In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
The UK’s number one Greedy Grocer monopoly, Tesco, today faced a mass gathering of anti-nuke protesters demonstrating outside their Smegmadale-on-Sea ‘Extra’ branch – blaming the supermarket chain for irradiating Japan and most of the northern Pacific Ocean following the catastrophic fubar at the Fuckupshima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant, caused by a brown-out triggered after-effect of the devastating 8:9 earthquake and ensuing tsunami of the 11th March.
Apparently one group of scallies and yobettes had left the local Jobcentre empty-handed – as per usual - and headed for a liquid lunch at the ‘Asbo Arms’- one of the Troublespot Taverns pub chain – where over pints of Tithead Tankard the conversation pit became a hotbed of critical debate when the bar-mounted telly broadcast the mid-day news stating that ‘Tepco’ (Tokyo Electric Power Co) management now accepted total responsibility for the nuclear meltdown at the Fuckupshima power station in northern Japan.
Apparently at this point, one patron identified as Pigswill Pete, the owner and operator of ‘Pete’s Barf Burger’ butty van, accompanied by his girlfriend Feral Beryl McScrunt, started to stir up a subversive commotion at the bar, stating that ‘Tesco’ obviously wouldn’t be putting one of their ‘Finest’ labels on the Japanese snafu – at which point it was unanimously agreed by all present and correct – and still able to stand - that a ‘Save Our Planet’ type eco-protest should be staged at the Tesco Extra branch on nearby Hiroshima Street.
Cobbling together a medley of signs and placards scavenged from the recycling bins behind the pub, the motley protest crew headed off, picking up a fair arsenal of empty bottles, bricks and ripe dogshit – (and too a horde of like-minded unemployed subversives) - on their way to hurl at the supermarket’s front windows and make known their indignation and resentment with the ubiquitous Greedy Grocer for causing a nuclear accident and environmental calamity of Biblical proportions.
After the terrified store management shit kittens and sounded the alarm that they were under attack from some unidentified Islamic Jihadi terrorist group, and with the eventual arrival of a police riot squad contingent, plus a sergeant equipped with some modicum of common sense, the situation was brought under control following the arrest of the Bolshie ring-leaders, Pigswill Pete and Feral Beryl - and a bull-horn explanation that the erring nuclear operators in Japan were in fact ‘Tepco’ and not ‘Tesco’ - the marauding gang of anti-nuclear warriors returned to the Asbo Arms to quench their thirst and mull over miscreants new upon whom to target their collective displeasure.
Meanwhile, back at Honshu’s ill-fated Fuckupshima nuclear plant, the Tepco engineers responsible for the continuing atomic melt-down have been exercising their special brand of Japanese penitence – not by simply resigning over their collective incompetence - or committing ritual seppuku disembowelment with a tanto blade and then being decapitated by some obliging mate’s metre-long Samurai katana - have instead, in a display of Posh Dave Scameron’s maxim of ‘We’re all in this together’ - been hurling themselves like Scandinavian lemmings, head-first into the boiling radioactive maelstrom of the Number Three reactor’s spent fuel rod cooling pond.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Thursday, 31 March 2011
Wednesday, 30 March 2011
Teacher Stasi to Scan Student’s Phones
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Plans concocted by the Libservative Coalition’s ‘Ministry of What Can We Fuck With Next’ to allow teachers in England to search pupils for mobile phones and examine their content have been termed ‘Fascist’ and ‘Gestapoesque’ by FUCKWIT, the national teaching union.
Bazzer McTwatt, the general secretary of FUCKWIT, told one reporter from the Thought Police Gazette that the proposed powers were disproportionate to the problem and will simply create further conflict between teachers and pupils - and their parents
However the government insists the totalitarian measures will help assert the authority of teachers - and allow them to deal with lax discipline problems in schools more effectively if they are further permitted to carry steel batons and firearms.
The new ‘Education Bill for England 2011’ is designed to give the teachers a legal right to search pupils and sequester their phones – and scan the phone’s content and delete any messages and pictures they deem ‘not nice’ – such as teacher’s wives getting voluntarily gang banged by the class gigolos in Doggers Wood.
Conversely many teachers have found themselves challenged by students and beaten to death when they’ve attempted to confiscate a cell phone – with one member of staff at the St Asbo’s School for Latter Day Scallies being discovered in a bloodied state and unconscious with a BlackBerry Torch 9800 slider phone rammed up his rear passage.
This coincided with calls for tighter controls on the use of mobile phones in schools after another teacher at St Asbo’s was cleared of the attempted murder of a pupil who refused to stop texting his drug supplier during the Religious Instruction class.
The sanctimonious Minister for Education, Morton Fuctifino, a former glove puppet operator who suffers from severe learning difficulties due spending most of his formative years stuck in traffic jams on the M25, and is known to friends and associates alike as a free-range moron, informed Pox News: “The new bill will empower teaching staff to search these Ned scrotes and yobette slappers, then confiscate and dispose of electronic equipment and data that is deemed offensive or radically subversive – as inappropriate images and messages on mobile phones are often used to bully and harass both pupils and staff – and we in government remain convinced it is essential we do what we can to protect everyone from this unacceptable 'politically incorrect' behaviour."
“Hence the enforcement of this new law will serve as a step in the right direction regarding the re-establishment of a rigid structure of discipline in our schools – and send a strong message that a teacher's authority must be respected – or the offending pupil might well end up in hospital – or the mortuary.”
The FUCKWIT union’s McTwatt had further comment regarding the Minister’s opinion, stating for the public record: “Fuctifino’s talking through his arse, telling us the measures in the new ‘March Madness’ Education Bill are being sold as a means of combating cyber-bullying but in reality they’re designed to keep a beady Big Brother eye on what anti-establishment activities pupils are up to.”
This point was agreed by Ms Chlamydia Mingerot, the secretary of the National Association of Shaggable Women Teachers (NASWT), and a qualified barrack room lawyer, who told a gutter press hack from the Fascist Weekly Review: “The government’s education authorities seem to perceive cellphone use as a form of anti-social behaviour – pretty much on a par with domestic terrorism – and thus have adopted this zero-tolerance Stasi style approach they are attempting to enforce on school kids.”
“Orwell wrote 1984 to provide insights of what a Dystopian state might manifest as, but he definitely never intended it to be used as a blueprint and instruction manual – Totalitarianism for Dummies - for governments to develop and enforce.”
“Really, it’s not so much a matter of Broken Britain anymore but Buggered Up Britain. Cabbage Patch Scameron and his Libservatives are out to create total disharmony and foster rebellion, hence providing the long-awaited excuse to justify draconic policing and control powers being taken off the shelf and imposed at last.”
“They’re out to fracture and fragment the very essence of our national identity with this ‘multicultural society’ crap and create dissent - a state of extreme confusion and agitation - bringing havoc and chaos – and last resort nihilism - out of order – which will justify their Big Brother intrusive surveillance and panopticon close-circuit society to keep tabs on anyone who has an individual and original thought – especially so the radical types, capable of thinking outside the ‘herd mentality’ box and who have the balls to question the why’s and wherefor’s of our lop-sided political and class system and resort to anarchy.”
“This is what Scameron and Co have been tasked with by their Rothshite sinecurist masters – this corporate political duopoly that has allowed big business interests and Shylock banksters to dominate our government. This is the purpose of the shifty cabinet Behavioural Insight Team - the Nudge Unit – to craft the creation and maintenance of a dysfunctional society – with the wholesale subversion of the British community on the agenda – through this engineered banking collapse and false recession scam to create mass unemployment and homelessness scenarios.”
“Just the same as they’re doing throughout this mess of pottage they call the 27-state EUSSR community - and that Kenyan cuckoo in the White House is doing in the United States. They’ve been ordered to disrupt and destroy the four major collective forces - the four pillars of our human identity - Race, Religion, Family and Nation.”
“There is no official and committed strategy to combat drug addiction or binge drinking – it’s all a sham and a scam. They want the sub-cultures and anti-social behaviour and Asbo’s to thrive. Just look at past history – getting the Red Indians and Australian aborigines – and many more ethnic groups besides – hooked on liquor. Once again, exampled by the corruption of China and their society by our own British government and vested corporate interests licensed by the Crown in the time of the Raj and the Opium Wars.”
“Alas, the majority of human behaviour is motivated by self-interest and not altruism, and Scameron’s government have been coerced by dark forces to ignore the social contract and responsibilities that should form the core of their entire political strategy in what they are supplying to a trusting and vulnerable public - who are unfortunately mesmerised by what they see on the goggle box and are as thick as two short planks generally.”
“Just imagine the implications for freedom if the British public used its numerical potential and advantage to say NO to the system and ceased to cooperate with its own enslavement. This government needs to be careful, for cometh the hour, then shall cometh the man, and then they need to watch out.”
Thought for the day: It would, in an ironic twist, be comforting to think that these things are all orchestrated by a sinister shadowy cabal of ZioNazi elitists. And there can be no doubt that the rich few always do profit from all these crises. However, perhaps the truth if far less comforting and a lot more disturbing as the people at the top haven't got a clue which way is ‘up’ – and no fucker or their dog’s actually in charge of this circus without a tent.
As Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle states: “We don’t know shit from shinola”.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Plans concocted by the Libservative Coalition’s ‘Ministry of What Can We Fuck With Next’ to allow teachers in England to search pupils for mobile phones and examine their content have been termed ‘Fascist’ and ‘Gestapoesque’ by FUCKWIT, the national teaching union.
Bazzer McTwatt, the general secretary of FUCKWIT, told one reporter from the Thought Police Gazette that the proposed powers were disproportionate to the problem and will simply create further conflict between teachers and pupils - and their parents
However the government insists the totalitarian measures will help assert the authority of teachers - and allow them to deal with lax discipline problems in schools more effectively if they are further permitted to carry steel batons and firearms.
The new ‘Education Bill for England 2011’ is designed to give the teachers a legal right to search pupils and sequester their phones – and scan the phone’s content and delete any messages and pictures they deem ‘not nice’ – such as teacher’s wives getting voluntarily gang banged by the class gigolos in Doggers Wood.
Conversely many teachers have found themselves challenged by students and beaten to death when they’ve attempted to confiscate a cell phone – with one member of staff at the St Asbo’s School for Latter Day Scallies being discovered in a bloodied state and unconscious with a BlackBerry Torch 9800 slider phone rammed up his rear passage.
This coincided with calls for tighter controls on the use of mobile phones in schools after another teacher at St Asbo’s was cleared of the attempted murder of a pupil who refused to stop texting his drug supplier during the Religious Instruction class.
The sanctimonious Minister for Education, Morton Fuctifino, a former glove puppet operator who suffers from severe learning difficulties due spending most of his formative years stuck in traffic jams on the M25, and is known to friends and associates alike as a free-range moron, informed Pox News: “The new bill will empower teaching staff to search these Ned scrotes and yobette slappers, then confiscate and dispose of electronic equipment and data that is deemed offensive or radically subversive – as inappropriate images and messages on mobile phones are often used to bully and harass both pupils and staff – and we in government remain convinced it is essential we do what we can to protect everyone from this unacceptable 'politically incorrect' behaviour."
“Hence the enforcement of this new law will serve as a step in the right direction regarding the re-establishment of a rigid structure of discipline in our schools – and send a strong message that a teacher's authority must be respected – or the offending pupil might well end up in hospital – or the mortuary.”
The FUCKWIT union’s McTwatt had further comment regarding the Minister’s opinion, stating for the public record: “Fuctifino’s talking through his arse, telling us the measures in the new ‘March Madness’ Education Bill are being sold as a means of combating cyber-bullying but in reality they’re designed to keep a beady Big Brother eye on what anti-establishment activities pupils are up to.”
This point was agreed by Ms Chlamydia Mingerot, the secretary of the National Association of Shaggable Women Teachers (NASWT), and a qualified barrack room lawyer, who told a gutter press hack from the Fascist Weekly Review: “The government’s education authorities seem to perceive cellphone use as a form of anti-social behaviour – pretty much on a par with domestic terrorism – and thus have adopted this zero-tolerance Stasi style approach they are attempting to enforce on school kids.”
“Orwell wrote 1984 to provide insights of what a Dystopian state might manifest as, but he definitely never intended it to be used as a blueprint and instruction manual – Totalitarianism for Dummies - for governments to develop and enforce.”
“Really, it’s not so much a matter of Broken Britain anymore but Buggered Up Britain. Cabbage Patch Scameron and his Libservatives are out to create total disharmony and foster rebellion, hence providing the long-awaited excuse to justify draconic policing and control powers being taken off the shelf and imposed at last.”
“They’re out to fracture and fragment the very essence of our national identity with this ‘multicultural society’ crap and create dissent - a state of extreme confusion and agitation - bringing havoc and chaos – and last resort nihilism - out of order – which will justify their Big Brother intrusive surveillance and panopticon close-circuit society to keep tabs on anyone who has an individual and original thought – especially so the radical types, capable of thinking outside the ‘herd mentality’ box and who have the balls to question the why’s and wherefor’s of our lop-sided political and class system and resort to anarchy.”
“This is what Scameron and Co have been tasked with by their Rothshite sinecurist masters – this corporate political duopoly that has allowed big business interests and Shylock banksters to dominate our government. This is the purpose of the shifty cabinet Behavioural Insight Team - the Nudge Unit – to craft the creation and maintenance of a dysfunctional society – with the wholesale subversion of the British community on the agenda – through this engineered banking collapse and false recession scam to create mass unemployment and homelessness scenarios.”
“Just the same as they’re doing throughout this mess of pottage they call the 27-state EUSSR community - and that Kenyan cuckoo in the White House is doing in the United States. They’ve been ordered to disrupt and destroy the four major collective forces - the four pillars of our human identity - Race, Religion, Family and Nation.”
“There is no official and committed strategy to combat drug addiction or binge drinking – it’s all a sham and a scam. They want the sub-cultures and anti-social behaviour and Asbo’s to thrive. Just look at past history – getting the Red Indians and Australian aborigines – and many more ethnic groups besides – hooked on liquor. Once again, exampled by the corruption of China and their society by our own British government and vested corporate interests licensed by the Crown in the time of the Raj and the Opium Wars.”
“Alas, the majority of human behaviour is motivated by self-interest and not altruism, and Scameron’s government have been coerced by dark forces to ignore the social contract and responsibilities that should form the core of their entire political strategy in what they are supplying to a trusting and vulnerable public - who are unfortunately mesmerised by what they see on the goggle box and are as thick as two short planks generally.”
“Just imagine the implications for freedom if the British public used its numerical potential and advantage to say NO to the system and ceased to cooperate with its own enslavement. This government needs to be careful, for cometh the hour, then shall cometh the man, and then they need to watch out.”
Thought for the day: It would, in an ironic twist, be comforting to think that these things are all orchestrated by a sinister shadowy cabal of ZioNazi elitists. And there can be no doubt that the rich few always do profit from all these crises. However, perhaps the truth if far less comforting and a lot more disturbing as the people at the top haven't got a clue which way is ‘up’ – and no fucker or their dog’s actually in charge of this circus without a tent.
As Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle states: “We don’t know shit from shinola”.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Tuesday, 29 March 2011
Royal Wedding Invites – Buy 1 Get 1 Free
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
In an effort to get a few bob together to pay for this April’s imminent right royal wedding bash for Prince Willy and Kate Middleclass now that the Libservative Coalition’s cheap Charlie Chancellor Georgie Osborne has cut the life blood out of public spending – especially so on the useless nobility and other associated parasitic life forms, the Queen and Philip have been flogging invitations to attend the Westminster Abbey ceremony through eBay auctions - with offers of ‘Three for the Price of Two’ for ringside seats remitted through Paypal and a ‘Buy One get One Free’ deal if paying in cash and picking invites up personally from Liz & Phil’s Herne Hill-based Souvlaki Kebab Grill at Brixton's Yardie Central.
To totally recoup the costs, a DVD rip recording is planned of the wedding night nuptial coupling(s) for ‘onanist’ consumption and is contracted to be broadcast on YouTube live from where the conjugal ‘bonding’ action takes place (Happy Ending Motel, Brighton) – with a full cacophony of genuine sound effects - grunts, moans, groans, pussy farts, bed head hitting the wall like a fiddler’s elbow playing the Flight of the Bumblebee and “OMG, that’s my arse!” screams – all wholly uncensored.
A copycat / counterfeit ‘Brown-Windsor-Leeches’ eBay page has now been removed following complaints from customers leaving negative feedback that the offered sale of Kate Middleclass used panties was a sham and the crotch had been rubbed with a dead mackerel – and untouched by her ‘celestial’ virgin (sic) minge.
The full contingent of 1900 sit-down guests have now been ‘allocated’ invites to the wedding ceremony at Westminster Abbey on April 29th. Roughly 600 more will join the lunch reception hosted by the Queen and her choleric Greek spouse Philip in the private dining area of Jack’s Chippy on Fleet Street – with a tight coterie of only 300 close family and friends attending the evening dinner and dance hosted by Wills’ Dad: Prince Chazzer and Gorgonzilla, the chain-smoking Duchess of Cornhole, at the Reefer & Hemp Club in Soho.
A ‘Bracelet of Steel’ circle of tight security to guard the occasion has been contracted out to a gang of Libyan shepherd boys who recently proved their mettle and martial worth by capturing a highly embarrassed contingent of MI6 agents and 22nd SAS Regiment troopers at a Benghazi oasis a couple of weeks ago. They’ll be tasked with prohibiting the entry of a predicted horde of gate crashers – such as the disaffected mini-Hobbit mental midget troll French Premier Nicky Sarkozy and other assorted packrats like the kiddie-fiddling Italian stallion PM Silvio Corruptioni – and especially the influence-peddling Fat Fergie of York.
