Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Not content with being unanimously condemned by the international community of nations (apart from the AIPAC-kikester dominated government of the good ole US of A – that gross hypocrite Defender of Freedom and Nemesis of Injustice) for their rabid war crimes and human rights and wrongs abuses inflicted daily on the Palestinian populations of the occupied West Bank and the Gaza Strip - besieged behind the nutty Knesset’s racist Great Apartheid Wall – Israel’s Jewish Eda Haredit rabbinical court has sentenced to ‘death by lapidation’ (stoning) a stray dog they claim is the reincarnation of a shifty Shylock lawyer who once insulted the judges by labelling them as a bunch of meshuggenah scumbags.
The dog, now named by court press hacks as ‘Yetzer Hara’, sneaked into the Jerusalem court complex last week after being fed titbits of hamantaschen cookies and kosher foreskin-fortified matzo by an attorney grabbing a quick lunchtime snack around the court building’s fountain - and has since refused to leave.
Historically a race possessed by ridiculous superstitions – such as believing they’re God’s Chosen People and still abiding by the Abrahamic covenant of snipping the end off their willies, the rabbinical judges, led by Rabbis Zayin ben Zonah and Sheldon Scattstein, have, in their fatally flawed rhetoric versus reality logic, decided the dog is the reincarnated evil spirit of the 20-years deceased secular lawyer, Lech Lehizdayen whom the judges of the day cursed for his accusations of graft and corruption against them – bidding his soul to enter the body of a dog.
The canine, man’s iconic ‘four-legged friend’ - in all their diverse breeds, shapes and sizes, are, like the Gentile goyim (Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus etc et al), considered impure animals under the statutes of the Pentateuch and the squirly traditional cabbalistic code of Chabad Judaism.
However, after ordering the court’s Hafganat Koah security guards to arrest the hapless dog, the animal is said to have escaped before the ‘stoning’ sentence could be carried out by a court-appointed gang of blood-thirsty schoolchildren in Jerusalem’s ultra-Orthodox Mea Shearim neighbourhood. Nice one, go for it Fido.
Ms Sharlila Weaselstein, director of the Jerusalem-based ‘Be Kind to Dogs’, an animal-welfare organisation, filed a complaint with the local police against the head of the court, Rabbi Mamzer O’chel Batachat – who in turn advised her to fuck off sharpish as they didn’t even investigate grievances filed by the ‘Be Kind to Palestinians’ displaced refugees organisation.
Ah well, as the Israeli Prime Minister, Bobo Nuttyahoo (aka the Failed Messiah) and his crime syndicate Knesset government throw the big finger up at the complaints, reprimands and censures of human rights activist organisations and moral jurists voicing the statutes of international law following every barbaric outrage the IDF and illegal settlers commit against the usurped Palestinian population and Freedom Flotilla activists, then no doubt the RSPCA have got no fucking chance of filing and pursuing a successful case against the rabid Rabbinists for wanting to stone a mere pooch to death.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
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