Kikester Bid for Top IMF Post Vetoed

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Slimy Stanley ‘Shulhani’ Fischer, the governor of the Israeli Central Nesheker Bank, known to friends and associates alike as a bit of an all-round meshuggenah - who this week challenged the Frog’s Finance Minister, Fellattia van der Gamm’s, ability to head the International Monetary Fund by claiming, with his customary chutzpah and unqualified arrogance, that his background as an international money launderer for the black market arms, conflict diamond and drug cartels qualified him as a superior candidate – has had his leadership bid kiboshed by the bank’s executive board due the fact that at 96 years of age he’s simply too fucking old.

The current caretaker IMF Managing Director, Rothshite stooge John Lipshit, told one press hack from the Moneylenders Gazette “Tel Aviv’s already dominating the US government and the Federal Reserve via AIPAC and the Shylock banksters, so Stan Fischer’s precisely what we don’t need - even if he is too decrepit to get involved in scandalous clusterfuck sex romps with hotel maids like Dirty Dominique.”

“I mean to say, do we really want a pro-Zionist and latter day Fagin running the IMF and okaying meg-bucks loans to his buddies in charge of the Knesset’s rogue Jabotinskyist regime - to finance arms deals and build even bigger apartheid walls around the Palestinian’s piss-ant enclaves? Definitely a big no-no as far as public relations and image are concerned.”

This is the second time that Fischer has launched a bid to run the IMF. In 2000, he nosed his way in as a candidate to replace Michel Camdessus but lost out to Germany’s Horst ‘Pitbull’ Nosdork, a former SS cormorant strangler, as Europe's elite maintained its traditional grip on the role and vetoed any chance of a money-grubbing yidster taking the IMF’s reins.

As of going to press the consensus European nominee is Fellattia van der Gamm of France, with the President of the Mexican Beaners Bank, Agustin Cartwheel, standing a close second – with the two shortlisted candidates scheduled to meet with IMF's executive board later this month and their annointed successor to rampant rapist Dominique Strauss-Kahn to be announced by the end of June.

Ms van der Gamm is widely seen as the frontrunner – plus being the odd-on favourite selected by Flatbroke’s, the UK’s High Street bookies, despite Stanley Fischer’s display of sour grapes and venal back-stabbing - questioning her credentials as a lawyer without formal experience as an economist – even though she’s headed France’s finance ministry since 2007.

Thought for the day: So, is it prudent and correct to have France’s Fellattia van der Gamm – a European - as IMF head at a time when the Eurozone debt crisis is threatening the stability of the global economy and could end up with a ‘fubar’ situation where the borrowers (Irish, Greeks, Portuguese) dominate the institution? Or do we want an usurious old conniving kikester like Stanley Fischer in charge?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.