As Willy isn’t next in line to the throne and has to work for a living like the rest of the proletariat inhabitants of our green and pleasant isle – (currently washing sea rescue choppers at RAF Valley on Anglesey) - no politically-elected heads of state have been invited – which has apparently got the super-slapper socially-ambitious US First Lady Michelle O’Barmy going nuts and howling invectives concerning ‘ racist snubs’: “Dem honky royal shits don’t want no nigga-in-de-woodpile cuckoos from Kenya – dat’s de reason!”
Actually included on the rich n shameless invite list will be the usual gamut of public school Hooray Henry faggots and Galloping Godfreys – with the Royal Box contingent at Westminster Abbey wholly conspicuous by the fact their elitist clans of mutant misfit gorps, complete with every physical and psychological defect known to medical science, have been swimming at the shallow end of the European gene pool for millenniums – hence their prognathous jaws and fucked up dentistry, caused by generations of negative inbreeding that’s equipped them to eat an apple through a chicken wire fence.
So, who is attending? UK Prime Minister Posh Dave Scameron, Deputy Prime Minister Mick Clogg, Labour Party leader Ed Millipede – and London Mayor Bonkers Boris Nonsense – on the proviso he gets a proper haircut.
Prince William’s old girlfriends Fellattia van der Gamm (Miss Marmite 2004) and Olivia Titwank will be there to seethe with jealousy – and perhaps join in a raunchy cluster-fuck later at the Happy Ending Motel in Brighton. Unsubstantiated rumour has it that Kate Middleclass’s ex-boyfriend Rupert Fuctifino from St. Andrews – he with the self-harming and erection / Viagra addiction problems - may yet be attending the reception – in the company of his therapist to ensure he doesn’t try to sneak in a bag of Poundland box cutters and make a bloody spectacle of himself.
Other than members of Will’s Hash House Harriers mates – and his pisshead brother – the ginger-mingin Harry - around forty foreign crowned heads have been invited.
Among them are Ghaban ibn Himar, the King of Jordan; Liwat Manuke Khara, the Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi; Umak Sharmuta, the Sultan of Oman; Buttplug Bolkiah, the Sultan of Brunei; and Crown Prince Istimna ibn Zamel, of Saudi Arabia; as well as the all-new glow in the dark radioactive Emperor of Japan: Plutonium the First.
Mahmoud Iskandar, the Malaysian Sultan of Johore had been invited on the proviso he took his medication, stayed off the grog and promised not to beat any golf caddies to death. Unfortunately the royal equerry later reporter his Regal Barbarity died in 2010, which luckily loosed up another vacant invitation for auction on e-Bay
The 35-stone King of Tonga – Attila the Fat – has been invited on the understanding he doesn’t repeat his pig trough performance displayed at Chazzer and Diana’s wedding – and keeps his sticky voracious paws out of the finger snacks and sherry trifle until the starter’s pistol has been fired for first rush at the buffet.
Apparently the ruler of Bahrain, Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer, has had to decline his wedding invitation due being fully occupied for the coming months massacring pro-democracy demonstrators with the help of Saudi Arabia’s 21st Gingham Tea Towel Brigade mercenary thugs, supplied by King Abdullah the Gross.
Kate’s disgraced uncle, Gary Goldshit, has been invited to the wedding ceremony only as it is feared it might be a case of counting the tea spoons if he turned up at the reception. Also, Prince Wills’ Uncle Andrew caught a gobful off the Queen when he rang up inquiring about the late delivery of his invitation – only to cop an earful concerning his dodgy business connections with foreign despots and heathen pisspots.
Royal wedding present list: Please tick one – or more – items below and add your credit card or Swiss bank sort code and account number.
Private jet – Gulfstream VI / Dassault Falcon 900 DX type.
Executive helicopter – Aerospatiale AS355 Twin Squirrel with white zebra skin seats.
His n Hers Aston Martin ‘Vanquish’ – with 4 x 4 option.
Perini-Navi 125-foot luxury yacht.
Secluded Caribbean island.
1,000 hectare Stag / Grouse moor – Southern Highlands - preferably with lodge.
Manor house - small to medium – or renovated castle – Home Counties area.
Chesterfield oak and leather style practice / trainer throne.
Indentured servants – preferably Asian with vaccination certificates / visas.
Directorships of blue chip companies – preferably Fortune 100.
Lifetime membership ‘Free Pass’ for Blockbuster Video.
NB: No tea towels, Pyrex oven-proof dish sets, Pound Stretcher ceramics, pre-Columbian Tupperware, DIY wind turbines, Venomous Vixen crotchless panties, Grigio Perla budgie smugglers or Argos vouchers, thank you.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
In an effort to get a few bob together to pay for this April’s imminent right royal wedding bash for Prince Willy and Kate Middleclass now that the Libservative Coalition’s cheap Charlie Chancellor Georgie Osborne has cut the life blood out of public spending – especially so on the useless nobility and other associated parasitic life forms, the Queen and Philip have been flogging invitations to attend the Westminster Abbey ceremony through eBay auctions - with offers of ‘Three for the Price of Two’ for ringside seats remitted through Paypal and a ‘Buy One get One Free’ deal if paying in cash and picking invites up personally from Liz & Phil’s Herne Hill-based Souvlaki Kebab Grill at Brixton's Yardie Central.
To totally recoup the costs, a DVD rip recording is planned of the wedding night nuptial coupling(s) for ‘onanist’ consumption and is contracted to be broadcast on YouTube live from where the conjugal ‘bonding’ action takes place (Happy Ending Motel, Brighton) – with a full cacophony of genuine sound effects - grunts, moans, groans, pussy farts, bed head hitting the wall like a fiddler’s elbow playing the Flight of the Bumblebee and “OMG, that’s my arse!” screams – all wholly uncensored.
A copycat / counterfeit ‘Brown-Windsor-Leeches’ eBay page has now been removed following complaints from customers leaving negative feedback that the offered sale of Kate Middleclass used panties was a sham and the crotch had been rubbed with a dead mackerel – and untouched by her ‘celestial’ virgin (sic) minge.
The full contingent of 1900 sit-down guests have now been ‘allocated’ invites to the wedding ceremony at Westminster Abbey on April 29th. Roughly 600 more will join the lunch reception hosted by the Queen and her choleric Greek spouse Philip in the private dining area of Jack’s Chippy on Fleet Street – with a tight coterie of only 300 close family and friends attending the evening dinner and dance hosted by Wills’ Dad: Prince Chazzer and Gorgonzilla, the chain-smoking Duchess of Cornhole, at the Reefer & Hemp Club in Soho.
A ‘Bracelet of Steel’ circle of tight security to guard the occasion has been contracted out to a gang of Libyan shepherd boys who recently proved their mettle and martial worth by capturing a highly embarrassed contingent of MI6 agents and 22nd SAS Regiment troopers at a Benghazi oasis a couple of weeks ago. They’ll be tasked with prohibiting the entry of a predicted horde of gate crashers – such as the disaffected mini-Hobbit mental midget troll French Premier Nicky Sarkozy and other assorted packrats like the kiddie-fiddling Italian stallion PM Silvio Corruptioni – and especially the influence-peddling Fat Fergie of York.
As Willy isn’t next in line to the throne and has to work for a living like the rest of the proletariat inhabitants of our green and pleasant isle – (currently washing sea rescue choppers at RAF Valley on Anglesey) - no politically-elected heads of state have been invited – which has apparently got the super-slapper socially-ambitious US First Lady Michelle O’Barmy going nuts and howling invectives concerning ‘ racist snubs’: “Dem honky royal shits don’t want no nigga-in-de-woodpile cuckoos from Kenya – dat’s de reason!”
Actually included on the rich n shameless invite list will be the usual gamut of public school Hooray Henry faggots and Galloping Godfreys – with the Royal Box contingent at Westminster Abbey wholly conspicuous by the fact their elitist clans of mutant misfit gorps, complete with every physical and psychological defect known to medical science, have been swimming at the shallow end of the European gene pool for millenniums – hence their prognathous jaws and fucked up dentistry, caused by generations of negative inbreeding that’s equipped them to eat an apple through a chicken wire fence.
So, who is attending? UK Prime Minister Posh Dave Scameron, Deputy Prime Minister Mick Clogg, Labour Party leader Ed Millipede – and London Mayor Bonkers Boris Nonsense – on the proviso he gets a proper haircut.
Prince William’s old girlfriends Fellattia van der Gamm (Miss Marmite 2004) and Olivia Titwank will be there to seethe with jealousy – and perhaps join in a raunchy cluster-fuck later at the Happy Ending Motel in Brighton. Unsubstantiated rumour has it that Kate Middleclass’s ex-boyfriend Rupert Fuctifino from St. Andrews – he with the self-harming and erection / Viagra addiction problems - may yet be attending the reception – in the company of his therapist to ensure he doesn’t try to sneak in a bag of Poundland box cutters and make a bloody spectacle of himself.
Other than members of Will’s Hash House Harriers mates – and his pisshead brother – the ginger-mingin Harry - around forty foreign crowned heads have been invited.
Among them are Ghaban ibn Himar, the King of Jordan; Liwat Manuke Khara, the Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi; Umak Sharmuta, the Sultan of Oman; Buttplug Bolkiah, the Sultan of Brunei; and Crown Prince Istimna ibn Zamel, of Saudi Arabia; as well as the all-new glow in the dark radioactive Emperor of Japan: Plutonium the First.
Mahmoud Iskandar, the Malaysian Sultan of Johore had been invited on the proviso he took his medication, stayed off the grog and promised not to beat any golf caddies to death. Unfortunately the royal equerry later reporter his Regal Barbarity died in 2010, which luckily loosed up another vacant invitation for auction on e-Bay
The 35-stone King of Tonga – Attila the Fat – has been invited on the understanding he doesn’t repeat his pig trough performance displayed at Chazzer and Diana’s wedding – and keeps his sticky voracious paws out of the finger snacks and sherry trifle until the starter’s pistol has been fired for first rush at the buffet.
Apparently the ruler of Bahrain, Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer, has had to decline his wedding invitation due being fully occupied for the coming months massacring pro-democracy demonstrators with the help of Saudi Arabia’s 21st Gingham Tea Towel Brigade mercenary thugs, supplied by King Abdullah the Gross.
Kate’s disgraced uncle, Gary Goldshit, has been invited to the wedding ceremony only as it is feared it might be a case of counting the tea spoons if he turned up at the reception. Also, Prince Wills’ Uncle Andrew caught a gobful off the Queen when he rang up inquiring about the late delivery of his invitation – only to cop an earful concerning his dodgy business connections with foreign despots and heathen pisspots.
Royal wedding present list: Please tick one – or more – items below and add your credit card or Swiss bank sort code and account number.
Private jet – Gulfstream VI / Dassault Falcon 900 DX type.
Executive helicopter – Aerospatiale AS355 Twin Squirrel with white zebra skin seats.
His n Hers Aston Martin ‘Vanquish’ – with 4 x 4 option.
Perini-Navi 125-foot luxury yacht.
Secluded Caribbean island.
1,000 hectare Stag / Grouse moor – Southern Highlands - preferably with lodge.
Manor house - small to medium – or renovated castle – Home Counties area.
Chesterfield oak and leather style practice / trainer throne.
Indentured servants – preferably Asian with vaccination certificates / visas.
Directorships of blue chip companies – preferably Fortune 100.
Lifetime membership ‘Free Pass’ for Blockbuster Video.
NB: No tea towels, Pyrex oven-proof dish sets, Pound Stretcher ceramics, pre-Columbian Tupperware, DIY wind turbines, Venomous Vixen crotchless panties, Grigio Perla budgie smugglers or Argos vouchers, thank you.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Monday, 28 March 2011
Israelis Re-Capitalise the ‘N’ in Nazis
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Okay, we all know who put the T in Britain and have a pretty good idea who slipped the word CUNT into Scunthorpe. Lenin, Stalin and Trotsky are jointly credited with capitalising the B in Bolshevik, and the Franco-Hitler limited partnership are globally recognised for their responsibility in capitalising the F in Fascist.
So who is the guilty party culpable for magnifying the N in Nazi after the Germans gave it the redundancy elbow in 1945? Why, none other than the Israel-based Rothshite crime syndicate - the very same shmoks who explicated the Z in Zionism.
Now, here’s the riddle, the conundrum: When is a Nazi not a Nazi? Easy-peasy, really, but keep it all hush-hush and up close and personal - “When it’s an Israeli” – cos any criticism of God’s ‘Chosen People’ – especially for stealing Palestine off the rightful Arab Semite inhabitants - is as verboten as a pig’s foreskin in a synagogue – or cooked up with the Rabbi’s matzo.
Regardless of the stock accusation of anti-Semitism for directing censure or disapprobation of any type at Israel and its Ashkenazi criminals running the Knesset - and the homicidal psychopaths in charge if the IDF's 'Half Cock Brigade' - it all comes down to the mystic mallard metaphor: if it has a beak, webbed feet and quacks there’s a fucking good chance it’s a duck.
So too with Nazis: if they usurp another people’s lands, expedite ethic cleansing / slow-cook genocide campaigns against those persons, besiege them behind 30 foot high 'apartheid' walls in the biggest concentration camps on the planet – then kidnap their youths as black market organ transplant donors – and use Muslim political prisoners for medical experiments – there’s a good chance they’re Nazis.
To emphasise the veracity of this dialectic thesis, the nutty Knesset’s ruling Ashkenazi Jews of convenience, not one of which has a single Semitic gene in their Khazar DNA – and definitely no trace of the Sephardic bloodline, this week passed yet another of their vile apartheid-rich draconic segregation bills.
From this day forth, until the end of time, if not longer, Palestinian Israelis are barred from living in Jewish localities built on land confiscated from them – with government regulation further ensuring they cannot build on the scant areas of private land that remains in their ownership.
In a session that burned the midnight oils, the Knesset passed the new law which mandates communities of up to 400 members in the Negev and Galilee to form apartheid ‘acceptance committees’, headed by die-hard ***Jabotinskyists that will be tasked with screening candidates who wish to live in their locality, on the basis of various parameters, including vague wording relating to social and cultural compatibility – such as the ultra-conspicuous ‘No Palestinians or Muslims!’. Hmmm, if it ain’t kosher then it’s not in the brochure.
While Israeli law (sic) nominally forbids discrimination on the basis of race, gender or religion, its effect and intent is to segregate and marginalise the goyim Palestinians – a policy that is not only grossly unjust but also unsustainable – even after a sixty-odd year trial run. Alas, there are no safeguards against the follies of human nature.
To go hand in hand with this act of infamy and affront to the Palestinian’s remaining vestiges of dignity and further add insult to injury, the same Knesset session has now legislated a ban on the commemoration of the Palestinian Nakba Day.
For those uninitiated into the realms of man’s inhumanity to his fellow man, and too for Zionist kikesters who suffer from selective memories, the ‘Yawm an-Nakbah’ translates as "Day of the Catastrophe" and is the annual commemoration for the Palestinian people of the anniversary of the creation of Israel and the theft of their sovereign lands.
It is held every May 15th, the day after the anniversary of Israel's Independence according to the Gregorian calendar, and the day marks the forced military expulsions and flight of Palestinians from their towns and villages in the face of Zionist kikester aggression by the Rothshite crime syndicate and later Israeli troop advances - and their displacement from Palestine, and subsequent loss of their property to the Shylocks and their shills.
The anti-Nakba commemoration bill has been reworked since its proposal in May 2009. Originally the bill mandated a three-year prison sentence for anyone daring to mourn their dead, lost during the Nakba. Now it imposes a fine on any group or authority that hosts an event even daring to acknowledge the Palestinian Nakba.
Hmmm, so much for the Jewish sense fair play and literal cognisance of duplicity, double standards and gross hypocrisy. How about a gagging order slapped on the Israeli Jews harping on about Auschwitz and the scores of other Nazi internment camps – then turn the tables and impose a ban on the annual celebration of their International Holohoax Remembrance Day on the 27th of January.
If the ultra-Zionist Knesset and IDF military now comprising the despotic Israel regime maintain that Palestine is now a Jewish state, then Jews not only in Israel but globally should hang their heads in shame, for all are culpable of a sinister silence concerning their keeping schtum over the defiance of international law and United Nations directives concerning the barbaric treatment of the Palestinian population – and the horrific racist and sectarian violations and crimes against humanity visited on them daily by these same Jews who perpetually whinge and complain of the Holohoax and identical crimes committed against them by the Hitler era Nazis.
Further, if the half-awake and cognisant segments of the global population of ‘goyim’ Gentiles wish to declare and publicize their sense of disapprobation and outrage at the treatment of the marginalised Palestinian peoples under the Zionist jackboot then it’s time to enact an embargo and boycott all Israeli produce and merchandise if the Knesset refuse to behave like responsible members of polite and civilised society and heed the niceties and strictures of international law.
Thought for the Knesset’s racist kikesters to dwell upon: “Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them”. Deuteronomy 4:9
***(From Vladimir Ze’ev Jabotinsky – aka Jabot the Hutt – progenitor of the Israeli Iron Wall doctrine – a Russian Khazar racist who gained notoriety for smoking hash in the camps of the Hashemites)
Allergy warning: This article was written in a nutty Nazi-infested area and may contain traces of fascist lunacy and Holohoax exaggeration.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Okay, we all know who put the T in Britain and have a pretty good idea who slipped the word CUNT into Scunthorpe. Lenin, Stalin and Trotsky are jointly credited with capitalising the B in Bolshevik, and the Franco-Hitler limited partnership are globally recognised for their responsibility in capitalising the F in Fascist.
So who is the guilty party culpable for magnifying the N in Nazi after the Germans gave it the redundancy elbow in 1945? Why, none other than the Israel-based Rothshite crime syndicate - the very same shmoks who explicated the Z in Zionism.
