Tory Scum Rake in EUSSR Subsidies

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The family of the Libservative Coalition’s Environment, Food and Rural Affairs Minister, Richard Benyon, whose Whitehall-based departmental staff of kowtowing jobsworths have been working flat out like a lizard drinking to conceal details of who actually receives EUSSR farm subsidies, has coincidentally earned £2 million quid from this very same largess.

Benyon, the Tory MP for Greedbury, owns via his tax-dodging Englefield Trust, a 20,000-acre estate worth £125 million nicker – and whose farmlands, which straddle the Berkshire-Hampshire border, were paid an excess of £2 million through the controversial Common Agricultural Policy farming grants via Brussels over the past decade.

The great-great-grandson of the Victorian era Tory Prime Minister Lord Salisbury - (aka Robert Arthur Talbot Gascoyne-Cecil, 9th Earl of Salisbury (1830-1903) - a man who went through life in total ignorance concerning the use of razors) – Richard Benyon can trace his inbred mongrel genetic ancestry back to William Cecil, the chief political meddler at the court of Queen Elizabeth I – and is reputed to be one of the richest 'plutocrat' MPs in Parliament – worth what investment banksters refer to as “lots and lots of money”.

Benyon, a man stricken with ‘severe learning difficulties’ (a negative intellectual condition that, prior to this era of numpty political correctness, used to be referred to as ‘thick as two short planks’ or ‘shit for brains’) was appointed a Minister at the Department for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) last May.

However in November 2010, in keeping with PM Posh Dave Scameron’s ‘Big Society’ plan and his novel policy of ‘transparency in government’, Benyon’s Defra jobsworths contrarily adopted an ‘information is power’ position and henceforth blocked all data and records concerning how much individual farmers had earned from the EUSSR subsidies – although Brussels’ files reveal that more than 100,000 British farmers were paid an amount of £3 billion quid in subsidies for the past year.

Conversely Benyon and his crew now argue in the face of cat calls of “Graft and Corruption” and “Cover-Up” that they are simply following advice from Brussels – with freedom of information campaigners contradicting this disingenuous claim and declaring the draconian policy of secrecy has been deliberately implemented to protect fat cat farmers – and Defra boss Benyon - from public scrutiny and well deserved criticism.

The government abuse activist groups Ox-Rat and Scumbag Watch have jointly launched ‘farmsubsidy.org’ - a freedom of information website (the rural cowshit equivalent of WickedLeaks) which continues to publish the list of EUSSR subsidy recipients in the face of the corrupt Defra blackout - thanks to the moral consciences of whistleblowing snitches and Bolshie anarchist types working inside the Brussels bureaucracy.

Labour MP Wilf Fuctifino, the shadow Defra secretary, told one reporter from the Greedy Bastards Gazette that Benyon’s position was unjustifiable.
“Really, how can this grasping git benefit from the bounty of EUSSR farming subsidy payments while at the same time introduce an information-denial policy to conceal the fact he’s raking in mega-bucks at the expense of the British taxpayers?”
“Seriously, this Tory Party of Scameron’s really sucks when it comes down to abuse of privilege – all Freemasons together and their old school tie elitist fraternity stricken with an absurd sense of entitlement.”

Thought for the day: Plans for the publication of a list of the individuals who have benefitted from the EUSSR subsidy last year, which was due to be released at the end of April, have now been halted. This would have included multi-millions of quid paid to scores of wealthy landowners and members of the nobility and the parasitic royal family - including the Queen, Prince Chazzer and the greedy, grasping Benyon clan.

Oh, and by the way, fuck the Freemasons and the EUSSR – and the New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.