AGW Scam Hit by Biofuel Bullshit

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

How’s your personal carbon footprint? Have you checked it out on the EUSSR’s all-new and innovative online index scale yet? Are you a ‘Seven League Boot’ CO2 generator or a delicate ballet-shoe Twinkletoes? Or perhaps you’re an average size 9 wide fitting? But do you suffer from fallen arches, a verucca, chilblains or a bunion or ingrown toenail that might just prove ‘carbon costly’ down the road?

Don’t forget, come next April, Cabbage Patch Dave Scameron's Libservative government in Westminster will be mandated by the EUSSR’s Brussels-based Stasi to implement a carbon credit cap and trade assessment on all homeowners and businesses across Britain – without exception - as even unemployed squatters and pikeys will be slapped with a carbon footprint bill to hang around their neck like a leper’s bell.

However, to throw a proverbial spanner into the works, much as the coldest weather ever recorded since the last Ice Age did so by snap-freezing the bollocks off the delegates at Copenhagen’s Anthropogenic Global Warming Summit scam in December 2009, a recent report filched from the EUSSR’s Carbon Index research department by whistleblowers and radical AGW saboteurs working for Ox-Rat, the international snitch and grassers charity, has revealed that biofuels, or fuel made from living, renewable sources (corn, soy and rapeseed) is about as beneficial to the environment as depleted uranium.

The gospel according to the leaked top secret report reveals that rather than reduce the net carbon footprint as intended, biofuels are producing four times more carbon dioxide pollution than conventional fossil fuels ever did in the smoggy old bronchial days of London pea-soupers and the coal-fired steam-driven Industrial Revolution.

Common biofuels like corn ethanol, which has become a popular additive in gasoline – and with cash-strapped alcoholics - and soy biodiesel, which is being used in commercial trucks and other diesel-fuelled vehicles, have been falsely ordained by the Al Bore - and his fellow charlatans posing as High Priests of Carbon Emissions - to be environmentally-friendly because they are renewable.

However in order to grow enough of these crops to use for fuel, the long-established zillions of acres committed to rotational farming and producing the global staples of wheat, barley, oats and rice are being planted with Monsanto Franken stein soy and corn – with further massive swaths of land across the Earth are being converted into crop fields for growing biofuels and not food.

In other words, millions of acres of lush pristine rainforests are being devastated to provide planting space for genetically-engineered mutant corn and soy fields in order to provide enough of these resources for their novel uses – then turn to barren wastelands and dustbowls due hack and burn deforestation practices - which result in depleted rainfall – plus no sources of irrigation and make a total fuck-up of the water table and the environment.

Dr Irwin Fuctifino of Oxford’s Institute of Advanced Guessology told one reporter from the Scandalmongers Gazette that “It’s all a big money-spinning lark. We need CO2 to live and sustain life on Earth and all this greenhouse effect propaganda is a pile of old codswallop – it’s the Sun that controls climate changes – not us.”

“I hear all these Doomsday scenarios concerning ‘peak oil’ and ‘depletion phases’ and they’re all bullshit. Crude oil is ‘abiotic’ - a renewable, primordial soup being continually replenished in the Earth, under ultra-hot conditions and tremendous pressures well below the mantle, which then migrates into the geological crust where it accumulates in vast reservoirs.”
“Natural petroleum is not the result of dead, buried plants and animals subjected to immense pressure over the course of millions of years as you have been told.
The western petrochemical corporations are using the old "fossil fuel" petroleum exhaustion game to simply rape the public’s wallets.”

In conclusion, the net carbon footprint of growing crops for fuel is far higher than what is emitted from simple fossil fuel usage – derived for over a century from renewable APO (Abiotic Petroleum Origin) crude oil.
The leaked report even exposes the myth that manure-based alternative fuel sources such as methane-based Crapanol are far exceeding the previously calculated carbon emissions – and leaving an exhaust fume trail with a distinct aroma of cooked pigshit up and down Britain’s motorways and across Europe's autobahn systems.

* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No large swathes of rainforest, nor fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Thought for the day: If a bear shits in the woods will the crap turn into oil a couple of millions of years down the road?

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.