Now, here’s the riddle, the conundrum: When is a Nazi not a Nazi? Easy-peasy, really, but keep it all hush-hush and up close and personal - “When it’s an Israeli” – cos any criticism of God’s ‘Chosen People’ – especially for stealing Palestine off the rightful Arab Semite inhabitants - is as verboten as a pig’s foreskin in a synagogue – or cooked up with the Rabbi’s matzo.
Regardless of the stock accusation of anti-Semitism for directing censure or disapprobation of any type at Israel and its Ashkenazi criminals running the Knesset - and the homicidal psychopaths in charge if the IDF's 'Half Cock Brigade' - it all comes down to the mystic mallard metaphor: if it has a beak, webbed feet and quacks there’s a fucking good chance it’s a duck.
So too with Nazis: if they usurp another people’s lands, expedite ethic cleansing / slow-cook genocide campaigns against those persons, besiege them behind 30 foot high 'apartheid' walls in the biggest concentration camps on the planet – then kidnap their youths as black market organ transplant donors – and use Muslim political prisoners for medical experiments – there’s a good chance they’re Nazis.
To emphasise the veracity of this dialectic thesis, the nutty Knesset’s ruling Ashkenazi Jews of convenience, not one of which has a single Semitic gene in their Khazar DNA – and definitely no trace of the Sephardic bloodline, this week passed yet another of their vile apartheid-rich draconic segregation bills.
From this day forth, until the end of time, if not longer, Palestinian Israelis are barred from living in Jewish localities built on land confiscated from them – with government regulation further ensuring they cannot build on the scant areas of private land that remains in their ownership.
In a session that burned the midnight oils, the Knesset passed the new law which mandates communities of up to 400 members in the Negev and Galilee to form apartheid ‘acceptance committees’, headed by die-hard ***Jabotinskyists that will be tasked with screening candidates who wish to live in their locality, on the basis of various parameters, including vague wording relating to social and cultural compatibility – such as the ultra-conspicuous ‘No Palestinians or Muslims!’. Hmmm, if it ain’t kosher then it’s not in the brochure.
While Israeli law (sic) nominally forbids discrimination on the basis of race, gender or religion, its effect and intent is to segregate and marginalise the goyim Palestinians – a policy that is not only grossly unjust but also unsustainable – even after a sixty-odd year trial run. Alas, there are no safeguards against the follies of human nature.
To go hand in hand with this act of infamy and affront to the Palestinian’s remaining vestiges of dignity and further add insult to injury, the same Knesset session has now legislated a ban on the commemoration of the Palestinian Nakba Day.
For those uninitiated into the realms of man’s inhumanity to his fellow man, and too for Zionist kikesters who suffer from selective memories, the ‘Yawm an-Nakbah’ translates as "Day of the Catastrophe" and is the annual commemoration for the Palestinian people of the anniversary of the creation of Israel and the theft of their sovereign lands.
It is held every May 15th, the day after the anniversary of Israel's Independence according to the Gregorian calendar, and the day marks the forced military expulsions and flight of Palestinians from their towns and villages in the face of Zionist kikester aggression by the Rothshite crime syndicate and later Israeli troop advances - and their displacement from Palestine, and subsequent loss of their property to the Shylocks and their shills.
The anti-Nakba commemoration bill has been reworked since its proposal in May 2009. Originally the bill mandated a three-year prison sentence for anyone daring to mourn their dead, lost during the Nakba. Now it imposes a fine on any group or authority that hosts an event even daring to acknowledge the Palestinian Nakba.
Hmmm, so much for the Jewish sense fair play and literal cognisance of duplicity, double standards and gross hypocrisy. How about a gagging order slapped on the Israeli Jews harping on about Auschwitz and the scores of other Nazi internment camps – then turn the tables and impose a ban on the annual celebration of their International Holohoax Remembrance Day on the 27th of January.
If the ultra-Zionist Knesset and IDF military now comprising the despotic Israel regime maintain that Palestine is now a Jewish state, then Jews not only in Israel but globally should hang their heads in shame, for all are culpable of a sinister silence concerning their keeping schtum over the defiance of international law and United Nations directives concerning the barbaric treatment of the Palestinian population – and the horrific racist and sectarian violations and crimes against humanity visited on them daily by these same Jews who perpetually whinge and complain of the Holohoax and identical crimes committed against them by the Hitler era Nazis.
Further, if the half-awake and cognisant segments of the global population of ‘goyim’ Gentiles wish to declare and publicize their sense of disapprobation and outrage at the treatment of the marginalised Palestinian peoples under the Zionist jackboot then it’s time to enact an embargo and boycott all Israeli produce and merchandise if the Knesset refuse to behave like responsible members of polite and civilised society and heed the niceties and strictures of international law.
Thought for the Knesset’s racist kikesters to dwell upon: “Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them”. Deuteronomy 4:9
***(From Vladimir Ze’ev Jabotinsky – aka Jabot the Hutt – progenitor of the Israeli Iron Wall doctrine – a Russian Khazar racist who gained notoriety for smoking hash in the camps of the Hashemites)
Allergy warning: This article was written in a nutty Nazi-infested area and may contain traces of fascist lunacy and Holohoax exaggeration.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Sunday, 27 March 2011
RattleTrack Contrive Non-Liability Scam
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Resorting to the ultimate in Orwellian newspeak, British rail firms led by the absurd and unfit for purpose RattleTrack, are employing hundreds of staff whose only job is to find excuses to dodge responsibility and avoid paying out delay compensation to commuters adversely affected by the company’s shithouse services.
Train operators, which include RattleTrack, National Snail-Rail, Virgin Trains, Whore Liners, Non-Arriva Wales, First Crapital Connect, Southern Derailment, Ferret Express and Nutwork Rail, are in the process of hiring 300 'Delay Attribution Officers’ to avoid paying any and all forms of compensation to the perennially inconvenienced public traveller by simply laying the blame for late trains – or no trains – on some other hapless fucker and their dog – and hopefully on the actual commuters themselves by inferring the onus lies on their shoulders due the fact they didn’t exercise their democratic and common sense option to go by bus.
When delays do occur - which are a given daily manifestation since British Rail got it in the neck from the porcine Dr Beeching and the entire UK rail network was turned over to the clutches of profit-first privatised incompetents - the Delay Attribution Officers are to be tasked with finding someone other than their employer to hold liable, and thereby avoid paying compensation. The bean counters estimate this method - aided by scumbag lawyers working alongside the DAOs – will deprive affected commuters of millions of pounds in delay repayments annually – and thus boost already bloated profits for the fat cat CEO’s running the already-subsidised ‘circus without a tent’ corporate calamities.
According to the latest figures leaked to Ox-Rat, the international snitch and grassers watchdog charity, the sponging train firms received a total of £450 zillion quid in subsidies from the hapless taxpayer in 2010. However, Ox-Rat further revealed that the DAOs are merely a singular method the rail service companies resort to when dodging their legal and contractual obligations – with the main evasive trick achieved by averaging the punctuality figures for their entire operation via concealing the regular under-performance of one service on other routes.
Another dodge is the top secret ‘working timetable’, which allows trains a window of arrival, in which they are actually late but can be considered to be technically on time. Que – WTF? you might well comment – however long distance trains can arrive ten minutes after their schedule timetable and yet still be on time for the purposes of compensation – with shorter distance trains claiming a five-minute window. So the ‘working timetable’ racket is actually a disingenuous term for a spot of perfidious lying through their teeth and ‘cheating’.
A further tactic is the method for tallying late trains wherein a train is only counted as late if it arrives at its final destination beyond this window – late arrivals at intervening stops do not count – much to the anger of commuter groups.
The Daily Shitraker recently revealed that thousands of affected commuters were denied payouts by First Crap Connect after it passed its punctuality targets by a wafer-thin mathematically absurd margin of 0.000002 %.
Prior to the delusional disclosure, the service provider - which operates some of the shabbiest passenger coaches in the country - had announced the biggest fare rises for the 2010-2011 period.
When global warming went tits up just before Christmas and the next Ice Age made its presence felt, scores of RattleTrack passengers were forced to spend the night on a train after its locomotive engine’s cooling system froze up due a lack of anti-freeze, prompting industry regulators and rail users alike to comment that they’d seen better organised riots.
Ms Beverly Titwank, RattleTrack’s spokeswoman, informed one reporter from the Choo-Choo Review that the firm had compensated passengers with spray cans of de-icer and sent ‘Get Well Soon’ cards to all those who lost fingers and toes to frostbite – or the surviving relatives of any who ended up resembling Otzi the Iceman.
For the edification of the UK’s marginalised unemployed, RattleTrack’s website job advertisement for Delay Attribution Officers reads ‘Applicants must have the proven ability to keep a straight face, possess a stifled conscience, be a good liar and totally devoid of moral scruples. Post would suit career criminal - such as out-of-work banker or MP.’
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Resorting to the ultimate in Orwellian newspeak, British rail firms led by the absurd and unfit for purpose RattleTrack, are employing hundreds of staff whose only job is to find excuses to dodge responsibility and avoid paying out delay compensation to commuters adversely affected by the company’s shithouse services.
Train operators, which include RattleTrack, National Snail-Rail, Virgin Trains, Whore Liners, Non-Arriva Wales, First Crapital Connect, Southern Derailment, Ferret Express and Nutwork Rail, are in the process of hiring 300 'Delay Attribution Officers’ to avoid paying any and all forms of compensation to the perennially inconvenienced public traveller by simply laying the blame for late trains – or no trains – on some other hapless fucker and their dog – and hopefully on the actual commuters themselves by inferring the onus lies on their shoulders due the fact they didn’t exercise their democratic and common sense option to go by bus.
When delays do occur - which are a given daily manifestation since British Rail got it in the neck from the porcine Dr Beeching and the entire UK rail network was turned over to the clutches of profit-first privatised incompetents - the Delay Attribution Officers are to be tasked with finding someone other than their employer to hold liable, and thereby avoid paying compensation. The bean counters estimate this method - aided by scumbag lawyers working alongside the DAOs – will deprive affected commuters of millions of pounds in delay repayments annually – and thus boost already bloated profits for the fat cat CEO’s running the already-subsidised ‘circus without a tent’ corporate calamities.
According to the latest figures leaked to Ox-Rat, the international snitch and grassers watchdog charity, the sponging train firms received a total of £450 zillion quid in subsidies from the hapless taxpayer in 2010. However, Ox-Rat further revealed that the DAOs are merely a singular method the rail service companies resort to when dodging their legal and contractual obligations – with the main evasive trick achieved by averaging the punctuality figures for their entire operation via concealing the regular under-performance of one service on other routes.
Another dodge is the top secret ‘working timetable’, which allows trains a window of arrival, in which they are actually late but can be considered to be technically on time. Que – WTF? you might well comment – however long distance trains can arrive ten minutes after their schedule timetable and yet still be on time for the purposes of compensation – with shorter distance trains claiming a five-minute window. So the ‘working timetable’ racket is actually a disingenuous term for a spot of perfidious lying through their teeth and ‘cheating’.
A further tactic is the method for tallying late trains wherein a train is only counted as late if it arrives at its final destination beyond this window – late arrivals at intervening stops do not count – much to the anger of commuter groups.
The Daily Shitraker recently revealed that thousands of affected commuters were denied payouts by First Crap Connect after it passed its punctuality targets by a wafer-thin mathematically absurd margin of 0.000002 %.
Prior to the delusional disclosure, the service provider - which operates some of the shabbiest passenger coaches in the country - had announced the biggest fare rises for the 2010-2011 period.
When global warming went tits up just before Christmas and the next Ice Age made its presence felt, scores of RattleTrack passengers were forced to spend the night on a train after its locomotive engine’s cooling system froze up due a lack of anti-freeze, prompting industry regulators and rail users alike to comment that they’d seen better organised riots.
Ms Beverly Titwank, RattleTrack’s spokeswoman, informed one reporter from the Choo-Choo Review that the firm had compensated passengers with spray cans of de-icer and sent ‘Get Well Soon’ cards to all those who lost fingers and toes to frostbite – or the surviving relatives of any who ended up resembling Otzi the Iceman.
For the edification of the UK’s marginalised unemployed, RattleTrack’s website job advertisement for Delay Attribution Officers reads ‘Applicants must have the proven ability to keep a straight face, possess a stifled conscience, be a good liar and totally devoid of moral scruples. Post would suit career criminal - such as out-of-work banker or MP.’
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Saturday, 26 March 2011
Maths Predicts God Redundant by 2012
In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Not satisfied with kick-starting the devastating down-under January floods in Queensland, earthquakes in NZ, then the follow-on mega-magnitude Richter scale earth-shaker and resulting tsunami - plus nuclear meltdown - in Japan’s Fuckupshima Province by fiddling around trying to fine tune their HAARP arrays and the CERN Hadron particle collider, the numpty ranks of anoraks and beardies with more degrees than a thermometer have now begun to apply nonlinear dynamic mathematics to shag around with scientific creationism and celestial destiny - and predict that God will be out of a job by 2012.
This divine redundancy of the Ruler of Heaven and Earth will apparently occur prior to the forecast 23rd December Great Rapture (Mayan calendar) when humanity, en masse, is supposed to transcend mortal consciousness and rise up to that great Wetherspoons in the sky – where booze is all duty-free and topless barmaids serve Old Headbanger Special Brew and Bitch Thumper lager 24/7 – along with freebie bowls of halal pork scratchings.
A research study undertaken by a team of self-appointed post-graduate theological genius mathematicians and bean-counters at the Geneva-based ‘Institute of What Can We Fuck With Next’, have utilized historical census data from around the globe – some of which dates back to the time of Herod the Nasty - to create a mathematical model which accounts for the ontological interplay between the number of religious respondents and the social motives behind being one – with self-harming Islamic Jihadi suicide vest bomb martyrs being wholly excluded.
Invoking the principles of nonlinear dynamics to explain a wide range of physical phenomena in which a number of factors play a part Рincluding crystal ball scrying, tealeaf readings, Ouija boards, a Hindu bleaching of the bones ceremony Рand input via s̩ance from the ghostly spirit of Paul, the psychic octopus, the barmy boffin researchers claim the study Рby adjusting parameters for the relative social and utilitarian merits of membership of the non-religious category of society - cracked some Scotch mist digital cipher and proved theoretically - sans evidence physical or metaphysical - that religion and God are both set for extinction - like the Dodo before them.
Thoughts for the day: What kind of redundancy package and compensation will God be expecting if he gets the boot as the Omnipotent Power in the Universe? Already known, by His own admission, as a bit of a ‘jealous God’, this could result in one hell of a backlash on a Biblical scale.
Will the Vatican be turned into a theme park? Will the world’s churches be sequestered as shelters for the homeless? More to the point, will the jobcentres be packed out with kiddie fiddling priests looking for employment as scout troop leaders?
Can Noninear Dynamics or Quantum Mathematics or humming in one of the ancient Solfeggio harmonic ascendancy frequencies predict the winning numbers for next week’s Euro-Zillions Lotto draw?
* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Not satisfied with kick-starting the devastating down-under January floods in Queensland, earthquakes in NZ, then the follow-on mega-magnitude Richter scale earth-shaker and resulting tsunami - plus nuclear meltdown - in Japan’s Fuckupshima Province by fiddling around trying to fine tune their HAARP arrays and the CERN Hadron particle collider, the numpty ranks of anoraks and beardies with more degrees than a thermometer have now begun to apply nonlinear dynamic mathematics to shag around with scientific creationism and celestial destiny - and predict that God will be out of a job by 2012.
This divine redundancy of the Ruler of Heaven and Earth will apparently occur prior to the forecast 23rd December Great Rapture (Mayan calendar) when humanity, en masse, is supposed to transcend mortal consciousness and rise up to that great Wetherspoons in the sky – where booze is all duty-free and topless barmaids serve Old Headbanger Special Brew and Bitch Thumper lager 24/7 – along with freebie bowls of halal pork scratchings.
A research study undertaken by a team of self-appointed post-graduate theological genius mathematicians and bean-counters at the Geneva-based ‘Institute of What Can We Fuck With Next’, have utilized historical census data from around the globe – some of which dates back to the time of Herod the Nasty - to create a mathematical model which accounts for the ontological interplay between the number of religious respondents and the social motives behind being one – with self-harming Islamic Jihadi suicide vest bomb martyrs being wholly excluded.
Invoking the principles of nonlinear dynamics to explain a wide range of physical phenomena in which a number of factors play a part Рincluding crystal ball scrying, tealeaf readings, Ouija boards, a Hindu bleaching of the bones ceremony Рand input via s̩ance from the ghostly spirit of Paul, the psychic octopus, the barmy boffin researchers claim the study Рby adjusting parameters for the relative social and utilitarian merits of membership of the non-religious category of society - cracked some Scotch mist digital cipher and proved theoretically - sans evidence physical or metaphysical - that religion and God are both set for extinction - like the Dodo before them.
Thoughts for the day: What kind of redundancy package and compensation will God be expecting if he gets the boot as the Omnipotent Power in the Universe? Already known, by His own admission, as a bit of a ‘jealous God’, this could result in one hell of a backlash on a Biblical scale.
Will the Vatican be turned into a theme park? Will the world’s churches be sequestered as shelters for the homeless? More to the point, will the jobcentres be packed out with kiddie fiddling priests looking for employment as scout troop leaders?
Can Noninear Dynamics or Quantum Mathematics or humming in one of the ancient Solfeggio harmonic ascendancy frequencies predict the winning numbers for next week’s Euro-Zillions Lotto draw?
* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Friday, 25 March 2011
Vlad Putrid’s ‘Siloviki’ Run Rip-Off Russia
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
With the current price of black gold taking off through the proverbial roof like a cat with a Naga Viper chilli pepper shoved up its arse, due the – ahem - “broker-speculator contrived shortage” scare brought on by Libya getting the shit bombed out of it, and hitting US$115 per barrel - and inflating the gold price to US$1,425 per Troy ounce - the Kremlin, at the voracious prompting of the oil and gas oligarchs, are speculating on ‘very long-term’ futures then storing their own outputs in Siberia’s wastelands and withholding it from the refining markets.
