House of Lords Renamed ‘Den of Thieves’

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Just as civil rights observers were wondering what abuse of privilege Broken Britain’s crooked politicos would get caught red-handed at next, we have the exposure of David Maclean, a bent porridge wog elevated to the title of Lord Blencathra by PM Posh Dave Scameron in February 2011, being paid by the graft and corruption-ridden government of the Cayman Islands to represent the interests of its financial services industry – despite the sore thumb conflict of interest that he is eligible to vote on legislation affecting the offshore tax fiddle territory.

However Maclean, the former Tory MP for Penrith, (whose true constituency was the Fortune 500 company index) and the type of person that gives yobs and muggers a bad name, apparently pleads ‘not guilty’ and sees no wrong nor conflict of interests using his House of Lords seat to forward agendas of bribery and corruption by lobbying for foreign governments and money-grasping commercial interests, while claiming the maximum expenses possible (£5,500 quid per month) from the British taxpayer’s purse.

Inquiries by the Daily Shitraker have established that Blencathra, in his unqualified arrogance, has lobbied on behalf of the Caymans while claiming thousands of pounds in taxpayer-funded House of Lords attendance allowances.

Since being elevated to the Upper House, Blencathra has abused his position to personally lobby Chancellor George Osborne to reduce the burden of air passenger transport taxes on the Caymans – then facilitated an all-expenses-paid trip to the Caymans for three senior MPs with an interest in the islands over the Easter recess, including the chairman of the influential Conservative backbench 1922 Committee – all of whom are followers of the Church of Mammon - the Cayman Islands official religion.

Blencathra / Maclean, forever marred by the fact he was a devoted Thatcherite, and known to friends and associates alike as a ‘right scumbag’ and ‘a penny-grubbing Scot’, will perhaps be best remembered for his dubious reserves of human empathy when stating for the public record on the subject of charity: “Beggars - I always give them something – specifically a piece of my mind.”

So let the record of history show Maclean as a consummate snob who has little time for British peasantry in general, considering it below his dignity to mix with them – even when he required their votes come election time – but had no compunction over joining his Masonic political pals in robbing the public piggy bank to boost his bloated Parliamentary salary.

A graduate of Aberdeen’s Wilkins Micawber Institute of Creative Accountancy, Maclean revised the Malthusian concept of how to keep milking the cow without feeding it into a fine art when padding his personal Parliamentary expenses.

To wit, when it comes to a reputation for personal dishonesty Maclean was reported in the Daily Shitraker as having spent more than £20,000 quid improving his farmhouse under the Additional Costs Allowance (ACA) scheme before selling it for £750,000 nicker.
Following the sale Maclean, armed with his customary brazen hubris, had the audacity to flip his second home allowance to a £550,000 quid flat in Westminster.
Hence he feloniously claimed the £20 grand by designating the property as his second home with the House of Conmans authorities, yet failed to pay capital gains tax on the sale due conning HMRC into believing it was his main home.

So, little wonder MacLean was one of the 98 MPs who pushed the vote to keep details of their dodgy Parliamentary expense a secret and away from the eyes of public scrutiny via the Freedom of Information Act. Hmmm, here we are slapped squarely in the face with yet another negative example of the elitist fraternity and their absurd sense of entitlement.

Within the Oxford English Dictionary’s indexed lexicon of 750,000-plus words there is none that accurately describes Lord Blencathra nor his greed-ridden condition - however it has been unanimously agreed by a synod of fellow peers that the word CUNT comes pretty close.

Thought for the day. To conclude, Maclean/ Blencathra doesn’t qualify for a slot in the index of Linnaean taxonomy, and, being so crooked and bent, if he dropped dead there would be no need to dig a grave as the undertaker could simply wind him into the cemetery turf alike a corkscrew.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.