Al Qaeda: The Hoax Continues

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to Big Al Qaeda's General Command website – (actually a joint venture of the CIA’s black op’s Porky Pies Division and Rabid Rita Katz’s SITE Intelligence group - based in a shed behind the intelligence (sic) agency’s Langley, Virginia HQ) - the Islamic terrorist organisation’s non-existent second-in-command, Mohammed al Patsy, has been appointed its leader following the second-time around death of Osama Bin Laden, the previous head honcho of the tax-exempt organisation.

Bin Laden, the former boss of the equally non-existent Al Qaeda Jolly Jihad group, who originally died from complications of Marfan Syndrome coupled with kidney failure in 2001, prior to the Israeli Mossad’s ‘Hi-Fiving’ false flag terror attacks of 9/11, was reportedly killed yet again by US forces in Pakistan in early May.

Hence in spite of the US intelligence agencies disregarding evidence that his ‘Pimp my Kidneys’ dialysis machine was sold on e-Bay in a ‘Tora Bora ethnic goods summer sale’ auction in 2001 to raise money for the wake and funeral, the feared Saudi Arabian zillionaire bogey man, this Islamic Jihadi nemesis whose vilification as the Anti-Christ has been perpetuated by the US kikesters, in actual reality succumbed to the ravages of his compound physical ailments ten years previously and has been dead and buried for what horologists term “quite a long time”.

Thus the White House story of his demise last May is revealed to be absolute bullshit - that he died, like Davey Crockett before him, fighting to the last - in a social housing slum near Abbottabad, in the Orash Valley, some 90 miles north of the festering Pakiland capital of Islamabad - hurling handfuls of kidney stones at US Seals and shouting “Insha’ Allah – Allah Akbar” – as he hid behind his 14 inch black and white telly – and flock of burkha-clad wives and concubines.

Conspiracy theories besides, substantiated rumours have evolved on the internet since 9/11 that US and Israeli intelligence services have manufactured the Bin Laden statements to create an evil bogeyman and justify their so-called Project for a New American Century war on terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Yemen, Somalia and Libya - and back home in the continental United States, with the passing of the draconic Patriot Act that will, when so required, allow FEMA (Federal Emergency Military Administration) to impose martial law and either lock up or snuff every Bolshie or anarchistic fucker and their dog who disagrees with whatever the Kenyan cuckoo and his AIPAC kikester-infested administration say or do.

Besides the Islamic terrorist creations of the CIA’s Porky Pies and Katz’ SITE Intelligence black propaganda we also have the works of Ādam Yaḥyā Ghadan - an American Ashkenazi Jew of convenience, who was actually born Adam Pearlman – and whose aliases include Abu Suhayb Al-Amriki, Abu Suhayb and Yihya Majadin – all Muppet Show fantasy creations purported to be Jolly Jihadists. Pearlman, the grandson of the late Carl K. Pearlman, a world-renowned prominent Shylock pox doctor and member of the Anti-Defamation League, operates out of Orange County, CA, and has been lauded by AIPAC for his authentic Big Al Qaeda video impersonations.

Conversely, known to friends and associates alike as a Walter Mitty type character and a total head-banger, the 32-year old intellectually-challenged Pearlman is definitely not a full shilling when it comes to the reality game but has achieved wonders in deceiving 300 million pigshit-thick media-addicted Americans into believing that for some strange reason the entire Arab-Muslim world hate their illusionary ‘Democratic Freedoms’ and want to visit brimstone and hellfire on ‘God’s own country’.

So, the West better watch out as according to our three-pre-mentioned black propaganda merchant sources, Big Al-Qaeda has warned that his boys will continue to fight their Jihad holy war against the ZioNazi US and Israel under Mohammed al Patsy’s direction.

Thought for the day: Shite House officials have mentioned in confidence that it barely matters who the new leader of the Al Qaeda Gang is following the pantomime cyber appointment of Mohammed al Patsy to replace the now-definitely dead and buried Osama Bin Laden.
US Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, told press hacks from the Jolly Jihadist Gazette that Mr al Patsy had nowhere near Bin Laden's credentials in human resource management handling skills – especially so in motivating Semtex vest suicide bombers with the tried and tested ‘effort and reward’ sales pitch philosophy and explaining away the job’s lack of long-term career prospects and pension options.

Thought number two: Fuck the Rothshite bankster-funded Georgia Guidestones – what about the zillions of ‘disposable’ plastic coffins stacked up around Interstate 20 in Madison, Georgia, waiting for ‘occupants’.

Oh, and by the way, fuck the ZioNazi kikester Freemasons and their soup-sandwich-flawed New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.