Further to this, in a double-dealing play of ‘ricochet trading’ with each other via a series of 21 day EFPs of BFO (Brent-Forties-Oseberg), these career criminals are hence creating additional OTC demand, a false sham bogus global shortage – and forcing the spot price up and up in an ever increasing spiral skywards - a perfidious act currently being blamed by the CFTC on the Western majors, shifty Gulf Sheikdom producers and the Shylock brokers hedging their 'futures' bets against the stocks held and piped through ‘oil central’ at Cushing in Oklahoma – a mess of pottage that has international regulators scratching their heads in total confusion and not knowing whether their arseholes are bored or punched.
So, while their proverbial foreign exchange cup runneth over the incumbent Russian President Dimitry Medvedev and his mentor cum boss, PM Vladimir Putrid, are saying nothing - just coining in the wealth of their extensive natural resources – specifically by distilling the world-famous Cossack Cuckoo high octane vodka, shorting on futures contracts for Baikal Decaffinated Light Crude oil and Black Sea Borsch – and playing 'up the ante' by turning on and off the Ukraine-European pipeline valves controlling the delivery of Siberia’s Mammoth Methane Gaz.
When Vlad Putrid seized the Presidency of the Russian Federation in 1999 after the incumbent Bonkers Boris Yeltsin suffered a terminal hangover and his liver went into spontaneous combustion mode, burning down the family dacha in Scumsky Park, he moved to reduce the political influence of oligarchs who controlled the nation’s oil and gas wealth – and went so far as to actually imprison Mikhail Buggeroff, the obnoxious zillionaire CEO of Tashkent’s Fuckoil.
Putrid forced majority share state sequestration onto the oligarchs controlling Wankprom Oil, Gulag Gaz, Rustheft, TNK and Jackoff Tar Sands – and while zillionaires such as Oleg Mobsaroubles and Isaac Barfsky went along with the deal, others, including Michail Thugarotti, Otto Vulgarian and Igor Pissoffsky fled the country, chose voluntary exile in the UK - buying Premier League soccer clubs and marrying high maintenance asset slappers such as the celebrity Ukrainian lap dancer and stripper Tekem Orloff, and the Austrian society Pro-Dominatrix bitch Ingrid van der Schnott.
Exercising (sic - read ‘abusing’) his power as President, Putrid then amalgamated his St. Petersburg Siloviki political team (all ex-KGB career criminal thugs) with the Vory – Russia’s manky Mafia – run by Oleg Crooksky – thus bringing together the Kremlin’s air of legal officialdom and the Vory - to create a super-kleptocracy - stating at the time “There’s only one thing worse than organised crime and that’s disorganised crime”.
So where did Putrid assimilate his knowledge of felonious commerce? The paper trail indicates from his time with the KGB, then while running the money laundering front of Bolshie Bagels Bakery in St Petersburg and minding the political and commercial fortunes of Mayor Yuri Sackashit before pursuing his fortunes in Moscow.
References to Vlad Putrid’s earliest school reports at the Felix Dzerzhinsky Academy for Latter Day Stalinists reveal “Frequent demonstrations of classic sociopath behaviour. Not given to sharing his toys and doesn’t play well with other children.” – a flawed character trait he carried along through his KGB and St Petersburg careers and into the Kremlin itself – a fact ironically displayed by the diploma hung behind his desk from the Tonya Harding Institute for Fair Play.
Putrid, rumoured to have overcome chronic rhubarb addiction by going ‘cold turkey’ while a teenager, was a founding member of the Murmansk Halitosis Society - which prompted his branding with the disparaging sobriquet of Vlad the Exhaler.
He mastered the nasty Ninja skill of silent cormorant strangling while serving with the KGB and boasts a 6th Dan Black Belt in the Chinese martial art of Sudoku, and is famed for his ‘Harai Goshi’ style of giving opponents one - mainly female - in the doggy style position.
While Putrid might well have established a cult of the personality with his ‘siloviki’ cabal in the Kremlin and running the Federation’s colossal oil and gas industries, he still presents the image of a leader who’s well aware that wood grows on trees, and the ‘Rodina’ (Russian homeland) has more forestry potential than you can shake an axe at.
So, should the West tremble and stop treating Russia as some nuclear armed Third World shithole run by a mix n match cabal of kleptomaniacs and psycho Vory Mafia scallies? Perhaps, for the West will need a cut of Russia’s natural resources long before the Kremlin has any need of the West’s – if the Kremlin can get the oligarchs to play cricket, that is (or vice-versa, as the case may be).
This is instanced by the fact the Russian zillionaire shareholders of TNK-BP have, through their Alfa-Access-Renova (AAR) consortium, yesterday conclusively blocked, via an injunction granted at the High Court in London, BP's (Beyond Pollution) Arctic exploration deal with the state-owned Rostheft – citing BP’s incompetence over contaminating and poisoning the entire Gulf of Mexico with crude oil and the ultra-toxic Coreshite 9500 dispersant solvent following their Deepshit Horizon rig disaster in 2010 as the reason they cannot be trusted as the operating partner in the pristine Arctic.
Such will serve to halt BP quoting the massive Schmuckman field’s estimated ‘in the ground’ reserves on its stock portfolio and hence prevent a rise in their corporate share prices – plus further deter any drop in the current global spot – or futures - price of oil.
* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
With the current price of black gold taking off through the proverbial roof like a cat with a Naga Viper chilli pepper shoved up its arse, due the – ahem - “broker-speculator contrived shortage” scare brought on by Libya getting the shit bombed out of it, and hitting US$115 per barrel - and inflating the gold price to US$1,425 per Troy ounce - the Kremlin, at the voracious prompting of the oil and gas oligarchs, are speculating on ‘very long-term’ futures then storing their own outputs in Siberia’s wastelands and withholding it from the refining markets.
Further to this, in a double-dealing play of ‘ricochet trading’ with each other via a series of 21 day EFPs of BFO (Brent-Forties-Oseberg), these career criminals are hence creating additional OTC demand, a false sham bogus global shortage – and forcing the spot price up and up in an ever increasing spiral skywards - a perfidious act currently being blamed by the CFTC on the Western majors, shifty Gulf Sheikdom producers and the Shylock brokers hedging their 'futures' bets against the stocks held and piped through ‘oil central’ at Cushing in Oklahoma – a mess of pottage that has international regulators scratching their heads in total confusion and not knowing whether their arseholes are bored or punched.
So, while their proverbial foreign exchange cup runneth over the incumbent Russian President Dimitry Medvedev and his mentor cum boss, PM Vladimir Putrid, are saying nothing - just coining in the wealth of their extensive natural resources – specifically by distilling the world-famous Cossack Cuckoo high octane vodka, shorting on futures contracts for Baikal Decaffinated Light Crude oil and Black Sea Borsch – and playing 'up the ante' by turning on and off the Ukraine-European pipeline valves controlling the delivery of Siberia’s Mammoth Methane Gaz.
When Vlad Putrid seized the Presidency of the Russian Federation in 1999 after the incumbent Bonkers Boris Yeltsin suffered a terminal hangover and his liver went into spontaneous combustion mode, burning down the family dacha in Scumsky Park, he moved to reduce the political influence of oligarchs who controlled the nation’s oil and gas wealth – and went so far as to actually imprison Mikhail Buggeroff, the obnoxious zillionaire CEO of Tashkent’s Fuckoil.
Putrid forced majority share state sequestration onto the oligarchs controlling Wankprom Oil, Gulag Gaz, Rustheft, TNK and Jackoff Tar Sands – and while zillionaires such as Oleg Mobsaroubles and Isaac Barfsky went along with the deal, others, including Michail Thugarotti, Otto Vulgarian and Igor Pissoffsky fled the country, chose voluntary exile in the UK - buying Premier League soccer clubs and marrying high maintenance asset slappers such as the celebrity Ukrainian lap dancer and stripper Tekem Orloff, and the Austrian society Pro-Dominatrix bitch Ingrid van der Schnott.
Exercising (sic - read ‘abusing’) his power as President, Putrid then amalgamated his St. Petersburg Siloviki political team (all ex-KGB career criminal thugs) with the Vory – Russia’s manky Mafia – run by Oleg Crooksky – thus bringing together the Kremlin’s air of legal officialdom and the Vory - to create a super-kleptocracy - stating at the time “There’s only one thing worse than organised crime and that’s disorganised crime”.
So where did Putrid assimilate his knowledge of felonious commerce? The paper trail indicates from his time with the KGB, then while running the money laundering front of Bolshie Bagels Bakery in St Petersburg and minding the political and commercial fortunes of Mayor Yuri Sackashit before pursuing his fortunes in Moscow.
References to Vlad Putrid’s earliest school reports at the Felix Dzerzhinsky Academy for Latter Day Stalinists reveal “Frequent demonstrations of classic sociopath behaviour. Not given to sharing his toys and doesn’t play well with other children.” – a flawed character trait he carried along through his KGB and St Petersburg careers and into the Kremlin itself – a fact ironically displayed by the diploma hung behind his desk from the Tonya Harding Institute for Fair Play.
Putrid, rumoured to have overcome chronic rhubarb addiction by going ‘cold turkey’ while a teenager, was a founding member of the Murmansk Halitosis Society - which prompted his branding with the disparaging sobriquet of Vlad the Exhaler.
He mastered the nasty Ninja skill of silent cormorant strangling while serving with the KGB and boasts a 6th Dan Black Belt in the Chinese martial art of Sudoku, and is famed for his ‘Harai Goshi’ style of giving opponents one - mainly female - in the doggy style position.
While Putrid might well have established a cult of the personality with his ‘siloviki’ cabal in the Kremlin and running the Federation’s colossal oil and gas industries, he still presents the image of a leader who’s well aware that wood grows on trees, and the ‘Rodina’ (Russian homeland) has more forestry potential than you can shake an axe at.
So, should the West tremble and stop treating Russia as some nuclear armed Third World shithole run by a mix n match cabal of kleptomaniacs and psycho Vory Mafia scallies? Perhaps, for the West will need a cut of Russia’s natural resources long before the Kremlin has any need of the West’s – if the Kremlin can get the oligarchs to play cricket, that is (or vice-versa, as the case may be).
This is instanced by the fact the Russian zillionaire shareholders of TNK-BP have, through their Alfa-Access-Renova (AAR) consortium, yesterday conclusively blocked, via an injunction granted at the High Court in London, BP's (Beyond Pollution) Arctic exploration deal with the state-owned Rostheft – citing BP’s incompetence over contaminating and poisoning the entire Gulf of Mexico with crude oil and the ultra-toxic Coreshite 9500 dispersant solvent following their Deepshit Horizon rig disaster in 2010 as the reason they cannot be trusted as the operating partner in the pristine Arctic.
Such will serve to halt BP quoting the massive Schmuckman field’s estimated ‘in the ground’ reserves on its stock portfolio and hence prevent a rise in their corporate share prices – plus further deter any drop in the current global spot – or futures - price of oil.
* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Thursday, 24 March 2011
Nobel Want Barky’s Peace Prize Back
In today’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
We all know that sympathy lies in the dictionary right between shit and syphilis – but what fits snugly betwixt American hypocri$y and irony on the International A to Z Scumometer? Sanctimonious duplicity, with a touch of the perfidious, perhaps?
With reflection of the above points, the shit’s hit the fan well and truly in both stuffy Stockholm and Oslo, with the Nobel Prize Awards Committee banging their numpty Scandinavian Viking heads against the wall and wailing to the ether “We’ve fucked up yet again!” – with the ‘yet again’ comment being an obvious reference to the coveted peace prize being erroneously – or rather ‘corruptly’ - awarded to that war-mongering kikester scumbag psychopath Henry Kissinger back in 1973 – for adopting Chaos Theory as the model for US foreign policy - and over which two of the Norwegian Nobel Committee members resigned in a graphic display of vomitous disgust.
The Israeli Slime Minister Menachim ‘Skeletor’ Begin - an ex-Irgun terrorist who played a major 'bloodied hands' role in the genocidal 1948 Palestinian diaspora or Nakba, and was responsible for laying the foundations of the racist apartheid mess that permeates Palestine-Israel today – was, beyond all that beggars belief – awarded the peace prize in 1978 – for being an utter bottom feeding scumbag.
Al Bore won the same in 2007 for his ‘A Convenient Pile of Bullshit’ movie which constituted a scaremongering propaganda treatise to propagate the myth of global warming and justify the establishment of the flawed profit-spinning carbon credit cap n trade exchange – which froze over the following winter.
Oh yes, this is where the Nobel Peace Prize proves itself to be a travesty and a celebration of all that is dark in humanity.
Then in 2009 the peace prize went to none other than the Kenyan cuckoo currently squatting in the White House – Barky ‘Teleprompter’ O’Barmy – the first US president – coloured or otherwise - not to be an American – and for doing absolutely nothing.
So, why was he actually awarded the peace prize? The disingenuous gospel according to the Nobel website quotes: “For his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples” – and for forging birth certificates, perhaps.
Nice, he was chosen to receive the award even before he got a foot through the Oval Office door and sent 40,000 more troops out to reinforce the diminished ranks of the 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment and the 18th Body Bag Brigade in Afghanistan, or authorised the Predator drone attacks on Paki’ civilians – or the no-fly zone bombing attacks on Libya.
Hmmm, and the peace prize award was cubby-holed by his ‘sinecurist’ Zionist kikester controllers before Barky ever got into the White House. What a pity the Nobel Committee don’t have a war-mongering Belligerent Aggressor Prize instead.
Well, anyone who dares comment that ‘there’s no justice in the world’ is spot on correct – especially when men of Gandhi’s moral stature were repeatedly ignored and pondscum such as Obama are awarded on the premise they might do something good – like help an old lady across the road – or even live up to their electoral campaign promises. Hope and Change, my ass.
And there’s some fucking chance of that happening if you read the red top banner headlines of the international gutter press tabloids: “The Kenyan cuckoo President of the United States of Israel, Barky Obama, today had his name entered into the hallowed pages of the iconic Guinness Book of World Records as being the first Nobel Peace Prize winner to authorise the launching of 100 Tomahawk cruise missiles against the people of a non-belligerent sovereign nation”.
Nice one Barky - you've definitely beaten the Dalai Lama to the post on this one – 100 to 0, no less.
The International Herald Shitraker went one further with: “The first President of the United States of America not to be a US citizen, the Kenyan impostor in the Oval Office nest, Barky O’Barmy, yesterday admitted he was aware of the gross irony of accepting a Nobel Peace Prize while the entire US Project for a New American Century is founded on a policy of aggressive and belligerent neo-colonial expansionism to steal and secure by Machiavellian diplomatic legerdemain and violent means the natural resources of developing and Third World nations and establish permanent military bases on their sovereign territory”.
The Libyan proletariat, like all the other Third World disaffected and marginalised peasants, are fed up with the Curse of the Four C’s – Cronyism, Collusion, Corruption, and Complacency - and of being misruled and exploited by dictatorial, despotic oligarchs and plutocrats who maintain power by force of arms, bribery, graft and corruption – by any means required – and at any costs to keep their own end ‘up’ and that of the opposition ‘down’.
Too, the Libyan pro-democracy protesters sent their message to the US in very clear terms on hoarding-sized banners – ‘Yankee Fuck Off – we’ll do it ourselves’ – but that’s not part of the kikester’s game plan.
Perhaps Libya might prove that the Western powers nurture ambitions far beyond their capabilities – and just end up a terminal case of Neo-Con / New World Order overstretch – just like Afghanistan – another Vietnam style quagmire become - for if it wasn’t for the shitty Socal pipeline and opium crops they would never have set foot in the Third World shithole and ‘President’ Hamid Kami-Karzai would still be back in California washing cars and pimping his sisters for a living.
While Barky suffers from cognitive impairment where matters of the Truth are concerned and seems possessed by this curious refusal to behave rationally in what seems his own best interest – we must remember he is a victim of - and a slave to - ‘sinecurism’ (corporatism where government is controlled by private economic power) and owned by the military-industrial cabal’s multi-national corporations – such as Shitberg, Scumstein & Scattheim.
Alas, though he doesn’t qualify for a slot in the index of Linnaean taxonomy, and within the Oxford English Dictionary’s indexed lexicon of 250,000-plus words there is none that accurately describes Barky condition - it has been unanimously agreed by a synod of non-aligned secular jurists that that the word CUNT comes pretty close.
Thoughts for the day: Even Alfie Nobel himself, while never a recipient of the Peace Prize, was branded as the ‘Merchant of Death’ in one newspaper’s premature obituary.
As for the US and Obama – Libya’s going to turn out like Iraq – and Afghanistan: Groundhog Day – without the happy ending. Ha, if it wasn’t for bad luck the Yanks wouldn’t have any.
Oh, and by the way, fuck the ZioNazi Freemasons and their Project for a New American Century / New World Order – it’s all towards achieving the final objectives of the same scam – those great notorious counterfeit Protocols of the Elders of Zion by any other name.
For fuck’s sake, these people are so blatantly transparent they’re virtually see-through.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
We all know that sympathy lies in the dictionary right between shit and syphilis – but what fits snugly betwixt American hypocri$y and irony on the International A to Z Scumometer? Sanctimonious duplicity, with a touch of the perfidious, perhaps?
With reflection of the above points, the shit’s hit the fan well and truly in both stuffy Stockholm and Oslo, with the Nobel Prize Awards Committee banging their numpty Scandinavian Viking heads against the wall and wailing to the ether “We’ve fucked up yet again!” – with the ‘yet again’ comment being an obvious reference to the coveted peace prize being erroneously – or rather ‘corruptly’ - awarded to that war-mongering kikester scumbag psychopath Henry Kissinger back in 1973 – for adopting Chaos Theory as the model for US foreign policy - and over which two of the Norwegian Nobel Committee members resigned in a graphic display of vomitous disgust.
