Monday, 27 July 2009

Pro-Dom Prison Officer ‘Too Pretty’

A female prison officer was forced out of her job after being bullied because she was considered too pretty to enforce discipline, a Smegmadale Employment Tribunal heard this week.

Fellatia Sodomberg, 27, a former Albanian BD/SM Pro-Dominatrix, is claiming constructive dismissal and suing Justice Secretary Jack Straw and HM Prison Service after being forced to desert her position at the Smegmadale-on-Sea based Scumbags Young Offenders Holiday Camp.

However one former colleague questioned her behaviour with male inmates and suggested she chose to reject advice about the statuary prison officer’s uniform dress code by wearing black leather mini skirts, suspenders and see-through blouses with a peep-hole bra.
It was further alleged many of the teenage inmates knew where she lived and visited her home when granted ‘good behaviour’ weekend passes.

Chief Prison Officer Ghengis McTwat, who worked with Ms Sodomberg, told the Tribunal "I heard that the area in which she lived and her personal address were common knowledge amongst the inmates."

Rupert Thort-Nott QC, counsel for Ms Sodomberg, accused McTwat of shouting aggressively at his client in an incident where she had simply followed one of his orders to the letter when instructed by McTwat to severely punish one inmate for prostituting himself in a group buggery session.
Apparently Ms Sodomberg did so by stringing him up by his thumbs and sticking red chillis up his rectum.

Her counsel further accused McTwat of threatening behaviour after Ms Sodomberg became stressed out with being verbally harangued and kicked him squarely in the bollocks then lodged a complaint of institutional bullying.

Chlamydia Skank, a female prison officer who took induction at the prison with Ms Sodomberg, said the former Dominatrix did not follow advice regarding hair and make-up and claimed the uniform she wore was snugly fitted and made her appear very sexy.

Mr. Thort-Nott countered Ms. Skank’s testimony as biased due jealousy of Ms. Sodomberg’s curvaceous figure and alluring personal charm whereas her own social skills were on the level of a rutting pig, and her couch potato physique comparable to a sack of shit tied in the middle.

One prisoner called to give evidence on behalf of the Scumbags Young Offenders prison staff – Freddie Barbarossa – a 16-year old Asbo gold medallist and mass murderer from Scrotum-on-the-Wold in Sussex, told the Tribunal : “Ms. Sodomberg woz great. If any of us woz naughty like she used ter order us ter drop our pants an’ bend over an’ gave us a whack across the arse wiv ‘er riding crop while she squeezed yer nuts sack – wot a turn-on.”

“An’ if we woz good fer a month she got us a weekend pass to go down to ‘er place fer a cheese an’ wine party an’ ‘ave a good sniff at ‘er Oh!-zone layer.”
“Bondage an’ forced pussy lickin’ – now that’s wot the British penal system’s lackin’ – a touch of Ms. Fellatia’s style of rehabilitation discipline – well, it works fer me anyway.”

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