Friday, 11 March 2011

Karzai to NATO: “Seen Better Organised Riots”

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Not satisfied with being castigated by the alternative media and international jurists on every political front regarding the illegal occupation and continuing war of aggression being waged in Afghanistan against the pro-fundamentalist Islamic Taliban militia, which repeatedly results in a 100 to 1 ratio of civilians getting snuffed and maimed compared to Taliban rebels, NATO’s homicidal troopers have this week decided to up the ante in their civilian ethnic cleansing campaign, opting for the “might as well get done for a sheep as a lamb” philosophy regarding non-combatant casualties and ‘collateral damage’ such as school children – and have managed to fuck up royally by murdering President Hamid Kami-Karzai’s favourite cousin.

Muhammad Jamjar Chuckabutty, 69, was watching the Miss Sexy Burka 2011 finals on telly in the front room of his semi-detached hovel in the Al Cesspit district of Kandahar City on Thursday evening when he was shot dead in a raid being carried out by a team of gung-ho GI psychopaths from the US Army’s 21st Barbarian Regiment.

Sgt Billy Bob Redneck told one embedded reporter from the Warmongers Gazette that “When my guys banged on his door he came and opened it with what they thought was a frag’ grenade in his hand – so they blew him away. It was only after we realised it was one of them Fleshlights auto-wankin’ machines wrapped around his cock an’ he’d bin jackin’ off while watchin’ the Miss Sexy Burka contest on TV.”

US Defence Secretary Robert Gates and General ‘Dildo Dave’ Betrayus, the incompetent commander of the equally-incompetent NATO troops in Afghanistan, tasked with the simple job of guarding the Socal gas pipeline and the opium poppy crops, have both apologised for the incident – sending a “Whoops!” sorrygramme to President Kami-Karzai in Kabul - with rumours flying around on WickedLeaks that the Kenyan cuckoo squatting in the White House, President Barky O’Barmy, phoned Gen Betrayus, high in oath, demanding to know “What the fuck next?”

In light of this latest snafu and the on-going erroneous targeting of schools and hospitals by NATO’s dodgy MQ-9 Predator B drones controlled remotely by Tech Sgt Wiley T. Coyote, it is widely believed that the US-installed Afghan muppet President would insist that the neo-colonial foreign military occupation forces cease and desist from snuffing his relatives and leave the country immediately – if not sooner – apart from the fact it is only their overwhelming presence and force of arms that’s keeping him and his Kleptocracy Party government safe and in office – and enjoying all the creature comforts available to Third World corrupt administrations and dictatorial despots.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Thought for the day: Fuck the kikester Zionist ‘Project for a New American Century’ and their New World Order.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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