Friday, 18 March 2011

Labour MP Plays Dodgy Racist Card

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The Labour Party Shadow Minister for Shit-Stirring, Ms Karen Phuck, was today facing irate calls for her dismissal from the Opposition front benches after she was overheard telling gutter press hacks in the House of Conmans saloon bar that the Libservative Coalition Government "Don't want a bunch of scrounging Muslim terrorist types living in central London and impersonating Brazilian electricians".

During her extraordinary verbal assault on Posh Dave’s gang, the ginger-mingin Ms Phuck (the incumbent MP for Old Scrotum in the Home Counties) also stated for the public record that elitist Tory cabinet ministers who could trace their noble robber baron ancestries back to the time of the Norman Conquest were deeply hostile to poor people having poor children.

Ms Phuck quoted super-snob Sir Irwin Sleazebag-Mountebank – Permanent Secretary at the ‘Ministry of What Can We Fuck With Next’ (and author of the worst-selling ornithology novel ‘The Life and Times of a Soft-Boiled Egg’) as saying “Well, you can’t make bespoke furniture out of firewood” – a direct reference to unemployed scally welfare benefit parasites breeding even more mini-scrotes and Asbo-ready kids to follow faithfully in their mendicant footsteps.

Baron Hamon de Mattoid, a Conservative Party Lord, opined to one reporter from the Daily Shitraker “This blabber of Ms Phuck’s is directly reminiscent of Enoch Powell’s jingoism when he was the Tory MP for Twatford-on-the-Wold, and attempted to kick-start a race war with his xenophobic Rivers of Blood speeches in 1968.”
“Old Enoch did a Chicken Little scaremongering black propaganda act about what he foresaw as the dangers of mass immigration from Commonwealth nations – and too economic migrants from Europe if Britain was ever stupid enough to sign the Maastricht Treaty and join the EUSSR.”

“Hmmm, such a pity we took no bloody notice as he was spot-on correct on all counts too. Now we have this abysmal shambles of a multi-cultural society and the bloody immigrants simply refuse to integrate. Then we've got the Polacks and Romanian gyppos squatting here just to claim benefits and gobble up any and all jobs going - by accepting half the minimum wage – not to mention those shifty Albanian pikeys poaching all the bloody swans off the Thames at Richmond.”

Last night the Conservative Party Chairman Baroness Seedy Warthog, herself the progeny of minority Paki’ immigrant types and who sports a permanent suntan, told Pox News that Ms Phuck’s comments provided clear evidence of ‘reactionary politics being alive and well in the Labour Party’ but labelled the remarks deeply offensive and called on Ed Millipede to remove Ms Phuck from Labour's frontbench.
"For Karen Phuck, as an MP, to use race, religion and class for political point-scoring against our Conservative Party is deeply offensive and irresponsible – especially as it's so close to the truth.”

However Ms Phuck went straight into a 21 gun defensive position and informed the Gobshites Review that she stood by the substance of her remarks: "I am very concerned about the impact of these cuts on blacks, browns, off-white slants, Muslims, gyppos and pikey ethnic minority households, in particular. If these people no longer have housing benefits available to top up their rental costs then they’re simply going to go back to full time thieving to pay their way and that’s all we need – a nation-wide outbreak of criminal activity – especially so when the UK’s police forces are having their ranks forcibly emasculated - thanks to Chancellor Georgie Osborne’s draconic budget cuts.”

Ms Phuck claims that Cabbage Patch Dave’s ‘Scameronomics’ and Osborne’s planned slashing of housing benefits are politically motivated to force poor, ethnic minority and Muslim families out of the centre of London.

“The Tory hierarchy don’t want lower-income women, families, children and, above all, let us be very clear – because we also know where the impact is hitting – they don't want black women, they don't want ethnic minority women and they don't want Muslim women living in central London. Okay, political correctness aside, let’s be out with it – regardless of Posh Dave Scameron’s ‘Multicultural Britain’ and ‘Big Society’ pep talks they just don't want a bunch of darkie paupers and benefit spongers cluttering up and infesting the Metropolis’s prime property market.”

“They want the unemployed and the marginalised members of society moving out of the more upscale postal code areas into the fringes of London - into places like Barking Mad and Slumborough Hamlets and Peckham and Yardie Central.”

“The unstated truth of the matter is that the Tory elite are getting all their pointers from the cabinet office’s Behavioural Insight Team – aka the ‘Nudge Unit’ – plus the Rothshite crime syndicate controlled Tavistock Institute and the venal Fabian Society think tank eugenicists – and who are adamant that their Agenda 21 policy should be adopted so that families who earn less than £40,000 a year be barred from having children. And we all know what that equates as – Nazism – with the next step being forced sterilisations.”

“This government is one that is deeply hostile to middle and lower-income women having children. When you listen to the Tories speaking in Parliament, there is this permeating arrogance and ignorance that anyone whose income is below the top rate of tax shouldn't be permitted to bear children. Now that’s the bottom line with Scameron’s ‘Big Society’ – an excuse for the tip-toe sneaking in, and the imposition of, further Big Brother controls – and the Zionist New World Order police state.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Oh, and by the way, fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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