Friday, 3 June 2011

Canucker’s Generate Gender Chaos

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The controversy surrounding the snap frozen ‘North of the Niagara’ Canadian ‘mystery sex’ baby kicked off anew yesterday when the unreleased recording of an April interview carried out by the Gender Benders Gazette with Nurse Chlamydia Mingerot, the maternity clinic midwife who was contracted privately to supervise the delivery of the enigmatic ‘Baby A’ (A for Androgynous) while blindfolded, was posted on SpewTube by whistleblowing snitches acting for the homophobic Fagbashers fundamental Christian activist group.

The Middlesex, Ontario, parents of ‘Baby A’, Kathy Twitterdick and Beavis Cocker, have been widely accused by human rights activists and social workers of imposing their bizarre Chinese Wall gender ideology on Baby A’s psyche, but are defending their decision to keep the infant's sex a secret from everyone – including the baby itself - in order to allow the child to develop his or her own ‘gender identity’ – even at the risk of ‘it’ turning out to develop hermaphrodite characteristics and become stricken with SWS (Social Withdrawal Syndrome) then shunning natural courtship interaction with fellow humankind – and fucking itself stupid out of sheer frustration.

In a recent interview with the Raving Bonkers Gazette, Ms Twitterdick opined that the base idea of "the whole world knowing what lies between our baby's legs is disgusting and voyeuristic. When Beavis and I met at an Enigma Society masquerade party neither of us knew what sex the other was, which initially had its drawbacks – and even to this day Beavis has never seen what’s between my thighs – even though I have a fair idea there’s a one-eyed trouser snake in between his.”

Conversely Twitterdick and Cocker have also been criticised over the manner in which they are raising their two elder children - Jizzum, nine years, and Klitty, eleven – rumoured to be a son and daughter respectively but the local ‘Robin Gits’ Bet-Yer-Arse-Off bookies have refused to speculate and give odds or take wagers on their actual sex.

Apparently Baby A’s elder siblings are encouraged to choose their own clothing and hairstyles – usually of the unisex variety - and to challenge gender norms. The butch Jizzum wears ‘it’s’ hair in long braids, while Klitty sports a punk orange Mohican and nipple rings – with them almost exclusively assumed to be girls – although photos snapped by press hacks last summer show both children in tight ‘budgie smuggler’ swimming trunks, with the pair each displaying a bulge resembling a pair of bollocks and semi-erect cock than a camel-toed pubic mound.

The family copped for widespread criticism and media abuse after being the subject of a recent profile in Toronto’s popular Dog Wankers Gazette red top tabloid, with editorial columnist Harry ‘Pitbull’ McGnasher writing “This is where the old Madam and Eve / Adam and Steve adage comes from: should married couples be Frank and Earnest – or man and wife? I mean to say, what are these people up to? Their kids are going to turn out more fucked up than a soup sandwich with scrambled identity problems and all kinds of sexual psychoses – and I’ll guarantee that at least one of them’s a serial killer.”

Apart from causing bureaucratic mayhem with the humourless jobsworth officials at the Toronto City Hall when they registered Baby A’s birth and refused to disclose the child’s sex, even the grandparents don’t know if it’s a boy or girl – so last Christmas, to avoid confusion and disappointments, they bought a ‘his’ Jimmy Choo-Choo designer train set and a ‘her’ Barbie Dominatrix doll’s house – complete with it’s own miniature BD/SM dungeon – and a Ken slave wearing a dog collar and leash.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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