Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Scameron Claims Libservative Coalition ‘Sound’

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Due a synaptic pothole in his cerebral cortex causing a lapse in his customary practiced sophistry, Broken Britain’s incumbent PM, Posh Dave Scameron, a subservient Rothshite crime syndicate Zionist marionette, finally loses his grip on actual reality, goes into self-deception mode and claims that the Tory’s marriage of convenience ‘Libservative Coalition’ partnership with Nick ‘Sell-Out’ Clegg and his Lib-Dum Turncoat Party is a great success and able to stand the ravages of political in-fighting and the daily bombardments of insults and home truths from their New Labour opposition led by Ed Millipede and his gang of losers.

Speaking to one press hack from the Daily Shitraker, Scameron insisted that the government is united, in spite of a loose-lips slip from the Tory Party co-chairman Sir Armitage Shanks suggesting that a coalition with the Librarian Dummercrats was the biggest political fuck up since Neville Chamberlain’s ‘Policy of Appeasement’ provided Hitler with an excuse to not only annex Austria and the Sudetenland but also invade Poland.

Such negative comments follow heated debates and protracted wrangling over plans to restructure the NHS in England so that GPs gain greater power to waste money and private firms can pursue the acceptable Third World practice of paying ‘facilitation fees’ (bribes) when competing for contracts to provide services and flog Big Pharma’s toxic vaccines and not-fit-for-purpose drugs.

On top of this quagmire of conflict are niggling disagreements over the pledged EUSSR membership referendum, the hiking of further education tuition fees, muddled terrorist legislation, and the one-sided US-UK extradition treaty still threatening the likes of UFO hacker Garry McKinnon but due asinine EUSSR human rights regulations being rendered impotent to deport the Muslim terrorist cleric Captain Hook and his pirate gang.

In addition we have the Lords reform bill, higher income tax threshold rates, soaring fuel prices and utility bills, welfare benefits slashed, draconian Big Brother surveillance laws – and not forgetting that main bone of political contention – VAT and the ‘Pasty Tax’.

Then, to cap it all, former Lib Dum leader Lord Cashdown has had the gall to publicly raise concerns over the perverse strategy of the Tories to introduce legislation to allow GCHQ and the bent security services to monitor the common herd demographics’ boring phone calls, e-mails and text messages without warrants or restraint.

In recent weeks the Cabinet Office’s simmering cauldron of discontent has come close to boiling over, with several Lib Dum MPs raising concerns regarding Conservative Chancellor George Osborne's decision to lower the top rate of income tax from 50 pence in the pound to 45 pence simply to please zillionaire Tory Cabinet ministers and the party’s super-rich offshore tax haven donors - such as the notorious penny-pinching Lord Scumm of Belize who spends most of his time in a housing benefit funded council flat in east London’s Slumborough Hamlets yet still claims expatriate status to avoid HMRC income tax.

On Monday, Tory Party co-Chairperson Baroness Seedy Warthog informed the BBC’s Andrew ‘Bat-Ears’ Marr during an interview on his prime time ‘You’ll Never Believe It’ programme that the Conservatives were delivering a clear policy direction but then the Lib Dum’s naïve political principles regarding neo-imperialist expansionism in the Mid-East and Africa - and the implementing of the New World Order schedule and the Agenda 21 mass population cull - was a potential source of future conflicts.

Asked about the Lib Dum’s Business Secretary Vince Cable's criticism of the government's decision to cap tax relief on charitable donations, Warthog replied: “Actually in Vince’s case, he needs to think about checking into one of those nice retirement homes where care workers in white coats come round and make you cups of tea and nod their heads when you complain – then go ‘tut-tut’ and give you a swift slap round the head as the CCTV camera swings in the other direction.”

Baroness Warthog, getting into the swing of her customary back-stabbing routine, then likened the Lib Dum’s party president, Tim Ferret, who has criticised every Coalition policy to date, as a bad episode of Come Dine With Me.
"Really, I don't think it's nice for people to come along, sit at your table, eat your food and then slag you off in the cab home by saying the meal tasted like dogshit. I ask you, who knows what dogshit tastes like? But that is what Mr Ferret is saying – that the Tories are a pile of dogshit – and that is not conducive to a productive partnership."

Conversely, Scabby Bertin, Scameron’s Downing Street spokeswoman, informed gutter press hacks that during Wednesday's cabinet meeting there had been an actual all-out mutual agreement which indicated that the fantasy ‘marriage of convenience’ Coalition was working well. Apparently when the shout went up for a lunch break everybody voted for fish and chips from Pikey Pete’s Seafood Emporium on Whitehall - and gave a unanimous thumbs down to a round robin order of kebabs from Achmed’s Chew n Spew on Richmond Terrace – as they all had a dose of the screaming shits following the last evening session’s take-away.

In response, Baz McScally director of the government abuse monitor Scum-Watch opined to the media “It’s all a load of old bollocks really cos Mick Clogg an’ his Lib-Dums are all dyed-in-the-wool blue-nosed Tory defectors now.”
“If the country had bin run properly in the first place there wouldn’t be this effin’ mess of a Debtocracy caused through the mishandlin’ of the economy by Tony Bliar and Gordon Broon – an’ that manipulative venal twat Peter Scandalson – wot’s now vermin in ermine an’ sat in the Lords as a reward fer his crimes.”

“So that’s wot we’re up against – a Debtocracy an’ getting’ sucked dry by the Rothshite crime syndicate bankster’s an’ the vampire squid IMF. Then they’re selling off our once-sceptred isles resources an’ established public agencies ter privatised ‘profit-first and last’ corporations wot don’t give a flyin’ fuck about pro-bono or the British public.”
“Regardless of who’s runnin’ the place – Tories, Labour or Lib-Dums – all of them is gonna be fieldin’ an intrusive and authoritarian government and diving headlong inter a policy of EUSSR federalisation – an’ it’s gonna be water cannons an’ tear gas an’ baton rounds – an’ then jail fer the social activists and political opponents sufferin’ from oppositional defiance disorder.”

“An’ this is wot Scameron an’ his gang of tosspots are shit scared of. Their main threat perception right now is the common herd getting’ fed up ter the gills wiv the abysmal state of the nation an’ incite a violent rebellion ter drastically change the order of things – startin’ wiv the den of graft and corruption known as the House of Conmans – and that adjacent cesspit - the effin’ Lords.”

Thought for the day: The Lib-Dums. Beware the electorate’s collective wrath. For their duplicity they’ll all be out of a job come the next election.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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