Speaker’s Slut Tagged ‘Bedsheet Bercow’

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Stretching her natural proclivity for self-promotion to the ultimate in extremes, Mrs Sally Bercow, the vulgarian wife of the House of Conmans Speaker, posed for revealing pictures in a glossy ‘masturbation aid’ magazine and candidly discussed the aphrodisiac effect of politics on her nymphomaniac nature.

The photograph, taken in one of the mirrored ceiling ‘theme rooms’ of the ‘Slut Hut Motel’, directly opposite Parliament Square – a notorious afternoon rendezvous favourite for gay guardsmen and fudging MPs - shows the Speaker’s strumpet clad in a white satin bedsheet and leering lecherously at the camera while suggestively ‘gamming’ a free trade banana with her reptilian tongue and Groundhog G800 burst tyre lips.

During the photo-shoot and interview, for which she posed wrapped only in the semi-transparent article of bedding and wearing a pair of ankle socks – all commissioned by Ozzie publisher Dirty Dicky Desmond’s ‘Speaker’s Wives’ soft porno’ magazine - the ginger mingin 7 foot-6 inch tall Amazon spouse of Parliamentary Speaker John Bercow, claimed that being so close to the heart of political power had turned her into a raving nympho’.

Known around Westminster by the disparaging sobriquet of ‘Shagbag Sally’, the piranha-toothed slut has a disreputable habit of thinking with her genitalia and not her brain – with her promiscuous blabber qualifying cause for her to be scandalously described as a cross between Messalina and a Peckham crack whore – and being more full of shit than a Christmas goose.

Initially, when the magazine article and accompanying scandalous photos were first published she was reported to be dying of embarrassment and described herself – quite correctly - as a “stupid slapper” – then minutes later added “It’s a great pic though – did anyone get a hard-on?”

The egoistic Bercow, who met her Speaker husband John while she was playing as a prop forward for England in the Hong Kong Rugby Sevens Tournament, pompously – and disingenuously - describes herself as a ‘writer and broadcaster’, was a former (failed) New Labour local council candidate for Doggers Wood – and despite never having held elected office has acquired a bigger public profile than the majority of expense-fiddling MPs for her licentious pantomime antics.

Within weeks of hubby John assuming office as Speaker of the House of Conmans, Mrs Bercow blew £45,581.00 of taxpayer’s money refurbishing their grace and favour apartment in the Palace of Westminster. Her hedonistic demands included a bigger HD telly, total redecoration, a jacuzzi, a ‘Do Me’ fetish sex chair and a vibrating Sybian ‘sex saddle’.

Previous revelations concerning her private life and unqualified arrogance when criticising Coalition ministers (she recently referred to Chancellor George Osborne as a “Poofter” and a “Dildo”) – have caused controversy around Westminster and resulted in her being labelled with the further derogatory moniker of ‘Gobshite Sally’ – especially so since the odd couple moved into the Speaker’s apartments in the Palace of Westminster and she complained that Big Ben’s chimes kept her awake at night – ringing up Parliament’s maintenance department and demanding “Will some cunt turn that effin’ clock off!”

However Shagbag Sally, labelled by critics as a ‘pisspot’ and an ‘attention addict’, might be better remembered in the annals of promiscuous infamy for her days at Oxford, where she earned a coveted pair of ‘Full Blues’ for ‘bare knuckle boxing’ and ‘suck n swallow fellattio’ - and still found time to fulfil the ‘social secretary’ post duties at the University’s Conservative Association.
It was subsequently reported in the salacious pages of the Daily Shitraker that during her time as ‘social secretary’ she organised several events for which the OUCA booked male strippers and swan-roasting Albanian gigolos – and was video-cammed cavorting semi-naked with a stripper as he performed in front of the Oxford Conservative Townswomen’s Guild.

What she couldn’t have known when she hopped up on stage to join ‘Terry the Minder’ was that he would later gain national notoriety as the Black Cab rapist John Worboys - dubbed by the Met’s Plod Squad as "Britain's Number One serial rapist”.

Thought for the day: According to a most pertinent question posed by a Tory back bencher - who claimed to be very cagey about women that wear jock straps and smell of Old Spice aftershave - apart from the fact Shagbag Sally never completed her Oxford degree course, one ponders if the fact she ‘engaged’ with stripper Terry the Minder live on stage is also excluded from her dodgy CV?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.