The Israeli Slime Minister Menachim ‘Skeletor’ Begin - an ex-Irgun terrorist who played a major 'bloodied hands' role in the genocidal 1948 Palestinian diaspora or Nakba, and was responsible for laying the foundations of the racist apartheid mess that permeates Palestine-Israel today – was, beyond all that beggars belief – awarded the peace prize in 1978 – for being an utter bottom feeding scumbag.
Al Bore won the same in 2007 for his ‘A Convenient Pile of Bullshit’ movie which constituted a scaremongering propaganda treatise to propagate the myth of global warming and justify the establishment of the flawed profit-spinning carbon credit cap n trade exchange – which froze over the following winter.
Oh yes, this is where the Nobel Peace Prize proves itself to be a travesty and a celebration of all that is dark in humanity.
Then in 2009 the peace prize went to none other than the Kenyan cuckoo currently squatting in the White House – Barky ‘Teleprompter’ O’Barmy – the first US president – coloured or otherwise - not to be an American – and for doing absolutely nothing.
So, why was he actually awarded the peace prize? The disingenuous gospel according to the Nobel website quotes: “For his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples” – and for forging birth certificates, perhaps.
Nice, he was chosen to receive the award even before he got a foot through the Oval Office door and sent 40,000 more troops out to reinforce the diminished ranks of the 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment and the 18th Body Bag Brigade in Afghanistan, or authorised the Predator drone attacks on Paki’ civilians – or the no-fly zone bombing attacks on Libya.
Hmmm, and the peace prize award was cubby-holed by his ‘sinecurist’ Zionist kikester controllers before Barky ever got into the White House. What a pity the Nobel Committee don’t have a war-mongering Belligerent Aggressor Prize instead.
Well, anyone who dares comment that ‘there’s no justice in the world’ is spot on correct – especially when men of Gandhi’s moral stature were repeatedly ignored and pondscum such as Obama are awarded on the premise they might do something good – like help an old lady across the road – or even live up to their electoral campaign promises. Hope and Change, my ass.
And there’s some fucking chance of that happening if you read the red top banner headlines of the international gutter press tabloids: “The Kenyan cuckoo President of the United States of Israel, Barky Obama, today had his name entered into the hallowed pages of the iconic Guinness Book of World Records as being the first Nobel Peace Prize winner to authorise the launching of 100 Tomahawk cruise missiles against the people of a non-belligerent sovereign nation”.
Nice one Barky - you've definitely beaten the Dalai Lama to the post on this one – 100 to 0, no less.
The International Herald Shitraker went one further with: “The first President of the United States of America not to be a US citizen, the Kenyan impostor in the Oval Office nest, Barky O’Barmy, yesterday admitted he was aware of the gross irony of accepting a Nobel Peace Prize while the entire US Project for a New American Century is founded on a policy of aggressive and belligerent neo-colonial expansionism to steal and secure by Machiavellian diplomatic legerdemain and violent means the natural resources of developing and Third World nations and establish permanent military bases on their sovereign territory”.
The Libyan proletariat, like all the other Third World disaffected and marginalised peasants, are fed up with the Curse of the Four C’s – Cronyism, Collusion, Corruption, and Complacency - and of being misruled and exploited by dictatorial, despotic oligarchs and plutocrats who maintain power by force of arms, bribery, graft and corruption – by any means required – and at any costs to keep their own end ‘up’ and that of the opposition ‘down’.
Too, the Libyan pro-democracy protesters sent their message to the US in very clear terms on hoarding-sized banners – ‘Yankee Fuck Off – we’ll do it ourselves’ – but that’s not part of the kikester’s game plan.
Perhaps Libya might prove that the Western powers nurture ambitions far beyond their capabilities – and just end up a terminal case of Neo-Con / New World Order overstretch – just like Afghanistan – another Vietnam style quagmire become - for if it wasn’t for the shitty Socal pipeline and opium crops they would never have set foot in the Third World shithole and ‘President’ Hamid Kami-Karzai would still be back in California washing cars and pimping his sisters for a living.
While Barky suffers from cognitive impairment where matters of the Truth are concerned and seems possessed by this curious refusal to behave rationally in what seems his own best interest – we must remember he is a victim of - and a slave to - ‘sinecurism’ (corporatism where government is controlled by private economic power) and owned by the military-industrial cabal’s multi-national corporations – such as Shitberg, Scumstein & Scattheim.
Alas, though he doesn’t qualify for a slot in the index of Linnaean taxonomy, and within the Oxford English Dictionary’s indexed lexicon of 250,000-plus words there is none that accurately describes Barky condition - it has been unanimously agreed by a synod of non-aligned secular jurists that that the word CUNT comes pretty close.
Thoughts for the day: Even Alfie Nobel himself, while never a recipient of the Peace Prize, was branded as the ‘Merchant of Death’ in one newspaper’s premature obituary.
As for the US and Obama – Libya’s going to turn out like Iraq – and Afghanistan: Groundhog Day – without the happy ending. Ha, if it wasn’t for bad luck the Yanks wouldn’t have any.
Oh, and by the way, fuck the ZioNazi Freemasons and their Project for a New American Century / New World Order – it’s all towards achieving the final objectives of the same scam – those great notorious counterfeit Protocols of the Elders of Zion by any other name.
For fuck’s sake, these people are so blatantly transparent they’re virtually see-through.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Wednesday, 23 March 2011
Peace Prize Winner Cops Guinness Record
The Kenyan cuckoo President of the United States of Israel, Barky Obama, today had his name entered into the hallowed pages of the iconic Guinness Book of World Records as the first Nobel Peace Prize winner to authorise the launching of 100 Tomahawk cruise missiles against the people of a non-belligerent sovereign nation.
Nice one Barky - you've definitely beaten the Dalai Lama to the post on this one.
Nice one Barky - you've definitely beaten the Dalai Lama to the post on this one.
Midsomer Murders Slammed for Racism
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
The Libservative Coalition government are on the ball, with their newly-created Ministry for Political Correctness issuing a censure against ITV’s 14-year marathon bore-drama ‘Midsomer Murders’ for its haughty and jingoistic all-white ‘Englishness’ and lack of multi-cultural racial diversity – as now sanctioned and demanded by PM Posh Dave Scameron.
No stranger to criticism, the actual realism of the entire series has been previously questioned on grounds of abusing common sense and logic alone – with the fictitious county of Midsomer constituting the murder capital of the world – where a score of grisly homicides have occurred in the villages of Old Scrotum and Twatt’s End in the last six months – and over four thousand persons snuffed by foul play since the series was first broadcast in 1997 – three hundred more than the estimated total population of the entire length and breadth of the rural community – from Borkum Riff in the north of the county to Slutts Hollow in the south.
Conversely, Aldous Cocksquirrel, one of the creators of ITV1's Midsomer Murders told a reporter from the Xenophobia Gazette that the series simply wouldn't work if there was racial diversity in the village life it portrays.
In support of this fact, producer Irwin Bogbrush maintains, against all criticism, that the long-running drama is a "last bastion of Englishness" and should stay that way – and further defended his ban on swearing, violence and live sex scenes from the show while claiming this was offset by including copious amounts of carnal innuendo and diversity issues other than ethnicity.
"If the story line involves cormorant stretching, incest, kiddie fiddling Catholic priests, blackmail, lesbianism, homo’ bum boys fudging each other in Doggers Wood, or zoophilia with some hapless yokel – or a local Freemason magistrate - caught shagging a sheep out on the moors – well that just terrific because the stupid viewers have been conditioned to believe that people can murder to cover up any of those shamefully embarrassing revelations.”
However, Sir Morton Armitage-Shanks, formerly the Tory Minister for Wasting Time & Money, and recently appointed to the post of Secretary for Political Correctness, informed media hacks that “We are a cosmopolitan society in this country, but if you watch Midsomer you wouldn't think so as you never see any dodgy darkies or wily oriental slants – just Detective Inspector Jack Pillock, kitted out in tweed and doing his customary Anthony Gormless statute impersonation – of an archetype Home Counties dildo.”
“A recent poll has revealed that the programme is strikingly unpopular with viewers from ethnic minorities who can’t understand the rural Fuckinghamshire yokel dialects and haven’t a clue why someone might murder their neighbour over a Cornish pasty being served cold, or not returning a copy of the Big Issue, or the fact their dog has shit on next door’s lawn.”
“Midsomer, in our opinion, now constitutes the height of political incorrectness and is totally dislocated from actual reality. We have no Mr Patel the Paki’ at the corner shop, no darkie-run Pound Stretcher stores, no Chinese chippy or Indian take-away, no Polish immigrants stealing all the other villagers job opportunities and working for a quid an hour less that minimum wage.”
“There’s never a sighting of any Jamaican Yardies called Gnasher McScrunt dealing drugs, nary the roar of a chapter of Hells Angels tear-arsing down the lanes on their motor bikes, no swan-roasting Albanians poaching on the village pond, no mention of Eastern European *gyppo sex slave traffickers kidnapping children from the local schools, and a total absence of pikey travellers setting up a regular Sunday morning car boot sale in the middle of the pristine village green."
"And what’s more to the point, since 9/11 there’s no sign of a mosque or any shifty Muslim types sneaking off to the local mosque's madrassa to join the Big Al Qaeda Gang and learn how to make Semtex waistcoats or those fantasy black pepper and peroxide bombs.”
Thought for the day: How about injecting some action into the series, to dispel the boredom – with a cameo appearance of that great kosher detective Shylock Holmes and his trusty sidekick Dr Snotson, hot in pursuit of the evil Rabbi Rothshite and his Zionist kikester crime syndicate?
*Under new EUSSR regulations the word "gyppo " is no longer politically correct. They must now be referred to as Caravan Utilising Nomadic Travellers - or CUNTS for short.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
The Libservative Coalition government are on the ball, with their newly-created Ministry for Political Correctness issuing a censure against ITV’s 14-year marathon bore-drama ‘Midsomer Murders’ for its haughty and jingoistic all-white ‘Englishness’ and lack of multi-cultural racial diversity – as now sanctioned and demanded by PM Posh Dave Scameron.
No stranger to criticism, the actual realism of the entire series has been previously questioned on grounds of abusing common sense and logic alone – with the fictitious county of Midsomer constituting the murder capital of the world – where a score of grisly homicides have occurred in the villages of Old Scrotum and Twatt’s End in the last six months – and over four thousand persons snuffed by foul play since the series was first broadcast in 1997 – three hundred more than the estimated total population of the entire length and breadth of the rural community – from Borkum Riff in the north of the county to Slutts Hollow in the south.
Conversely, Aldous Cocksquirrel, one of the creators of ITV1's Midsomer Murders told a reporter from the Xenophobia Gazette that the series simply wouldn't work if there was racial diversity in the village life it portrays.
In support of this fact, producer Irwin Bogbrush maintains, against all criticism, that the long-running drama is a "last bastion of Englishness" and should stay that way – and further defended his ban on swearing, violence and live sex scenes from the show while claiming this was offset by including copious amounts of carnal innuendo and diversity issues other than ethnicity.
"If the story line involves cormorant stretching, incest, kiddie fiddling Catholic priests, blackmail, lesbianism, homo’ bum boys fudging each other in Doggers Wood, or zoophilia with some hapless yokel – or a local Freemason magistrate - caught shagging a sheep out on the moors – well that just terrific because the stupid viewers have been conditioned to believe that people can murder to cover up any of those shamefully embarrassing revelations.”
However, Sir Morton Armitage-Shanks, formerly the Tory Minister for Wasting Time & Money, and recently appointed to the post of Secretary for Political Correctness, informed media hacks that “We are a cosmopolitan society in this country, but if you watch Midsomer you wouldn't think so as you never see any dodgy darkies or wily oriental slants – just Detective Inspector Jack Pillock, kitted out in tweed and doing his customary Anthony Gormless statute impersonation – of an archetype Home Counties dildo.”
“A recent poll has revealed that the programme is strikingly unpopular with viewers from ethnic minorities who can’t understand the rural Fuckinghamshire yokel dialects and haven’t a clue why someone might murder their neighbour over a Cornish pasty being served cold, or not returning a copy of the Big Issue, or the fact their dog has shit on next door’s lawn.”
“Midsomer, in our opinion, now constitutes the height of political incorrectness and is totally dislocated from actual reality. We have no Mr Patel the Paki’ at the corner shop, no darkie-run Pound Stretcher stores, no Chinese chippy or Indian take-away, no Polish immigrants stealing all the other villagers job opportunities and working for a quid an hour less that minimum wage.”
“There’s never a sighting of any Jamaican Yardies called Gnasher McScrunt dealing drugs, nary the roar of a chapter of Hells Angels tear-arsing down the lanes on their motor bikes, no swan-roasting Albanians poaching on the village pond, no mention of Eastern European *gyppo sex slave traffickers kidnapping children from the local schools, and a total absence of pikey travellers setting up a regular Sunday morning car boot sale in the middle of the pristine village green."
"And what’s more to the point, since 9/11 there’s no sign of a mosque or any shifty Muslim types sneaking off to the local mosque's madrassa to join the Big Al Qaeda Gang and learn how to make Semtex waistcoats or those fantasy black pepper and peroxide bombs.”
Thought for the day: How about injecting some action into the series, to dispel the boredom – with a cameo appearance of that great kosher detective Shylock Holmes and his trusty sidekick Dr Snotson, hot in pursuit of the evil Rabbi Rothshite and his Zionist kikester crime syndicate?
*Under new EUSSR regulations the word "gyppo " is no longer politically correct. They must now be referred to as Caravan Utilising Nomadic Travellers - or CUNTS for short.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Tuesday, 22 March 2011
UN Security Council Branded 'Hypocrites'
In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Sir Rigby Ratstamper, the United Nations Secretary for International Moral Observance, Cricket & All-Round Fair Play, was today unceremoniously fired without notice and escorted from the New York HQ by armed ICTS security guards after circulating an e-mail that reflected on the duplicitous Friday night Security Council resolution to enforce, by aggressive military actions, a no-fly zone across the length and breadth of Libya so the pro-democracy rebels might have a better chance of overthrowing the established government of the bonkers Colonel Gaddafi.
A man of conscience and an international jurist to boot, Sir Rigby rightly opined in his e-message that presented with the paradox of the self same circumstances, an identical set of Security Council measures should be sanctioned and enacted against the brutal ZioNazi state of Israel for their inhuman treatment of the Palestinian populations of the occupied West Bank and the besieged Gaza Strip ghetto.
“Since the 1948 Nakba, for reasons of sectarian and racist hatred, the Palestinians have been marginalised by the Ubermenche Israeli elitists, and held hostage behind the IDF’s 30-foot high Great Apartheid Wall – where they are denied dignity and subjected to indiscriminate ‘fish-in-a-barrel visitations of ‘Shock n Awe’ bombing with white phosphorous and DIME munitions launched from fighter aircraft – aircraft supplied by the good old democracy-loving US of A, under the auspices of that venal Kenyan cuckoo incumbent of the Oval Office – Mr Nobel Peace Prize himself – the duplicitous Barky O’Barmy.”
According to one report in the Hasbara Gazette, the Israeli Ambassador to the UN, Sheldon Scattberger, was notified of the content of Sir Rigby’s e-mail via the medium of two successive irate phone calls – the first from Baron Rothshite in London and the next from the Israeli Foreign Minister in Tel Aviv, the ultra die-hard Jabotinskyist, Zayin Lieberscumm.
Upon receipt of a right bollocking, Scattberger immediately went into headless chicken mode – galvanising Ochel Batachat, his chief of staff, to mobilise the entire Shylock-owned and controlled American media and US-based political lobbying system, from News International’s Rupert ‘Wrinkles’ Mudrock to AIPAC to the B’nai B’rith and Abe Poxman’s ADL to combat any and all criticism of the rogue Zionist crime syndicate outlaw state – and further expedite a thorough character assassination hatchet job on the British diplomat for his expose.
Pox News were quick off the mark, airing a bulletin that labelled Sir Rigby a ‘typical British snob who drew his opinions of God’s ‘Chosen People’ from the Dickensian arch-villain Fagin – thus branding him a die-hard anti-Semite and a do-gooder nuisance’ - who was probably a Holohoax denier to boot and out to provoke a pogrom against the peace-loving Jewish people of Israel.
No meek lamb to the slaughter in the abattoir of political conflict, Sir Rigby responded by primarily condemning the Israeli settlements in the West Bank as being illegal under international law as per the statutes of the UNSC Resolution 446 and the Fourth Geneva Convention - regardless of the pro-Zionist US muppet government and kikester-infested Congress and White House blocking and vetoing any and all further sanctions to the same effect.
Sir Rigby went on to comment that the military strikes directed at Libya were appropriately commenced on the eighth anniversary of the moronic Dubya Bush's illegal invasion of Iraq – a factor he wryly avoided serious mention of being driven by any occult motive and promoting conspiracy theories galore.
However he did further castigate the belligerent cabal of the Security Council who voted for the enforcement of the no-fly zone in preference of pursuing a diplomatic solution - with an added lashing of condemnation for adopting Chaos Theory as their foreign policy model – before returning to his original theme that Israel should be the subject of a Security Council review concerning the continuing barrage of war crimes committed against the ‘goyim’ Palestinian populations – imprisoning them in the biggest concentration camps on the planet that make Auschwitz and Belsen look like Club Med.
“The belligerent terrorist state of Israel go on and on whingeing with this threadbare swan song about the Holohoax and Nazi era crimes against humanity and them being the victims, surrounded by Muslim nations that are hostile to Zionism and their illegal outlaw state – wholly ignoring the fact they stole Palestine from the rightful owners and are still today conducting barbaric atrocities – both ethnic cleansing and a programme of slow-cook genocide - against the inhabitants of the West Bank and Gaza Strip that far surpass the hypothesised human rights and wrongs violations committed against them by Hitler’s thugs.”
