa and using Lonrho-owned gutter press rags in London to sanitise the bloodthirsty homophobic likes of the despotic and clinically-insane Robert Rhubarbie - amongst a host of disreputable others.

Thus, the terrible Tiny protected and secured Lonrho’s mining interests by promoting Zimbabwe as a Marxist Utopia established through ZANU’s terrorist actions - and the expulsion – or murder - of white farmers in the programme of government licensed thievery that was promoted under the disingenuous misnomer of ‘land reform’ – all thanks to Tory PM Slaggie Twatcher and her fatally misguided Foreign Secretary Lord Peter Carrington.

So, what’s the problem, this ‘Trouble at Mill’ strike which caused the homicidal confrontation, might we ask? The gospel according to one report in the Ripoffs Review, the Lonmin-subservient National Union of Mineworkers officials were not forthcoming in negotiating the Marikana miners’ pay demands, hence they threw them the proverbial ‘digitus impudicus’ (big finger) and all signed up with the breakaway Association of Mineworkers and Construction Union to get the desired results.

These guys, the below ground mine workers / drillers, are getting paid what economists and banksters alike often refer to as ‘sweet fuck all’ - while Lonmin’s Mammon-worshipping Chairman, CEO, directors and exec’s are picking up six and seven figure annual salaries, along with performance bonuses and ‘lowest rate’ stock options –plus gold-plated pension pots.

To wit, the miners aren’t after anything like ‘equal pay’ parity, just a boost on their £300 nicker per month salaries – or a production bonus scheme initiating – a petition soundly stamped on by Lonmin’s Shylock finance director, Simon ‘I Beat Bulimia’ Snott – who had the audacity to claim the strike and replacing the dead workers could mean losing some 15,000 ounces of the annual projected 40,000 ounces of refined platinum production – quite a financial bite (£22 million quid down) with the precious metal currently priced at US$1,462:50c per fine Troy ounce.

Hmmm, perhaps Lonmin Chairman Roger Phillimore and CEO Ian Farmer might be worried how this year’s Christmas goodies are going to be funded if their performance bonuses dwindle to a mere trickle.

However, South African President Jacob ‘Trouser Snake’ Zuma has taken time off from his priapismic hunt for wife number seven to step in and save the day, ordering his moronic brother N’Kunta, head of the Ministry for Graft & Corruption, to organise a commission of inquiry into why the brain-dead psychos comprising the massed ranks of the Marikana Plod Squad opened fire with automatic weapons and massacred the core leadership of the Bolshie mob of some 3,000 irate miners who reportedly charged them, shouting “We want more pay!” and throwing large lumps of high grade platinum ore.

Political opponents of President Jacob Zuma’s ruling Kleptocracy Party have raised calls for Lonmin’s South African holdings to be nationalised – specifically the Marikana platinum mine at the centre of this violent pay dispute, exacerbated by tensions between two rival trade unions and a not-fit-for-purpose police force whose commanders they wish to see charged with murder in sanctioning the bloodiest police operation since the last bloody police operation.

And there you go - c'est la vie, and welcome to Black Africa. Sharpeville besides, anyone miss those good ole apartheid days?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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