Thursday, 12 April 2012

Capt Hook up for Extradition to Great Satan

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The iconic children’s favourite antagonist, the evil Captain Hook - a JM Barrie character from his ‘Terrorist Tales for Toddlers’ bedtime story series - is finally set to be deported to the good ole US of A where he’ll be subjected to a round of kinky ‘water sports’ games and the odd ‘Deadleg’ and ‘Chinese burn’ to make him tell the truth about who killed Cock Robin – and why he really hates our democratic freedoms.

The European Court of Human Rights has finally backed the extradition of Captain Hook (real name Abu Hamster) and several other equally horrid Jolly Jihad Muslim terrorist suspects from the UK to the Great Satan.
Following months of veiled threats, outright political coercion and prodding with sharp sticks, members of the Strasbourg court have finally been convinced by UK authorities that extradition would present no violation of human rights for Hook and his cohorts - who face life terms and solitary confinement in Colorado’s ‘Sodomite’s Paradise’ ADMAX super-security prison.

Prime Minister Posh Dave Scameron, speaking to one press hack from the False Flag Gazette during his trade mission flight to Japan to boost the sale of radiation suits and iodine tablets to Fuckupshima residents, confided he was "rather chuffed" with the news.
"It's quite right that we have a proper legal process with the 2003 Extradition Act although sometimes you can get very frustrated by how long things take to get rid of nasty one-eyed oicks like Hook – or Hamster – whatever other alias he’s hiding behind. So good riddance to him and his tribe of dependents who’ve so far cost Broken Britain £2.75 million quid in welfare payments, council housing benefit, NHS and prison bills, trials and legal appeals.”

Captain Hook, an Egyptian cleric who preached a radical brand of militant Islamic Jihadism, is charged not only with repeated acts of piracy on the High Seas and the keel-hauling of Peter Pan, but offences relating to plots to attack the outlaw Zionist state of Israel and the US with weapons of mass distraction - plus setting up a terrorist training camp behind the Pestco Extra supermarket branch in Croydon, and issuing fatwas against his political opponents around the Brighton and Hove area.

Hook, a former Imam at the Twatsbury Park Mosque, also conspired with the Old Etonian MI6 double agent, Bonkers Boris Nonsense, to engineer the ouster of London Mayor Red Ken Livingroom and initiate the creation of a caliphate to rule the City’s Square Mile, then destroy whatever was left of British democracy after Tony Bliar’s New Labour Party had done its worst.

Hook faces further charges of being behind the 2002 hostage taking in Neverland at the Lost Boys Orphanage – several of whom were forced to walk the plank – and the kidnapping of CIA agent Wendy Darling – outed by rogue Zionist neo-con agents at Langley as payback for her exposure of their Niger ‘cheesecake’ dodgy dossier scam – who the lecherous Muslim cleric turned into a three-hole sex slut to sate his perverted carnal fetishes.

Also approved for extradition along with Hook are his muhijadeen crew, consisting of boatswain Bartholomew Quigley Smeethington (aka Mohammed Smee), Achmed the Gerbil, Barbar Blacksheep, Haroon Arsewipe, Tiswas ibn Himar, Shaheed Kess Emakk and Istimna Bala’a il A’air.

Thought for the day: So, will Captain Hook’s final words, as he boards a covert CIA extraordinary rendition flight from Smegmadale’s RAF Shitcreek Airfield to Guantanamo Bay, be the classic adieu of ‘Floreat Etona’ – or a simple, yet fittingly vulgar, two-fingered Harvey Smith salute? (handcuffs permitting).

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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