“Really, it’s not anti-Semitism, regardless of the Sanhedrin having God’s only son Jesus murdered by the Romans, and being viewed as greedy, money-grubbing bunch of usurers who control the world’s banking system for their personal profit.
Basically it comes down to the fact the Jews have got a bad name to the level of being classed as global pariahs due being an organised crime syndicate state and through the psychopathic and genocidal actions of the ultra-Zionist kikesters running Israel from the Knesset – the Ashkenazi Jews of convenience who have zero Semitic DNA in their mongrel Khazar genes.”
“The world’s sick and tired of Israeli Zionist aggression and barbarity towards its neighbours and the global community. From it’s utter disregard for international law to their incessant false flag operations against every fucker and their dog to demonise Muslims as terrorists and stir up Islamophobia so they can forward their Jew World Order agenda against the goyim – their mandated slaves.”
“This insane ‘Children of the Covenant’ political policy derived from the Pentateuch - the Jewish Homeland promised by Jehovah to his Chosen People - to achieve the Manifest Destiny of a Greater Israel – stretching from Nile to Euphrates - and beyond - lies at an intersection between folly, stupidity and lunacy – and will be the harbinger of their downfall.”
Thought for the day: So, how about imposing no-fly zones over Bahrain and the nerve gas happy Yemen and Saudi Arabia – the lot a pick n mix boxed set of barbaric states run by dynasties of dictatorial despots and pisspots – all for the same crimes as Libya stands condemned – the aggressive and violent suppression of protest against the incumbent regime’s draconian rule. Hmmm, and while we’re at it, slap Israel with an Asbo to keep out of the West Bank, Jerusalem, the Gaza Strip – and the Golan Heights.
The entire government of the United States – White House, Congress and Senate - are in bed with all of the above Arab kleptocracies – and too the Zionist kikester psychopaths running Israel - and should also be judged accordingly.
Be sure that history will treat none of their number gently – especially so when we have the psychopathic Israeli Deputy Foreign Minister Danny Ayalon issuing death threats against the democratically-elected Hamas leaders of the Gaza Strip in the past 24 hours.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Sir Rigby Ratstamper, the United Nations Secretary for International Moral Observance, Cricket & All-Round Fair Play, was today unceremoniously fired without notice and escorted from the New York HQ by armed ICTS security guards after circulating an e-mail that reflected on the duplicitous Friday night Security Council resolution to enforce, by aggressive military actions, a no-fly zone across the length and breadth of Libya so the pro-democracy rebels might have a better chance of overthrowing the established government of the bonkers Colonel Gaddafi.
A man of conscience and an international jurist to boot, Sir Rigby rightly opined in his e-message that presented with the paradox of the self same circumstances, an identical set of Security Council measures should be sanctioned and enacted against the brutal ZioNazi state of Israel for their inhuman treatment of the Palestinian populations of the occupied West Bank and the besieged Gaza Strip ghetto.
“Since the 1948 Nakba, for reasons of sectarian and racist hatred, the Palestinians have been marginalised by the Ubermenche Israeli elitists, and held hostage behind the IDF’s 30-foot high Great Apartheid Wall – where they are denied dignity and subjected to indiscriminate ‘fish-in-a-barrel visitations of ‘Shock n Awe’ bombing with white phosphorous and DIME munitions launched from fighter aircraft – aircraft supplied by the good old democracy-loving US of A, under the auspices of that venal Kenyan cuckoo incumbent of the Oval Office – Mr Nobel Peace Prize himself – the duplicitous Barky O’Barmy.”
According to one report in the Hasbara Gazette, the Israeli Ambassador to the UN, Sheldon Scattberger, was notified of the content of Sir Rigby’s e-mail via the medium of two successive irate phone calls – the first from Baron Rothshite in London and the next from the Israeli Foreign Minister in Tel Aviv, the ultra die-hard Jabotinskyist, Zayin Lieberscumm.
Upon receipt of a right bollocking, Scattberger immediately went into headless chicken mode – galvanising Ochel Batachat, his chief of staff, to mobilise the entire Shylock-owned and controlled American media and US-based political lobbying system, from News International’s Rupert ‘Wrinkles’ Mudrock to AIPAC to the B’nai B’rith and Abe Poxman’s ADL to combat any and all criticism of the rogue Zionist crime syndicate outlaw state – and further expedite a thorough character assassination hatchet job on the British diplomat for his expose.
Pox News were quick off the mark, airing a bulletin that labelled Sir Rigby a ‘typical British snob who drew his opinions of God’s ‘Chosen People’ from the Dickensian arch-villain Fagin – thus branding him a die-hard anti-Semite and a do-gooder nuisance’ - who was probably a Holohoax denier to boot and out to provoke a pogrom against the peace-loving Jewish people of Israel.
No meek lamb to the slaughter in the abattoir of political conflict, Sir Rigby responded by primarily condemning the Israeli settlements in the West Bank as being illegal under international law as per the statutes of the UNSC Resolution 446 and the Fourth Geneva Convention - regardless of the pro-Zionist US muppet government and kikester-infested Congress and White House blocking and vetoing any and all further sanctions to the same effect.
Sir Rigby went on to comment that the military strikes directed at Libya were appropriately commenced on the eighth anniversary of the moronic Dubya Bush's illegal invasion of Iraq – a factor he wryly avoided serious mention of being driven by any occult motive and promoting conspiracy theories galore.
However he did further castigate the belligerent cabal of the Security Council who voted for the enforcement of the no-fly zone in preference of pursuing a diplomatic solution - with an added lashing of condemnation for adopting Chaos Theory as their foreign policy model – before returning to his original theme that Israel should be the subject of a Security Council review concerning the continuing barrage of war crimes committed against the ‘goyim’ Palestinian populations – imprisoning them in the biggest concentration camps on the planet that make Auschwitz and Belsen look like Club Med.
“The belligerent terrorist state of Israel go on and on whingeing with this threadbare swan song about the Holohoax and Nazi era crimes against humanity and them being the victims, surrounded by Muslim nations that are hostile to Zionism and their illegal outlaw state – wholly ignoring the fact they stole Palestine from the rightful owners and are still today conducting barbaric atrocities – both ethnic cleansing and a programme of slow-cook genocide - against the inhabitants of the West Bank and Gaza Strip that far surpass the hypothesised human rights and wrongs violations committed against them by Hitler’s thugs.”
“Really, it’s not anti-Semitism, regardless of the Sanhedrin having God’s only son Jesus murdered by the Romans, and being viewed as greedy, money-grubbing bunch of usurers who control the world’s banking system for their personal profit.
Basically it comes down to the fact the Jews have got a bad name to the level of being classed as global pariahs due being an organised crime syndicate state and through the psychopathic and genocidal actions of the ultra-Zionist kikesters running Israel from the Knesset – the Ashkenazi Jews of convenience who have zero Semitic DNA in their mongrel Khazar genes.”
“The world’s sick and tired of Israeli Zionist aggression and barbarity towards its neighbours and the global community. From it’s utter disregard for international law to their incessant false flag operations against every fucker and their dog to demonise Muslims as terrorists and stir up Islamophobia so they can forward their Jew World Order agenda against the goyim – their mandated slaves.”
“This insane ‘Children of the Covenant’ political policy derived from the Pentateuch - the Jewish Homeland promised by Jehovah to his Chosen People - to achieve the Manifest Destiny of a Greater Israel – stretching from Nile to Euphrates - and beyond - lies at an intersection between folly, stupidity and lunacy – and will be the harbinger of their downfall.”
Thought for the day: So, how about imposing no-fly zones over Bahrain and the nerve gas happy Yemen and Saudi Arabia – the lot a pick n mix boxed set of barbaric states run by dynasties of dictatorial despots and pisspots – all for the same crimes as Libya stands condemned – the aggressive and violent suppression of protest against the incumbent regime’s draconian rule. Hmmm, and while we’re at it, slap Israel with an Asbo to keep out of the West Bank, Jerusalem, the Gaza Strip – and the Golan Heights.
The entire government of the United States – White House, Congress and Senate - are in bed with all of the above Arab kleptocracies – and too the Zionist kikester psychopaths running Israel - and should also be judged accordingly.
Be sure that history will treat none of their number gently – especially so when we have the psychopathic Israeli Deputy Foreign Minister Danny Ayalon issuing death threats against the democratically-elected Hamas leaders of the Gaza Strip in the past 24 hours.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Local Councils Create ‘Ciggy Stasi’
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Applying Cabbage Patch Dave’s terminally-flawed financial model of ‘Scameronomics’, the newly-established Ministry for Wasting Time & Money, working in conjunction with the Ministry of What Can We Fuck With Next, have tasked local authorities to boost their emasculated 2010 / 2011 public service budgets by commissioning a ‘Ciggy Stasi’ to carry out random inspections up and down our green and pleasant land, on the look-out for evidence of illicit cigarette use and to issue on-the-spot fines.
This latest Orwellian / Kafkaesque task force will even hunt for cigarette butts in the ashtrays and poke their intrusive officious beaks inside vehicles to smell the air in order to clamp down on, and generate income from, issuing penalties for transgressing the outlawed practice of smoking while driving.
Hapless British workers were banned from enjoying a cigarette in their company cars, white vans and trucks as part of the EUSSR’s dystopic Health Act introduced in 2006 – with the law mandating it illegal in all vehicles used primarily for business purposes by more than one person – with anyone caught breaking said law facing a £50 quid fixed penalty fine ‘and’ a possible court conviction, which carries a draconic £200 quid fine and transportation to the Australian colonies. Further, to rub salt into the wounds, the culprits’ employers will also be informed of the offence and heavily fined to boot.
Genghis McTwatt, the acting head of environmental services for Scumborough District Council in Smegmashire, told a reporter from the Parasites Gazette that “With this recession we’ve had hundreds of applications from the usual community pariah types - officious little power-mad bastards, all breaking their neck to work for minimum wage and wear a freebie uniform, then play the Nazi Oberstfuhrer Gestapo agent and get out there pulling cars over and arresting the hapless public for having a quick drag while they’re driving.”
The scheme is being primarily introduced throughout March and has been organised to coincide with ‘National No Smoking Day’ which takes place in the middle of this current month - one week after ‘Who Gives a Flying Fuck Day’.
Thought for the day: Fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.
* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Applying Cabbage Patch Dave’s terminally-flawed financial model of ‘Scameronomics’, the newly-established Ministry for Wasting Time & Money, working in conjunction with the Ministry of What Can We Fuck With Next, have tasked local authorities to boost their emasculated 2010 / 2011 public service budgets by commissioning a ‘Ciggy Stasi’ to carry out random inspections up and down our green and pleasant land, on the look-out for evidence of illicit cigarette use and to issue on-the-spot fines.
This latest Orwellian / Kafkaesque task force will even hunt for cigarette butts in the ashtrays and poke their intrusive officious beaks inside vehicles to smell the air in order to clamp down on, and generate income from, issuing penalties for transgressing the outlawed practice of smoking while driving.
Hapless British workers were banned from enjoying a cigarette in their company cars, white vans and trucks as part of the EUSSR’s dystopic Health Act introduced in 2006 – with the law mandating it illegal in all vehicles used primarily for business purposes by more than one person – with anyone caught breaking said law facing a £50 quid fixed penalty fine ‘and’ a possible court conviction, which carries a draconic £200 quid fine and transportation to the Australian colonies. Further, to rub salt into the wounds, the culprits’ employers will also be informed of the offence and heavily fined to boot.
Genghis McTwatt, the acting head of environmental services for Scumborough District Council in Smegmashire, told a reporter from the Parasites Gazette that “With this recession we’ve had hundreds of applications from the usual community pariah types - officious little power-mad bastards, all breaking their neck to work for minimum wage and wear a freebie uniform, then play the Nazi Oberstfuhrer Gestapo agent and get out there pulling cars over and arresting the hapless public for having a quick drag while they’re driving.”
The scheme is being primarily introduced throughout March and has been organised to coincide with ‘National No Smoking Day’ which takes place in the middle of this current month - one week after ‘Who Gives a Flying Fuck Day’.
Thought for the day: Fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.
* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Monday, 21 March 2011
Operation Regime Change: Libya is Iraq Mk2
In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
After ignoring calls from Amnesty International and Ox-Rat to first send in the Irish Messiah of World Peace – aka U2 frontman Bonehead – to negotiate a cease fire and truce between the bonkers Colonel Gaddafi and rebel pro-democracy forces, the UN Security Council on Friday night, by a majority vote, sanctioned the use of ‘deadly force’ via the iron fist of the ZioNazi ‘Coalition of the Kikester Muppets’ to expedite a no-fly zone over Libya - and kill every fucker old enough to bleed if they dare launch a McDonalds Chew n Spew balloon or a kite.
The staging of ‘Operation Regime Change’ against Gaddafi & Sons Inc – aka ‘Project Steal Their Oil’ – transcends the history of neo-colonial belligerence as once again the greed-ridden Shylock banksters and military-industrial cabals facilitate the self-same false flag and black propaganda plots that led to the illegal invasions and martial actions against Afghanistan in 2001 - and Iraq in 2003 (precisely 8 years to the date -19th March - earlier).
The Kenyan cuckoo President of the United States of Israel, Barky O’Barmy, as always deluded by his own faulty rhetoric, informed Pox News that the Pentagon was planning a limited military action as part of a broad Western coalition to create a no-fly zone in the hope of levelling out the game board between Gaddafi’s forces and the rebels.
Mista O’Barmy stressed that unlike the illegal war against Iraq and too the ongoing quagmire in Afghanistan, no US ground troops would be involved in the further butchery of non-combatant civilians once the indiscriminate carpet bombing of anything resembling air force facilities was completed.
In an uncanny déjà vu replay of the illegal invasion of Iraq in 2003, UK Prime Minister Cabbage Patch Dave Scameron, suffering from his own brand of cognitive dissonance, morphed into a Tony Bliar clone - the Mk 2 version - and in a bid to outdo the moronic O’Barmy - ironically stated for the public record (and too as future damning testimony at a war crimes tribunal) that launching military action against Libya was "necessary, legal and right" - following on along an identical path to infamy and the self-destruction of any credibility he might once have possessed.
Also anxious to get his two-penneth in, Chancellor George Osborne, who attended a meeting of the emergency pro-Zionist Cobra Committee prior to Saturday's operation with the French Minister for Foreign Aggression, Monsieur Aldous de Sleaze, informed one press hack from the Warmongers Gazette that the terms of the UN mandate authorising the action were very clear.
"We have to make sure that Tel Aviv’s orders to the United Nations have been understood and are carried out to the Rothshite crime syndicate’s satisfaction. Hence Britain will play its part alongside the craven French and trigger-happy gung-ho Yanks in murdering, mutilating and maiming non-combatant civilians as they decimate Libya’s infrastructure to ensure they enforce a no-fly zone to the degree that a shitehawk will have trouble taking off or landing.”
One British submarine, the HMS Founder, a nuclear-powered Fubar class vessel of the type usually photographed and video taped by tourists stuck on sandbars around Scotland’s Isle of Skye, was reported to have launched what the Ministry of Defence referred to as “lots and lots of Tomahawk cruise missiles” – with several of them reportedly hitting targets inside Libya – resulting in a bonanza of carnage with hundreds of civilian casualties – more at ‘dead’ than ‘wounded or mutilated‘ - which the Defence Secretary Liam Pox diplomatically termed with his customary brazen hubris and sanctimonious contemptibility as ‘permissible collateral damage’. Hmmm, ain’t war hell.
The ‘Operation Regime Change’ US Commander, General Gnasher McScrunt, further announced he was "entirely comfortable" with the outcome of the British RAF air strikes military targets in Tripoli – which resulted in the demolition of Hakim’s Spicy Kebab Take-Away and levelled the Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer Memorial Hospital on the corner of Ras al Shitbag Street – along with the neighbouring Mohammed al Ka-Boom Orphanage for Latter Day Jihadi Suicide Bombers.
As the UK has, in typical idiotic fashion when planning further neo-colonial wars at the behest of their ZioNazi kikester masters, totally ignored applying the facility of 20/20 hindsight and scrapped its aircraft carriers – the participating RAF Tornados, having no floating runway facility in the Mediterranean, were forced to fly a 3,000 miles round trip from RAF Bellend in Norfolk and back to carry out their bombing mission – which doubtless cost the hapless British taxpayers millions in aviation fuel.
So, now we know why Scameron and Osborne have slashed the UK’s local authority budgets and welfare / housing benefits – to pay for hundreds of BMG-109 Tomahawk cruise missiles (wholesale / job lot price per unit US$569,000 each fitted with conventional HE warhead – B61 dial-a-yield nuclear warhead optional mega-bucks $$$ extra) to blast the shit out of Libya and the hapless Gaddafi’s military forces – the only thing standing in the way of the ZioNazi Western military-industrial cabal and Shylock banksters gaining control of the nation’s natural resources – which include 6 billion $$$ dollar’s worth of gold bullion plus proven reserves of 44 billion barrels of sweet, light crude oil.
Hmmm, so much for the toothless United Nations and their total disregard for a sovereign state’s right to self-determination – even if it does involve a few bloody noses and a bit of a civil war.
Let’s be entirely honest – if Libya was all sand, a few date palms, grungy goats, camels with the hump, bandy Bedouins, truculent Tuaregs and the odd oasis – and had no fucking oil - then nary a single greedy kikester fuckwit or their dog would be interested in civilian protests for democratic change – and the bonkers Colonel’s 21st Gingham Tea Towel Regiment could go on exterminating the Bolshie radicals with nary an iota of international condemnation – much the same as Bahrain, Yemen and Saudi Arabia have been currently immunised from Western- disproved sanctions or slaps on the proverbial wrist for their human rights and wrongs violations. Amen.
* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of Muslim civilian protesters were negatively affected across the entire swathe of the Greater Persian / Arabian Gulf region as despotic tyrants controlling the same - with Western banksters blessings - (Insha’ Allah) stamp the jackboot of brutality down on their ethnic protester’s sandaled toes and scrawny necks.
Oh, and by the way, fuck the Zionist Freemasons and the Project for a New American Century and their New World Order – to be established in the historic Palestinian capital city of Jerusalem.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
After ignoring calls from Amnesty International and Ox-Rat to first send in the Irish Messiah of World Peace – aka U2 frontman Bonehead – to negotiate a cease fire and truce between the bonkers Colonel Gaddafi and rebel pro-democracy forces, the UN Security Council on Friday night, by a majority vote, sanctioned the use of ‘deadly force’ via the iron fist of the ZioNazi ‘Coalition of the Kikester Muppets’ to expedite a no-fly zone over Libya - and kill every fucker old enough to bleed if they dare launch a McDonalds Chew n Spew balloon or a kite.
The staging of ‘Operation Regime Change’ against Gaddafi & Sons Inc – aka ‘Project Steal Their Oil’ – transcends the history of neo-colonial belligerence as once again the greed-ridden Shylock banksters and military-industrial cabals facilitate the self-same false flag and black propaganda plots that led to the illegal invasions and martial actions against Afghanistan in 2001 - and Iraq in 2003 (precisely 8 years to the date -19th March - earlier).
The Kenyan cuckoo President of the United States of Israel, Barky O’Barmy, as always deluded by his own faulty rhetoric, informed Pox News that the Pentagon was planning a limited military action as part of a broad Western coalition to create a no-fly zone in the hope of levelling out the game board between Gaddafi’s forces and the rebels.
Mista O’Barmy stressed that unlike the illegal war against Iraq and too the ongoing quagmire in Afghanistan, no US ground troops would be involved in the further butchery of non-combatant civilians once the indiscriminate carpet bombing of anything resembling air force facilities was completed.
In an uncanny déjà vu replay of the illegal invasion of Iraq in 2003, UK Prime Minister Cabbage Patch Dave Scameron, suffering from his own brand of cognitive dissonance, morphed into a Tony Bliar clone - the Mk 2 version - and in a bid to outdo the moronic O’Barmy - ironically stated for the public record (and too as future damning testimony at a war crimes tribunal) that launching military action against Libya was "necessary, legal and right" - following on along an identical path to infamy and the self-destruction of any credibility he might once have possessed.
Also anxious to get his two-penneth in, Chancellor George Osborne, who attended a meeting of the emergency pro-Zionist Cobra Committee prior to Saturday's operation with the French Minister for Foreign Aggression, Monsieur Aldous de Sleaze, informed one press hack from the Warmongers Gazette that the terms of the UN mandate authorising the action were very clear.
"We have to make sure that Tel Aviv’s orders to the United Nations have been understood and are carried out to the Rothshite crime syndicate’s satisfaction. Hence Britain will play its part alongside the craven French and trigger-happy gung-ho Yanks in murdering, mutilating and maiming non-combatant civilians as they decimate Libya’s infrastructure to ensure they enforce a no-fly zone to the degree that a shitehawk will have trouble taking off or landing.”
One British submarine, the HMS Founder, a nuclear-powered Fubar class vessel of the type usually photographed and video taped by tourists stuck on sandbars around Scotland’s Isle of Skye, was reported to have launched what the Ministry of Defence referred to as “lots and lots of Tomahawk cruise missiles” – with several of them reportedly hitting targets inside Libya – resulting in a bonanza of carnage with hundreds of civilian casualties – more at ‘dead’ than ‘wounded or mutilated‘ - which the Defence Secretary Liam Pox diplomatically termed with his customary brazen hubris and sanctimonious contemptibility as ‘permissible collateral damage’. Hmmm, ain’t war hell.
The ‘Operation Regime Change’ US Commander, General Gnasher McScrunt, further announced he was "entirely comfortable" with the outcome of the British RAF air strikes military targets in Tripoli – which resulted in the demolition of Hakim’s Spicy Kebab Take-Away and levelled the Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer Memorial Hospital on the corner of Ras al Shitbag Street – along with the neighbouring Mohammed al Ka-Boom Orphanage for Latter Day Jihadi Suicide Bombers.
As the UK has, in typical idiotic fashion when planning further neo-colonial wars at the behest of their ZioNazi kikester masters, totally ignored applying the facility of 20/20 hindsight and scrapped its aircraft carriers – the participating RAF Tornados, having no floating runway facility in the Mediterranean, were forced to fly a 3,000 miles round trip from RAF Bellend in Norfolk and back to carry out their bombing mission – which doubtless cost the hapless British taxpayers millions in aviation fuel.
So, now we know why Scameron and Osborne have slashed the UK’s local authority budgets and welfare / housing benefits – to pay for hundreds of BMG-109 Tomahawk cruise missiles (wholesale / job lot price per unit US$569,000 each fitted with conventional HE warhead – B61 dial-a-yield nuclear warhead optional mega-bucks $$$ extra) to blast the shit out of Libya and the hapless Gaddafi’s military forces – the only thing standing in the way of the ZioNazi Western military-industrial cabal and Shylock banksters gaining control of the nation’s natural resources – which include 6 billion $$$ dollar’s worth of gold bullion plus proven reserves of 44 billion barrels of sweet, light crude oil.
Hmmm, so much for the toothless United Nations and their total disregard for a sovereign state’s right to self-determination – even if it does involve a few bloody noses and a bit of a civil war.
Let’s be entirely honest – if Libya was all sand, a few date palms, grungy goats, camels with the hump, bandy Bedouins, truculent Tuaregs and the odd oasis – and had no fucking oil - then nary a single greedy kikester fuckwit or their dog would be interested in civilian protests for democratic change – and the bonkers Colonel’s 21st Gingham Tea Towel Regiment could go on exterminating the Bolshie radicals with nary an iota of international condemnation – much the same as Bahrain, Yemen and Saudi Arabia have been currently immunised from Western- disproved sanctions or slaps on the proverbial wrist for their human rights and wrongs violations. Amen.
* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of Muslim civilian protesters were negatively affected across the entire swathe of the Greater Persian / Arabian Gulf region as despotic tyrants controlling the same - with Western banksters blessings - (Insha’ Allah) stamp the jackboot of brutality down on their ethnic protester’s sandaled toes and scrawny necks.
Oh, and by the way, fuck the Zionist Freemasons and the Project for a New American Century and their New World Order – to be established in the historic Palestinian capital city of Jerusalem.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Sunday, 20 March 2011
Plod Squad’s ‘Wrong Address’ Snafu
In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
A Smegmadale-on-Sea resident has this week registered an official compliant with the county police authorities over being repeatedly plagued by the numpty Plod Squad calling at his house to either search the premises or arrest him in error, due to a postal address mix-up.
Mr Wilf Fuctifino, of 13, Scally Terraces, told one reporter from the Fuckups Review his home had been raided by police forty-six times in the past eighteen months - more often than not in the middle of the night – due them confusing his house with a neighbouring address at Scally Alley.
Mr Fuctifino, a 69-year old retired wheelbarrow mechanic, related that during the last Christmas period the stupid plods had mistakenly barged into his house five times, disturbing friends and family as they turned the place upside-down searching for terrorist paraphernalia – then summarily arrested him on suspicion of treason.
“The fifth time woz on New Year’s Eve when they tossed the house searchin’ fer guns an’ bombs – then cos they couldn’t find fuck all I gets me sad arse tasered an’ handcuffed an’ dragged down ter the cop shop wiv a black bag over me head. Then some plain clothes twat comes an’ starts threatenin’ me with waterboardin’ if I don’t tell him where the rest of me Abu Dujana Brigade suicide pact Jihadi mates are an’ where we woz hidin’ our weapons of mass destruction.”
“So I sez ter this pillock ‘Will yer stop referrin’ ter me as Mohammed the Mad Mullah cos me effin’ name’s Wilf an’ not some Shaheed Semtex suicide vest terrorist bomber called Mohammed al Ka-Boom. I don’t know what an’ effin’ madrassa is, nor have I got any radicalised relatives in Pakistan or Afghanistan – or any fuckin’ where else wiv the name endin’ in ‘stan’.”
“An’ I’m not the local effin’ Anti-Christ either – cos if yer just after arrestin’ a few yobs yer should have a go at that bunch of Asbo wannabees wot lives down the road on the Spewall Green housin’ estate an’ leave me an' the missus alone.”
“Wot a balls-up – I know we all watch these comedy programmes on the telly, like Operation Good Guys an’ the Thin Blue Line wiv that Mr Bean bloke in charge an’ wot shows the plods up ter be a right bunch of thick wallies wiv shit fer brains - but yer don’t expect it in real life when they come round an’ kick yer door in at 3:00 o’clock in the effin morning about four times a week just cos their sat-nav systems are fucked up an’ none of the thick twats can read a map or an A to Z. Seriously, I’ve seen better organised bleedin’ riots.”
"After the first few raids two years ago we put up a sign sayin’ ‘No Muslim Terrorists Here!’, then they come an’ kick the door in again an’ some MI6 dildo starts blabberin’ away in Arabic an’ we’re all sat there like – hands on our effin’ heads – an’ tells them ‘Have yer seen the effin’ sign stuck up by the door?’ – an’ they sez that’s a regular trick wot Islamic terrorists pull ter throw the cops off the scent.”
Stop press: A mysterious deep hole has appeared in Smegmadale-on-Sea’s High Street – the police are looking into it.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
A Smegmadale-on-Sea resident has this week registered an official compliant with the county police authorities over being repeatedly plagued by the numpty Plod Squad calling at his house to either search the premises or arrest him in error, due to a postal address mix-up.
Mr Wilf Fuctifino, of 13, Scally Terraces, told one reporter from the Fuckups Review his home had been raided by police forty-six times in the past eighteen months - more often than not in the middle of the night – due them confusing his house with a neighbouring address at Scally Alley.
Mr Fuctifino, a 69-year old retired wheelbarrow mechanic, related that during the last Christmas period the stupid plods had mistakenly barged into his house five times, disturbing friends and family as they turned the place upside-down searching for terrorist paraphernalia – then summarily arrested him on suspicion of treason.
“The fifth time woz on New Year’s Eve when they tossed the house searchin’ fer guns an’ bombs – then cos they couldn’t find fuck all I gets me sad arse tasered an’ handcuffed an’ dragged down ter the cop shop wiv a black bag over me head. Then some plain clothes twat comes an’ starts threatenin’ me with waterboardin’ if I don’t tell him where the rest of me Abu Dujana Brigade suicide pact Jihadi mates are an’ where we woz hidin’ our weapons of mass destruction.”
“So I sez ter this pillock ‘Will yer stop referrin’ ter me as Mohammed the Mad Mullah cos me effin’ name’s Wilf an’ not some Shaheed Semtex suicide vest terrorist bomber called Mohammed al Ka-Boom. I don’t know what an’ effin’ madrassa is, nor have I got any radicalised relatives in Pakistan or Afghanistan – or any fuckin’ where else wiv the name endin’ in ‘stan’.”
“An’ I’m not the local effin’ Anti-Christ either – cos if yer just after arrestin’ a few yobs yer should have a go at that bunch of Asbo wannabees wot lives down the road on the Spewall Green housin’ estate an’ leave me an' the missus alone.”
“Wot a balls-up – I know we all watch these comedy programmes on the telly, like Operation Good Guys an’ the Thin Blue Line wiv that Mr Bean bloke in charge an’ wot shows the plods up ter be a right bunch of thick wallies wiv shit fer brains - but yer don’t expect it in real life when they come round an’ kick yer door in at 3:00 o’clock in the effin morning about four times a week just cos their sat-nav systems are fucked up an’ none of the thick twats can read a map or an A to Z. Seriously, I’ve seen better organised bleedin’ riots.”
"After the first few raids two years ago we put up a sign sayin’ ‘No Muslim Terrorists Here!’, then they come an’ kick the door in again an’ some MI6 dildo starts blabberin’ away in Arabic an’ we’re all sat there like – hands on our effin’ heads – an’ tells them ‘Have yer seen the effin’ sign stuck up by the door?’ – an’ they sez that’s a regular trick wot Islamic terrorists pull ter throw the cops off the scent.”
Stop press: A mysterious deep hole has appeared in Smegmadale-on-Sea’s High Street – the police are looking into it.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Saturday, 19 March 2011
Granny Savages Yobster Rip-Off Merchants
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Mrs Gnasher McTwatt, a 96-year-old grandmother and former bare knuckle boxer, who fought off two teenage yobster intruders that attempted to break into her home at Asbo Terraces on South Manchester’s Slumshawe Hamlets housing estate on March 3rd has appeared at Minshull Street Crown Court today facing charges of Reckless Affray, Grievous Bodily Harm and possession of a deadly weapon – her false teeth.
According to Prosecution testimony, the two juvenile scally complainants, who cannot be named for legal reasons (Bob the Yob and Genghis Scrunt) had posed as window cleaners operating around the Slumshawe Hamlets, Spewall Green and Stench Hill neighbourhoods and attempted to push through Mrs McTwatt’s door when she refused to consent to their cleaning her windows.
The 'Hell's Granny' of sixteen sunk her dentures into the arm of one of the youths as they tried to rip a set of gold and jewelled bangles from her wrist and a pendant from around her neck when she fought to prevent them forcing their way into her home.
Mrs McTwatt told the court under oath “I knew they woz up ter no good coz they sez they come ter clean the winders but they ain’t got any buckets or ladders. Then they sez ‘We’ll clean yer winders on the inside first’ - so I tells ‘em both ter eff’ off an’ go fuck a pig, an’ then they tried ter push me front door open an’ luckily I had me new false teeth in me apron pocket so I sticks ‘em in me gob real quick like an’ tears inter the arm of one of the gits wot’s tryin’ ter rip off me Pound Stretcher necklace wot me daughter Slugsy bought me fer Christmas.”
Pc Arthur Fuctifino of the Greater Manchester Police, giving evidence on behalf of the Crown Prosecution Service, informed the court "These youths tried to prey on the vulnerability of an elderly woman under the pretext of cleaning windows. However, being intellectually challenged, they failed to present themselves as fit for purpose – specifically, rigged out with window-cleaning kit – and hence immediately aroused suspicions that they were simply a pair of no-good scrotes out on the make and got precisely what they deserved when they attacked Mrs McTwatt and attempted to rip off her bling.”
Conversely the Prosecution’s case hinges on the fact of ‘malice aforethought’ as Mrs McTwatt did answer the door and open it - and then, without provocation – went into psycho mode and attacked both youths – whose witness statements maintain they were only collecting old clothes for charity.
Three days following the incident one of the youths (Bob the Yob) was admitted to Manchester Royal Infirmary after collapsing due dehydration brought about by a case of acute hydrophobia that had even advanced so far as to negatively affect his lager-swilling abilities - and was further diagnosed with galloping rabies – which forensic DNA tests revealed was a result of the bite wounds inflicted by Mrs McTwatt’s dentures – which she had acquired the previous week from a car boot sale at Slumshawe Park.
The case continues.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Mrs Gnasher McTwatt, a 96-year-old grandmother and former bare knuckle boxer, who fought off two teenage yobster intruders that attempted to break into her home at Asbo Terraces on South Manchester’s Slumshawe Hamlets housing estate on March 3rd has appeared at Minshull Street Crown Court today facing charges of Reckless Affray, Grievous Bodily Harm and possession of a deadly weapon – her false teeth.
According to Prosecution testimony, the two juvenile scally complainants, who cannot be named for legal reasons (Bob the Yob and Genghis Scrunt) had posed as window cleaners operating around the Slumshawe Hamlets, Spewall Green and Stench Hill neighbourhoods and attempted to push through Mrs McTwatt’s door when she refused to consent to their cleaning her windows.
The 'Hell's Granny' of sixteen sunk her dentures into the arm of one of the youths as they tried to rip a set of gold and jewelled bangles from her wrist and a pendant from around her neck when she fought to prevent them forcing their way into her home.
Mrs McTwatt told the court under oath “I knew they woz up ter no good coz they sez they come ter clean the winders but they ain’t got any buckets or ladders. Then they sez ‘We’ll clean yer winders on the inside first’ - so I tells ‘em both ter eff’ off an’ go fuck a pig, an’ then they tried ter push me front door open an’ luckily I had me new false teeth in me apron pocket so I sticks ‘em in me gob real quick like an’ tears inter the arm of one of the gits wot’s tryin’ ter rip off me Pound Stretcher necklace wot me daughter Slugsy bought me fer Christmas.”
Pc Arthur Fuctifino of the Greater Manchester Police, giving evidence on behalf of the Crown Prosecution Service, informed the court "These youths tried to prey on the vulnerability of an elderly woman under the pretext of cleaning windows. However, being intellectually challenged, they failed to present themselves as fit for purpose – specifically, rigged out with window-cleaning kit – and hence immediately aroused suspicions that they were simply a pair of no-good scrotes out on the make and got precisely what they deserved when they attacked Mrs McTwatt and attempted to rip off her bling.”
Conversely the Prosecution’s case hinges on the fact of ‘malice aforethought’ as Mrs McTwatt did answer the door and open it - and then, without provocation – went into psycho mode and attacked both youths – whose witness statements maintain they were only collecting old clothes for charity.
Three days following the incident one of the youths (Bob the Yob) was admitted to Manchester Royal Infirmary after collapsing due dehydration brought about by a case of acute hydrophobia that had even advanced so far as to negatively affect his lager-swilling abilities - and was further diagnosed with galloping rabies – which forensic DNA tests revealed was a result of the bite wounds inflicted by Mrs McTwatt’s dentures – which she had acquired the previous week from a car boot sale at Slumshawe Park.
