Scameron Kisses Phil the Greek’s Ass

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The UK’s sycophantic Libservative Coalition Slime Minister, Posh Dave Scameron – already in God’s bad books this week for dissing the Archbishop of Canterbury, aka the nation’s ‘conscience’ - went into typical boot-licking Eton ‘toady’ mode yesterday while paying tribute to his Royal Rudeness, Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, ahead of the grumpy Greek git’s 90th birthday on Friday, praising his unshakeable sense of fun – of wanting to be reincarnated as a deadly virus and wipe out humanity - then ironically describing the senile old scrounger as ‘a remarkable old chap’.

Scameron, obviously after earning a few brownie points that might lead to a knighthood or life peerage down the road, proposed a Uriah Creep style humble address from the House of Conmans to the Queen, conveying the warmest good wishes of Parliament to mark her husband's milestone birthday - with hopes of continuing health and prosperity – which are nigh on guaranteed as long as he continues never having to do a real day’s work and keeps living off the backs of the British taxpayers.

Hmmm, 90 years old, eh – in Phil the Greek’s case such perhaps goes to prove the adage that while the good die young, septic old reprobates seem, unjustly, to go on forever.

Philip, as thick as thieves with the German Nazi elite in his younger days when it seemed like Hitler’s Thousand Year Reich might last a bit longer than the piss ant ‘twelve’ years it actually did, is, if the truth be known, to all intents and purposes a right nasty piece of work all round. The type of bloke you can take anywhere twice – the second time to apologise – who once boasted to his over-privileged, secret handshake, apron-clad brethren, while giving a speech at a Masonic dinner, that he was the first man to three-hole the Queen, claiming “I’m pretty sure she liked it up the arse – I seem to remember I did during my years at Gordonstoun.”

The smarmy Scameron went on to mention that the dodgy duke was a free-loading patron of more than 800 global organisations, and described his Duke of Edinburgh Awards scheme as the gold standard in leadership among young people – a precursor to attending Common Purpose’s neuro-linguistic programming courses and getting totally brainwashed – or ‘sheeple-ised’
The Libservative PM also spoke of the World Wildlife Fund and Philip's extraordinary passion for killing any and all forms of feral fauna – from poxy partridge to grumpy grouse to tenacious tigers – and anything in between that fell into the index of Linnean taxonomy and tasted good when marinated in 5-year Highland malt and roasted over a barbeque pit.

Not one to be outdone by his political opposition – or betters – and miss out on the opportunity to come to the notice of the monarchy, get a ‘good dog’ pat on the head, and earn a few snob-value kudos, the intellectually-challenged New Labour opposition leader Ed Millipede (aka the Emissary from the Planet Fuckwit) quickly got in on the brown-nosing act.

Ironically praising Philip’s marital devotion to old Lizzie - (who, over the past 60 years, he’s committed adultery against more times than enough with a string of poxy whores and concubines - in the days when he could still get it up) - and his very questionable ‘enormous contribution’ to public life - noting that "Prince Philip’s unique and comical turn of phrase has become a much-loved feature of modern British life – especially so when he mentions ‘slant-eyed Chinks’ and ‘grungy unwashed Wogs’.”

Globally renowned for his unqualified arrogance and tactlessness, and being a total failure in the diplomatic art of exercising political correctness, Philip’s faux pas, gaffes and howlers are legion, with such racist quips as referring to arch war criminal Henry Kissinger as ‘that frog-faced kike’, and asking an Ozzie Abo’ tribal elder if he was ‘still chucking spears and eating people’ – which elicited a terse reply of “Fuck off, yer beaky Greek cunt.”

Other prize Philip quips include: “Stupid bloody oick!" - referring to a Cambridge University car park attendant who failed to recognise him – and informing girl pupils at the Sapphie Dildodo College for Latter Day Rugmunchers in Smegmashire, who wear blood-red uniforms: "You all look like Dracula's daughters” – plus the all-time classic to the President of Nigeria, Winnebago Jaffacake, (dressed in traditional Muslim robes), "Looks like you're ready for bed, Sambo!"

Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, has stood at the Queen's side for nearly 60 years, and is recognised the world over as a cranky old racist bigot and anti-Semite who once confided to a press hack from the Blabberwocky Gazette that he had to work out for himself what his role was by trial and error.
"There was no precedent. When Lizzie’s Dad, old stuttering Bertie, popped his clogs I asked some bugger at Bucks Palace “What the fuck am I expect me to do now she’s the Queen?” - they all looked blank and nobody had much idea if I was supposed to turn up at the Jobcentre once a week or simply follow her around, shaking the hands of rows of bloody oicks and commoners."

The Duke of Edinburgh's 90th birthday will be celebrated by having the royal gardeners trim his eyebrows, then followed with a service attended by the Queen and other members of the Royal Family, which will take place in St Sodom's Chapel at Windsor Castle on June 12th, two days after his birthday.
Prince Philip, who is the longest-serving royal parasite in British history, was born on the 10th June 1921 - a span horologists refer to as ‘a very long time ago’.

Philip admitted he did not want to be interviewed for a documentary to commemorate his 90th birthday and the BBC’s Candida Mingerot’s's attempts to delve into his early years were given short shrift – specifically “Fuck off you little slapper twat – or I’ll have MI5 give you the Princess Diana treatment.”

Thought for the day: Notable quote displaying hereditary mindset – by Prince Philip to the Nazi-trained Paraguayan dictator Alfredo Stroessner: “It's a pleasure to be in a country that isn't ruled by its common people."
Hmmm, the Prince meets his eugenics equal number in the Illuminati’s ‘Agenda 21’ Jolly Genocide Club.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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