Tuesday, 21 June 2011

US Boast Taliban Peace Talks

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Outgoing US Defence Secretary Robert Gates, a career-orientated pro-ZioNazi apologist and former bass yodeller with the Moron Tabernacle Choir, has confirmed that the US is holding outreach talks with members of the Taliban in Afghanistan – and while such were preliminary, a political solution was the way most of these wars ended (they hope and wish) – just as did the highly embarrassing strategic ‘Peace with Honour’ retreat from Vietnam in the 1970’s.

Yet another major fubar display of American military aggression against a bunch of Stone Age Asian peasants whose indomitable will forged a guerrilla army that kicked the global bully’s hypocritical ‘Defender of Freedom’ arse out of the Vietnam peninsula and brought the North and South political division to a timely end.

This is the first time the US has publicly acknowledged any such contact with the die-hard Islamic fundamentalist rebel group - which they helped create and fund during the Soviet occupation - and comes a day after Afghan President Hamid Kami-Karzai let the proverbial cat out of the bag by spreading a nasty rumour that peace talks had been initiated.

Karzai pulled a double whammy by going one further and announced that the US military presence in his country - the Graveyard of Empires - was an ‘occupation’ – a statement that immediately drew the ire and fire from the rug-munching Secretary of State, Hilarious Rodent Clinton via her PA Mingeeter Cameltoe and the Kabul-based US Ambassador Shylock W. Gongleberry who informed reporters “When we hear ourselves being labelled as ‘occupiers’ - and worse - just for snuffing a few civilians by mistake, then our pride is offended and we begin to lose our inspiration to carry on guarding the gas pipeline and opium crops.”

This little whinge session by Gongleberry elicited a swift response from President Kami-Karzai that “Well, if they’re offended then withdraw your troops and piss off back to America – we never invited you here in the first place.”

The US is due to start withdrawing its 97,000 troops, comprised of the 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment, from Afghanistan in July – apparently a speeding up of the current repatriation scheme of a couple of dozen GI’s per week in body bags shipped back to the Department of Defense's Charles C. Carson Center for Mortuary Affairs at Dover AFB in Delaware.

As the 90,000 troops will be needed for the Autumn 2011 scheduled ground invasions of Libya and Syria and the ensuing 'Operation Arab Spring' quagmire that’s bound to follow, the US aims to hand over all security operations to the pantomime ranks of the Afghan security forces as soon as they learn to point a gun in the right direction – and swear on a stack of Korans that they won’t just up and fuck off to join the Taliban as soon as the Yanks are gone.

Gates, yet another ex-CIA head honcho with an Extraordinary Rendition diploma in ‘Advanced Eyeball Twisting’ now ensconced in the White House, but due to quit his office at the end of the month, informed one press hack from the New World Order Gazette that primary intelligence steps had been taken to ensure the contacts with rebel muhijadeen forces were genuine and those involved were actually influential members of the organization and not just some rag-arse cunts called Achmed or Mustapha kitted out in ‘Taliban Rules’ t-shirts whose uncle knows this bloke from Tora Bora who belongs to Mullah Omar’s Facebook buddies.

Gates gave no details as to whether the discussions involved Taliban officials with US authorities, or some Walter Mitty style go-between from one of the many conflict arbitration consultancy firms infesting all the US-dominated global war zones and out to rake in a fast buck by brokering a pick n mix peace accord.

In response to this so-called ‘truce initiative’ by US G2 military agents and diplomats, the Taliban - who ruled Afghanistan before being driven from power by US-backed forces in 2001 in reprisal for sheltering the non-existent al-Qaeda terrorist group and their leader Osama bin Laden – showed their interest by promptly carrying out several suicide attacks in Kabul, killing nine people and injuring a dozen more. Police claim the insurgents also attacked two convoys supplying NATO troops in the eastern province of Ghazni with truck-loads of armaments ordnance - killing the security guards and hijacking the full monty.

Thought for the day: The bell now tolls for the US puppet President Hamid Kami-Karzai and his National Kleptocracy Party government – just as it did for Communist President Mohammad Najibullah when his Soviet protectors pulled out and the Taliban eventually seized power, imposed the draconic rule of Sharia law – then promptly labelled him a traitor, dragged him out of the UN compound, where he was publicly castrated and his fingers broken, then dragged to death behind a truck around the streets, with his blood-soaked body hanged for all to see and smite with curses in Kabul’s Aryana Square.

Oh, and by the way, fuck the US warmongers and their ZioNazi New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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