Thursday, 30 August 2012

Citizen Khan Gets Beeb Firebombed

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The Biased Broadcasting Corp has been slapped with accusations of stereotyping Broken Britain’s Muslim immigrant communities as a bunch of bomb-chucking extremists in its new sitcom, Citizen Khan.

The Beeb has received thousands of complaints in a lobbying campaign launched by a cadre of irate fundamentalist Muslims since the first episode aired on BBC One last Monday evening, claiming the sitcom treads too close to the embarrassing truth – that they really do hate our Democratic freedoms.

The six-part series follows a Muslim mosque’s madrassa cleric in Birmingstan's Jaffacake Hamlets housing estate and his efforts to recruit the Faithful to join the muhijadeen ranks of his Jolly Jihad militia and declare holy war on the Zionist stooge Tory government of PM ‘Shylock Scameron’ and his cabinet of Rothshite crime syndicate lackeys who all kowtow to the US Great Satan – a theme already milked dry for comedy effect by the 2010 movie ‘Four Thick Twats’ and their moronic efforts to bring Western civilisation to its knees and establish a 14th century Islamic Caliphate in Bradford.

While the Muslim community might well be justified in crying “Foul!”, the series is the ‘brainchild creation’ (sic) of a British Muslim, Aldi ibn Himar, who also stars in the show as Citizen Khan’s hapless tosser of a brother-in-law Shaheed al Ka-Boom who gets fired from his job as a suicide bomber with Al Qaeda’s Semtex Saracen Brigade in Leeds after bungling four consecutive attempts to blow up the local Pestco Greedy Grocer supermarket and strike terror into the hearts of the infidel Christian masses nationwide.

Other members of the cast include Babes in Burkas star Sharmuta Bala’a il A’air as the bungling Shaheed’s slapper of a sister who refuses to wear a hijab and leads a double life, working as a lap dancer - and the comely Neekni Sahrawi, who played Brenda Titwank in Bell-Enders, as Mrs Zeenat Khan – with the portly Ras al Shitbag cast in the role of Citizen Khan - plus the Oscar-nominated Liwat Manuke Khara portraying the sinister Qatari terrorist financier Sheikh Fizzy Al Kaseltzer.

Candida Mingerot, spokeswoman for the media watchdog, Ofcom, informed press hacks that their switchboard and Twitter services had been jammed solid with complaints over the content of the programme, which she personally considered was a fair indicator of its popularity as a success for the BBC – especially so when they had three Molotov cocktails tossed through their Media City office windows in Manchester on Tuesday night.

BBC programmes director Ron McScrote said the first episode of Citizen Khan attracted a viewing audience of some 3.6 million, which he described as “a most positive start – so we’ll be ready for the response to next Monday night’s screening of Episode 2 by having lots of buckets of sand and asbestos blankets on hand – and the local fire brigade standing by for when the firebombs come hurtling through the windows again.”

Thought for the day. Flatbrokes, the UK’s ubiquitous High Street bookies, are giving odds-on that the BBC’s Director-General, Marky Mark Thompson is the joint favourite, along with Beeb Chairman Michael Lyons, to have fatwas issued against them for sanctioning the screening of Citizen Khan and thereby insulting the tenets of Holy Islam – with Thompson’s incoming replacement DG, Georgie Bentwhistle, rumoured to be having second thoughts over the job if he has to live with the threat of some crazed fanatical suicide bomber jumping in the jacuzzi with him one dark night.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

So funny - nearly spit my cornflakes out reading it.