The case continues.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Friday, 18 March 2011
UN Stooges Sanction No-Fly Zone
In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
The UK PM Posh Dave Scameron can claim the disreputable credit for instigating last night’s United Nations Security Council ‘Yea’ vote to bomb the shit out of Libya after faithfully obeying his Rothshite Zionist crime syndicate boss’s demands and going into blabberwocky mode this past week, plugging away like a fairground barker to enforce a no fly zone – ‘by all necessary measures’ - short of nuking Tripoli - to protect civilians.
This draconian policy now has the backing of that other world class bully and belligerent – the good ole United States of Israel – and various other Muppet-ruled running dog nations who daren’t disagree lest the IMF foreclose on their dodgy debts.
Hmmm, the Zionist kikester military-industrial cabal tugs on the bankster’s leash and they in turn shout “Shit!” then the politicians obediently sit up and jump on the shovel.
Conversely, the question now is how swiftly and effectively military force can be deployed to target and destroy every radar installation, communications facility, anti-aircraft gun and missile emplacements (plus mobile units), military and commercial airfields and bush landing strips - and every fixed wing aircraft which include ‘Scrapheap Challenge’ Soviet-era fighters and French Mirage F1’s – plus their helicopter gunships - with a cocktail of cruise missiles, smart bombs, cluster munitions and AGM-114D Longbow Hellfire air-to-surface missiles.
Finally, a tactical raking and peppering of the entire target areas with zillions of rounds of 30mm automatic Boeing M230 chain gun bullets will kill every fucker and their dog old enough to bleed and add a nice sanguine touch to the whole mess off pottage – which will be conspicuous from its nice ‘glow in the dark’ ambience caused by the radioactive depleted uranium munitions that have atomized back to molecular level on impact and detonation – and create yet another Fallujah ‘insta-mutant’ nightmare.
Well, with the US Sixth Fleet assigned to the Mediterranean and home ported in Gaeta, Italy and doubtless exercising prudence and due diligence by being out and about on the open waters – all 40 ships, 175 aircraft and 21,000 naval personnel – including the nuclear ordnance-equipped Nimitz-class aircraft carrier USS Harry S. Truman - we can expect aviation-related targets in Libya to start going “Ka-Fucking-Boom!” any time now.
No doubt any remaining embedded agents from MI6 and the 22nd SAS Regiment(NVQ3 Sabotage & Assassinations) who haven’t yet been captured by goat herding shepherd boys will be ready to receive the go-ahead and sabotage all and sundry on the ground level – and be in position to light up military objectives – and anything else that takes their malevolent fancy – with targeting lasers that cruise missiles and smart bombs can lock onto. And as to civilian casualties – well, that’s permitted ‘collateral damage’ – and ain’t war just hell.
Hence, sans air power, this Western-conjured no-fly zone strategy is projected to put Gaddafi’s forces on a ‘diminished’ and thus equal ‘military might’ footing with the rebels – which is forecast to bring about the mad Colonel’s ouster and the herald the installation of yet another PNAC Zionist Muppet to form a democratic system of government composed of shifty kleptomaniacs - and doubly ensure the Muslim Brotherhood are given short shrift – thus guaranteeing control of Libya’s oil reserves.
Then it’s all a matter of moving on to Algeria and Morocco – to establish the New World Order’s long-overdue North African / Mediterranean Union.
Hmmm, so much for the toothless UN’s total disregard for self-determination – for make no mistake – the belligerents pushing this no-fly zone and ensuing close quarters showdown don’t give a flying fuck how many civilian rebel forces or government troops snuff each other or who gets hurt or what infrastructure is devastated. It’s all pre-planned, just as in Iraq in 2003 – with some scumbag kikester outfit like Halliburton already tendering to rebuild on the devastation.
* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.
Thought for the day: Has Cabbage Patch Dave Scameron morphed into a clone of Tony Bliar Mk 2 – following the same path to infamy and the self-destruction of any credibility he might once have possessed?
Oh, and by the way, fuck the Zionist Freemasons and the Project for a New American Century and their New World Order.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
The UK PM Posh Dave Scameron can claim the disreputable credit for instigating last night’s United Nations Security Council ‘Yea’ vote to bomb the shit out of Libya after faithfully obeying his Rothshite Zionist crime syndicate boss’s demands and going into blabberwocky mode this past week, plugging away like a fairground barker to enforce a no fly zone – ‘by all necessary measures’ - short of nuking Tripoli - to protect civilians.
This draconian policy now has the backing of that other world class bully and belligerent – the good ole United States of Israel – and various other Muppet-ruled running dog nations who daren’t disagree lest the IMF foreclose on their dodgy debts.
Hmmm, the Zionist kikester military-industrial cabal tugs on the bankster’s leash and they in turn shout “Shit!” then the politicians obediently sit up and jump on the shovel.
Conversely, the question now is how swiftly and effectively military force can be deployed to target and destroy every radar installation, communications facility, anti-aircraft gun and missile emplacements (plus mobile units), military and commercial airfields and bush landing strips - and every fixed wing aircraft which include ‘Scrapheap Challenge’ Soviet-era fighters and French Mirage F1’s – plus their helicopter gunships - with a cocktail of cruise missiles, smart bombs, cluster munitions and AGM-114D Longbow Hellfire air-to-surface missiles.
Finally, a tactical raking and peppering of the entire target areas with zillions of rounds of 30mm automatic Boeing M230 chain gun bullets will kill every fucker and their dog old enough to bleed and add a nice sanguine touch to the whole mess off pottage – which will be conspicuous from its nice ‘glow in the dark’ ambience caused by the radioactive depleted uranium munitions that have atomized back to molecular level on impact and detonation – and create yet another Fallujah ‘insta-mutant’ nightmare.
Well, with the US Sixth Fleet assigned to the Mediterranean and home ported in Gaeta, Italy and doubtless exercising prudence and due diligence by being out and about on the open waters – all 40 ships, 175 aircraft and 21,000 naval personnel – including the nuclear ordnance-equipped Nimitz-class aircraft carrier USS Harry S. Truman - we can expect aviation-related targets in Libya to start going “Ka-Fucking-Boom!” any time now.
No doubt any remaining embedded agents from MI6 and the 22nd SAS Regiment(NVQ3 Sabotage & Assassinations) who haven’t yet been captured by goat herding shepherd boys will be ready to receive the go-ahead and sabotage all and sundry on the ground level – and be in position to light up military objectives – and anything else that takes their malevolent fancy – with targeting lasers that cruise missiles and smart bombs can lock onto. And as to civilian casualties – well, that’s permitted ‘collateral damage’ – and ain’t war just hell.
Hence, sans air power, this Western-conjured no-fly zone strategy is projected to put Gaddafi’s forces on a ‘diminished’ and thus equal ‘military might’ footing with the rebels – which is forecast to bring about the mad Colonel’s ouster and the herald the installation of yet another PNAC Zionist Muppet to form a democratic system of government composed of shifty kleptomaniacs - and doubly ensure the Muslim Brotherhood are given short shrift – thus guaranteeing control of Libya’s oil reserves.
Then it’s all a matter of moving on to Algeria and Morocco – to establish the New World Order’s long-overdue North African / Mediterranean Union.
Hmmm, so much for the toothless UN’s total disregard for self-determination – for make no mistake – the belligerents pushing this no-fly zone and ensuing close quarters showdown don’t give a flying fuck how many civilian rebel forces or government troops snuff each other or who gets hurt or what infrastructure is devastated. It’s all pre-planned, just as in Iraq in 2003 – with some scumbag kikester outfit like Halliburton already tendering to rebuild on the devastation.
* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.
Thought for the day: Has Cabbage Patch Dave Scameron morphed into a clone of Tony Bliar Mk 2 – following the same path to infamy and the self-destruction of any credibility he might once have possessed?
Oh, and by the way, fuck the Zionist Freemasons and the Project for a New American Century and their New World Order.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
Labour MP Plays Dodgy Racist Card
In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
The Labour Party Shadow Minister for Shit-Stirring, Ms Karen Phuck, was today facing irate calls for her dismissal from the Opposition front benches after she was overheard telling gutter press hacks in the House of Conmans saloon bar that the Libservative Coalition Government "Don't want a bunch of scrounging Muslim terrorist types living in central London and impersonating Brazilian electricians".
During her extraordinary verbal assault on Posh Dave’s gang, the ginger-mingin Ms Phuck (the incumbent MP for Old Scrotum in the Home Counties) also stated for the public record that elitist Tory cabinet ministers who could trace their noble robber baron ancestries back to the time of the Norman Conquest were deeply hostile to poor people having poor children.
Ms Phuck quoted super-snob Sir Irwin Sleazebag-Mountebank – Permanent Secretary at the ‘Ministry of What Can We Fuck With Next’ (and author of the worst-selling ornithology novel ‘The Life and Times of a Soft-Boiled Egg’) as saying “Well, you can’t make bespoke furniture out of firewood” – a direct reference to unemployed scally welfare benefit parasites breeding even more mini-scrotes and Asbo-ready kids to follow faithfully in their mendicant footsteps.
Baron Hamon de Mattoid, a Conservative Party Lord, opined to one reporter from the Daily Shitraker “This blabber of Ms Phuck’s is directly reminiscent of Enoch Powell’s jingoism when he was the Tory MP for Twatford-on-the-Wold, and attempted to kick-start a race war with his xenophobic Rivers of Blood speeches in 1968.”
“Old Enoch did a Chicken Little scaremongering black propaganda act about what he foresaw as the dangers of mass immigration from Commonwealth nations – and too economic migrants from Europe if Britain was ever stupid enough to sign the Maastricht Treaty and join the EUSSR.”
“Hmmm, such a pity we took no bloody notice as he was spot-on correct on all counts too. Now we have this abysmal shambles of a multi-cultural society and the bloody immigrants simply refuse to integrate. Then we've got the Polacks and Romanian gyppos squatting here just to claim benefits and gobble up any and all jobs going - by accepting half the minimum wage – not to mention those shifty Albanian pikeys poaching all the bloody swans off the Thames at Richmond.”
Last night the Conservative Party Chairman Baroness Seedy Warthog, herself the progeny of minority Paki’ immigrant types and who sports a permanent suntan, told Pox News that Ms Phuck’s comments provided clear evidence of ‘reactionary politics being alive and well in the Labour Party’ but labelled the remarks deeply offensive and called on Ed Millipede to remove Ms Phuck from Labour's frontbench.
"For Karen Phuck, as an MP, to use race, religion and class for political point-scoring against our Conservative Party is deeply offensive and irresponsible – especially as it's so close to the truth.”
However Ms Phuck went straight into a 21 gun defensive position and informed the Gobshites Review that she stood by the substance of her remarks: "I am very concerned about the impact of these cuts on blacks, browns, off-white slants, Muslims, gyppos and pikey ethnic minority households, in particular. If these people no longer have housing benefits available to top up their rental costs then they’re simply going to go back to full time thieving to pay their way and that’s all we need – a nation-wide outbreak of criminal activity – especially so when the UK’s police forces are having their ranks forcibly emasculated - thanks to Chancellor Georgie Osborne’s draconic budget cuts.”
Ms Phuck claims that Cabbage Patch Dave’s ‘Scameronomics’ and Osborne’s planned slashing of housing benefits are politically motivated to force poor, ethnic minority and Muslim families out of the centre of London.
“The Tory hierarchy don’t want lower-income women, families, children and, above all, let us be very clear – because we also know where the impact is hitting – they don't want black women, they don't want ethnic minority women and they don't want Muslim women living in central London. Okay, political correctness aside, let’s be out with it – regardless of Posh Dave Scameron’s ‘Multicultural Britain’ and ‘Big Society’ pep talks they just don't want a bunch of darkie paupers and benefit spongers cluttering up and infesting the Metropolis’s prime property market.”
“They want the unemployed and the marginalised members of society moving out of the more upscale postal code areas into the fringes of London - into places like Barking Mad and Slumborough Hamlets and Peckham and Yardie Central.”
“The unstated truth of the matter is that the Tory elite are getting all their pointers from the cabinet office’s Behavioural Insight Team – aka the ‘Nudge Unit’ – plus the Rothshite crime syndicate controlled Tavistock Institute and the venal Fabian Society think tank eugenicists – and who are adamant that their Agenda 21 policy should be adopted so that families who earn less than £40,000 a year be barred from having children. And we all know what that equates as – Nazism – with the next step being forced sterilisations.”
“This government is one that is deeply hostile to middle and lower-income women having children. When you listen to the Tories speaking in Parliament, there is this permeating arrogance and ignorance that anyone whose income is below the top rate of tax shouldn't be permitted to bear children. Now that’s the bottom line with Scameron’s ‘Big Society’ – an excuse for the tip-toe sneaking in, and the imposition of, further Big Brother controls – and the Zionist New World Order police state.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Oh, and by the way, fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
The Labour Party Shadow Minister for Shit-Stirring, Ms Karen Phuck, was today facing irate calls for her dismissal from the Opposition front benches after she was overheard telling gutter press hacks in the House of Conmans saloon bar that the Libservative Coalition Government "Don't want a bunch of scrounging Muslim terrorist types living in central London and impersonating Brazilian electricians".
During her extraordinary verbal assault on Posh Dave’s gang, the ginger-mingin Ms Phuck (the incumbent MP for Old Scrotum in the Home Counties) also stated for the public record that elitist Tory cabinet ministers who could trace their noble robber baron ancestries back to the time of the Norman Conquest were deeply hostile to poor people having poor children.
Ms Phuck quoted super-snob Sir Irwin Sleazebag-Mountebank – Permanent Secretary at the ‘Ministry of What Can We Fuck With Next’ (and author of the worst-selling ornithology novel ‘The Life and Times of a Soft-Boiled Egg’) as saying “Well, you can’t make bespoke furniture out of firewood” – a direct reference to unemployed scally welfare benefit parasites breeding even more mini-scrotes and Asbo-ready kids to follow faithfully in their mendicant footsteps.
Baron Hamon de Mattoid, a Conservative Party Lord, opined to one reporter from the Daily Shitraker “This blabber of Ms Phuck’s is directly reminiscent of Enoch Powell’s jingoism when he was the Tory MP for Twatford-on-the-Wold, and attempted to kick-start a race war with his xenophobic Rivers of Blood speeches in 1968.”
“Old Enoch did a Chicken Little scaremongering black propaganda act about what he foresaw as the dangers of mass immigration from Commonwealth nations – and too economic migrants from Europe if Britain was ever stupid enough to sign the Maastricht Treaty and join the EUSSR.”
“Hmmm, such a pity we took no bloody notice as he was spot-on correct on all counts too. Now we have this abysmal shambles of a multi-cultural society and the bloody immigrants simply refuse to integrate. Then we've got the Polacks and Romanian gyppos squatting here just to claim benefits and gobble up any and all jobs going - by accepting half the minimum wage – not to mention those shifty Albanian pikeys poaching all the bloody swans off the Thames at Richmond.”
Last night the Conservative Party Chairman Baroness Seedy Warthog, herself the progeny of minority Paki’ immigrant types and who sports a permanent suntan, told Pox News that Ms Phuck’s comments provided clear evidence of ‘reactionary politics being alive and well in the Labour Party’ but labelled the remarks deeply offensive and called on Ed Millipede to remove Ms Phuck from Labour's frontbench.
"For Karen Phuck, as an MP, to use race, religion and class for political point-scoring against our Conservative Party is deeply offensive and irresponsible – especially as it's so close to the truth.”
However Ms Phuck went straight into a 21 gun defensive position and informed the Gobshites Review that she stood by the substance of her remarks: "I am very concerned about the impact of these cuts on blacks, browns, off-white slants, Muslims, gyppos and pikey ethnic minority households, in particular. If these people no longer have housing benefits available to top up their rental costs then they’re simply going to go back to full time thieving to pay their way and that’s all we need – a nation-wide outbreak of criminal activity – especially so when the UK’s police forces are having their ranks forcibly emasculated - thanks to Chancellor Georgie Osborne’s draconic budget cuts.”
Ms Phuck claims that Cabbage Patch Dave’s ‘Scameronomics’ and Osborne’s planned slashing of housing benefits are politically motivated to force poor, ethnic minority and Muslim families out of the centre of London.
“The Tory hierarchy don’t want lower-income women, families, children and, above all, let us be very clear – because we also know where the impact is hitting – they don't want black women, they don't want ethnic minority women and they don't want Muslim women living in central London. Okay, political correctness aside, let’s be out with it – regardless of Posh Dave Scameron’s ‘Multicultural Britain’ and ‘Big Society’ pep talks they just don't want a bunch of darkie paupers and benefit spongers cluttering up and infesting the Metropolis’s prime property market.”
“They want the unemployed and the marginalised members of society moving out of the more upscale postal code areas into the fringes of London - into places like Barking Mad and Slumborough Hamlets and Peckham and Yardie Central.”
“The unstated truth of the matter is that the Tory elite are getting all their pointers from the cabinet office’s Behavioural Insight Team – aka the ‘Nudge Unit’ – plus the Rothshite crime syndicate controlled Tavistock Institute and the venal Fabian Society think tank eugenicists – and who are adamant that their Agenda 21 policy should be adopted so that families who earn less than £40,000 a year be barred from having children. And we all know what that equates as – Nazism – with the next step being forced sterilisations.”
“This government is one that is deeply hostile to middle and lower-income women having children. When you listen to the Tories speaking in Parliament, there is this permeating arrogance and ignorance that anyone whose income is below the top rate of tax shouldn't be permitted to bear children. Now that’s the bottom line with Scameron’s ‘Big Society’ – an excuse for the tip-toe sneaking in, and the imposition of, further Big Brother controls – and the Zionist New World Order police state.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Oh, and by the way, fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
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