Monday, 20 June 2011

US Bombing of Libya Falls Short of ‘Hostilities’

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In the biggest crock of bullshit ever to be uttered since his last big crock of bullshit, President Barky O’Barmy yesterday announced that the US involvement in the NATO campaign to bomb the living hell out of Libya does not contravene Congressional laws of approval for such action as it falls well short of actual ‘hostilities’.

The Kenyan cuckoo currently occupying the White House Oval Office had the audacious arrogance to stand in front of his ubiquitous teleprompter and inform a press hack from the Porky Pies Gazette – while keeping a straight face – that US participation in the conflict was more at promoting a black propaganda campaign using the CIA’s character assassination hit squads, to incite civil unrest and spread nasty rumours that Gaddafi’s Viagra-fuelled government forces have orders to rape anything that resembles a female of the species.

The hypocritical controversy stems from the Pentagon’s General Counsel, Billy Bob Warmonger and the acting head of the Justice Department's Office of Legal Counsel, Candida Krapp, advising O’Barmy that the US involvement in the Libyan air campaign constituted ‘Hostilities’ with a large capital H.

However, in the typical double-dealing corrupt fashion that has besmeared and discredited the Mena Mafia-run Clinton, Georgie Boy Dubya Bush and Barky O’Barmy administrations with disrepute and infamy (rug-muching wives, brain dead incumbents and forged birth certificates besides), the President opted to heed his Washington-based AIPAC controllers, relaying orders from their ZioNazi masters in Tel Aviv, and followed the advice of White House counsel Cazab Weaselberg and State Department legal adviser Seymour Scattstein, who argued the US involvement, when gauged on the International Collateral Damage Index scale of one to ten, actually registered a mere three – and hence fell short of what could be termed ‘hostilities’.

Regardless of questionably legal legerdemain by Shite House counsel, the War Powers Resolution of 1973 states Congress must authorise participation in hostilities longer than 60 days, although the president can seek a 30-day extension to further terrorise the Libyan population with ‘non-hostile military action’ to further the Project for a New American Century – which prompts one to contemplate a campaign of Bismarckesque sabre-rattling and Realpolitik intimidation – with a few dirty tricks tossed in for good measure.

GOP Republican members of Congress have accused the shifty O’Barmy of violating that law since the 20th May, when the 60-day deadline ended – with last Sunday – Father’s Day - marking 90 days since the US led the UN-approved no-fly zone mission over Libya and commenced bombing the shit out of everything that moved.

This has since been expanded via the usual tip-toe strategy into Operation Kill Every Fucker and no longer simply a disingenuous bunch of hypocrisy – selling the case of ‘humanitarian intervention’ to protect the civilian population – scores of whom were blown away in NATO’s latest ‘Whoops – missed again’ snafu of bombing the Souk al-Juma residential district of Tripoli over the weekend.

NATO’s public relations / propaganda office spokeswoman Fellattia Titwank, informed press hacks that the target was actually a missile battery that had been disguised as a ‘Granny flat’ and concealed behind one of the ubiquitous Happy Hamid’s Chew n Spew camel burger outlets – and with the total head count of civilian casualties being less than twenty, this was regarded as ‘acceptable collateral damage’.

So, with O’Barmy, it all comes down to rhetoric versus reality – with the First Amendment (the entire Constitution and the Bill of Rights, in fact) - and dissenting opinion - meaning sweet fuck all to the impostor President – and the continued hypocrisy of Defender of Freedom and Nemesis of Injustice masking the all-American way of ‘global bully’ – with the Libya / Syria war propaganda drives creating novel depths of cynicism, depravity, and an embarrassing lack of credibility.

Meanwhile, regarding the loss of human life tragedy manifested by the fubar bombing of civilian properties in the Souk al-Juma district, the Libyan government spokesman Moussa Ibrahim informed one reporter from the Snafu Gazette that "NATO and the Great Satan are planting the seed of hatred in the hearts of Libyan people for generations to come. Neither we nor the rebel forces will allow foreign armies to decide our future. Insha’ Allah."

NATO has, to date, flown more than 10,000 septic murderous sorties since operations began, including almost 4,000 strike attacks against supposed government targets across Libya – specifically Colonel Gaddafi’s Kevlar-armoured tent and an indiscriminate pick n mix selection of his family members - including children and grand-children and anyone else old enough to bleed.

NATO spokesman Wing Cdr Barrymore ‘Bazzer’ Fuctifino told the BBC "We were operating over Tripoli last night and it’s just one of these things when all the buildings look the same in the dark and our spotters have targeted a Granny flat that appeared to be used by G2 Libyan intelligence personnel. While we regret the civilian loss of life and injuries caused by this unfortunate incident, what do they expect – this is a war and shit does happen – especially so with these precision smart bombs and laser-guided missiles bought from Pound Stretcher.”

No sooner done with ‘Apology One’ then NATO issued another statement of contrition for an air strike on the eastern city of Brega that struck a column of Libyan rebel forces – claiming “This incident occurred in an area of conflict between Gaddafi’s troops and opposition forces, and as they all look the same, it’s not really our fault.”
“However, just wait until we pressure the UN into sanctioning the pre-primed go-ahead for our planned ‘Operation Grab all the Oil’ ground invasion later this summer. Then we can really protect civilian lives and stop bombing them ourselves once we have twenty thousand NATO troops loose on a turkey shoot to take out the Gaddafi gang.”

Thought for the day: Anyone ever thought of getting Bono, the U2 frontsman ‘Failed Messiah’ in here to negotiate a peace treaty – or stick him on the masthead of the lead boat in the next Gaza-bound Freedom Flotilla?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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