Catholic Hypocrisy Holds Philippines in Poverty

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The United Nations has urged the Third World Republic of the Philistines to pass a social healthcare bill that will allow President Benny Aquino’s cash-strapped government to provide free contraceptives to the shag-happy common herd in a forlorn hope of significantly reducing the highest birth rate in south-east Asia – with the pill and condoms considered a cheaper alternative to supplying television sets to every peasant class family to give them something else to do at night besides baby-making.

However the progressive Reproductive Health Bill has met strong opposition from the Roman Catholic Church due their ‘one size fits all’ dogma, with legions of priests and nuns tasked by the Vatican to lead protests against it’s implementation based on the false and grossly hypocritical claim that the introduction of such a law would corrupt moral values – a factor that is more at scent than substance in a country where every comely chick with two active brain cells achieving telemetry realises she has a unique gilt-edged commodity between her legs – specifically that she’s sat on a proverbial meal ticket that far exceeds the bottom-end parameters of their minimum wage society - and prostitution is legalised via a local government / City Hall ‘hostess’ licence.

Really - ‘corrupt moral values’ indeed – what an ironic joke. This is a country swamped in a veritable deluge of inherent cultural practices of graft and corruption, honed to a fine art through 350 years of Spanish ‘greed’ and 50 years of all-American ‘bordello’ colonisation – to the extent they can no longer function without it.

Don Benny ‘Noynoy’ Aquino III, heir to the scumbag oligarch Cojuangco family’s zillion hectare Hacienda Luisita sugar plantations in Tarlac Province - upon being elected to the eyrie of public office, was – like his ‘pledge amnesiac’ late mother President Cory before him - stricken with a bout of the customary Selective Memory Syndrome concerning his campaign trail promises of ‘land reform’.

Corruption infests every facet of the Philippine government and bloated civil service bureaucracy – all dominated by a cabal of ruling oligarch dynasties which are in effect provincial warlords with their private armies comprised of homicidal renta-thugs – a socio-political tragedy that has resulted in the bestowing of the rightly-deserved stigma of a ‘failed state’ Banana Republic.

This governing cadre and their sycophantic gophers commanding the Philippine Armed Forces and the National Police (another ‘crime syndicate’ comedy of errors) are so bent that if they dropped down dead there’d be no need for a coffin or grave-digger, but simply wind them into the ground – corkscrew fashion.

With 87% of the Philippines population being Catholics of convenience due 550 years of constant brimstone and fire brainwashing delivered from the pulpit – and practicing animists as soon as they’re away from the church – last Saturday a host of priests and nuns led a black propaganda-boosted rally of thousands of shit-for-brains peasants from Manila’s Utang na Loob Church to the House of Representatives, demanding that Congress reject the maligned Reproductive Health Bill.

The intellectually-challenged Bishop Teodoro Bacani, incumbent cleric at the St Sodom’s Church for Latter Day Pederasts, informed one press hack from the Catamite’s Gazette that President Aquino had no right interfering in matter of religion and the promotion of contraceptive devices for family planning.

Resorting to metaphorical nonsense the moronic Bacani applied the flawed allegory that "It's like the government saying it will pass a law that it intends to promote a campaign to convince Muslims to eat bacon butties and pork scratchings – and what would Allah say about that, might we ask?”

The good Bishop concluded “Contraception, like abortion, is against the will of God, so if married couples don’t want more children then they can always do like their priests with choir boys and have ass sex – no chance of pregnancy with that method.”

President Aquino and his Lista ng Tubig Party support the planned UN Population Fund birth control legislation, which is aimed at encouraging families to spawn no more than two children and also take up some kind of nocturnal / bed-time hobby such as reading that doesn’t involve bareback copulative sex and getting pregnant every year.

Unfortunately for Aquino’s hopes, one of the country's most popular celebrities, the brain-damaged boxer turned brain-damaged Congressman for Sarangani, Manny ‘Pacman’ Pacquiao – himself one of a brood of six children with four of his own - has joined the debate, reading from his prepared script that contraception is against God's will – while allowing unplanned kids to starve and die from a lack of free medical treatment isn’t.

Thought for the day: Ah well, for the hapless Republic of the Philistines, Church and State are indivisible – even though the oligarchy worship at the altar of their selfish, voracious god Mammon.
Alas, Roman Catholicism - the longest-running confidence trick in the known Universe. 2,000 years of ‘Jesus saves’ – but the Pope still invests – with the priesthood adhering to the precept that the more kids families have the more religious devotees will flock to the altar and fill the offertory plates with lucre – and the vestry with altar boy bum fodder.

As great Chinese sage Confucius say: “Them that don’t shouldn’t preach to them that do.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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