Rogue Afghan Guards Snuff Police Chief

Forty-one US military trained Afghan guards, working for American private security firm Slackbladder / Xe have been arrested following a shootout in which Kandahar's provincial police chief was killed.

Over fifty other policemen were snuffed and wounded after the Slackbladder / Xe guards, who are employed by US security forces, entered the Attorney General’s office at the Kandahar city prison - locked and loaded - and opened fire when told they would have to make an appointment and come back another day.

Afghanistan’s US muppet President Hamid Karzai told Pox News “I am going to write a very nasty letter to President O’Barmy about this matter.”

“They are supposed to be here to make sure our opium crops are safe from Taliban Dan and his bands of mad fanatics, not go around killing my policemen.”
“Well, what can be expected – trigger-happy guards trained by gung-ho trigger-happy Yanks – a recipe for disaster.”

Rumours abound that the Slackbladder / Xe guards, who are tasked with overseeing the safe growing, harvest and shipment of opium in Afghanistan, turned up at the Attorney General’s office to secure the release of several of their tribal colleagues who has been arrested for ‘drug smuggling’ after being caught in possession of a truck load of narcotic rhubarb at the Pakistan border.

When the police chief Silliman al Mattress and the head of the criminal investigation department Abdul bin Bonkin refused to release their criminal cohorts a fire fight ensued.

Although working for Slackbladder / Xe the guards are paid and trained by the US military, and while they are recognised by the Afghan government they do not come under their command.

Local peasants refer to these guards as Afghan ‘special forces’ as they are well-armed and kitted out with actual uniforms and ‘boots’ – and always have plenty of ammunition to blast anyone who gets in their way.

The Nato-led military forces spokesman in Kabul, Colonel Billy Bob Warthog, confirmed to the Pox News that there had been "some sort of an incident" at the prison - with a deep crater being blasted in the prison yard by a bomb - which investigators were now looking into.”