Big Pharma’s Codex Alimentarius Scam

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

While legion of petitions and protests condemning Codex Alimentarius are being purposely ignored with criminal malice aforethought, thousands of traditional and imported natural remedies, currently on the shelves of health food shops and herbalists right across the 27 nation totalitarian European community, are set to be banned under draconic new licensing legislation enacted and imposed by Brussels’ corrupt politicians to appease the avaricious Big Pharma cartel.

This latest dystopic EUSSR directive disingenuously aims to protect users from any damaging side-effects that can arise from taking medicines unsuitable for the human body – even those sourced from the heart of Mother Nature herself – with only high quality, long-established and scientifically safe and approved medicines – obviously those produced solely by Big Pharma-controlled companies - being available over the counter or via prescription.

As of the first of May 2011 this idiotic and criminal EUSSR directive will be enforced, under which all such products must be licensed, following fears that some alternative medicine / natural remedy products could cause members of the public suffering chronic ill-health conditions to actually get well and stop going to see their GP on a weekly basis to have their regular prescription for exorbitantly-priced Big Pharma synthetic drugs renewed.

Producers and independent health store owners alike have howled and cried “Foul!” from the rooftops - alas, to no avail, against this scandalous Codex Alimentarius – which they rightly claim is draconian and skewed in favour of the Big Pharma cabal.
However, under the cloak of deceit that they’re out to protect the public’s interests, the EUSSR’s Ministry for Graft & Corruption in Brussels has decided that only Big Pharma knows best - and millenniums of herbal pharmacopoeia and natural healing lore are to be thrown to the wind.

Now, not only do these ruling fascists want to decimate the global population of what their supremely arrogant eugenicists term as useless eaters, with their engineered plagues and toxic vaccines, they further want to deny us the right to high potency vitamins and to cure ourselves via the knowledge of our community apothecaries, with the traditional proven and time-honoured herbal remedies of Nature herself.

Codex Almentarius has been feloniously scripted in entirety by the global Big Pharma cartel and is designed to negatively affect the public’s God-given right to personal choice and hand over the control of natural remedies to the pharmaceutical giants – the only ones who will be able to afford the licensing fees mandated to process a few nettle leaves into a refreshing and nervine-boosting tonic tea infusion.

Mr Flip Flop Fong and his wife Sue Doku run The Chinese Herbal Factory, a manufacturer of natural remedies at Smegmadale-on-Sea, and forecast that smaller firms like their own will be squeezed out of the market altogether.

Fong told one reporter from the Scandalmongers Review “Okay, so shit happens but we will have to close down because of this fucked up legislation. The problem for us is that although we would have to pay many thousands of pounds for a stupid EUSSR licence to keep processing each product, unlike any of the greedy Big Pharma drug companies who even want to patent our DNA and fresh air and drinking water, we would not have a licence to make that product exclusively. So fuck it all, we go back to China where there’s no problem with herbal medicine.”

However, Ronnie Scamford, director of the EUSSR’s Medicines and Healthcare Products Regulatory Agency, rejects any suggestions that the Big Pharma-inspired legislation is draconian.
“Just cos yer Granny told yer ter rub a dock leaf on yer leg where yer got stung wiv a bunch of nettles don’t mean ter say it’s effin’ safe – it could cause cancer an’ then who’s ter blame when some kid’s leg drops off, eh?”
“It’s like all this Oriental herbal medicine an’ acupuncture an’ shit – drinkin’ snake bile an’ crocodile snot – or stickin’ needles in yer an’ sayin’ it’s good fer yer – what a pile of bullshit.”

Conversely Dr Irwin Bogbrush, a professor of Medicinal Botanicals at Yokeldale’s prestigious Silage University, opined to one reporter from the Compost Heap Gazette that the changes were of limited value because the rules did not require the pharmaceutical giants to show any evidence of whether the newly licensed products were effective, and hence were as much use as tits on a bull.

“Why they want to mess around with thousands of years of traditional and established natural medicine would be beyond me to comprehend – apart from the all too obvious monopolistic and massive profit motives. Once Codex Alimentarius comes into force in May, then where am I supposed to buy my regular fixes of Horny Goat Weed from, I ask you?”

“Seriously, we don’t have a National Health Service but a National Sickness Service that caters to Big Pharma by treating symptoms and not the cause - sick care and not health care. Nor do our GPs promote good health but treat ill health until it becomes a chronic state of affairs and the patients are tied to Big Pharma’s exorbitantly-priced pills – that have less chance of working than herbal cures. I mean to say, giving patients Warfarin rat poison to keep the blood thin – this shit kills rodents and it’s supposed to be good for humans – I don’t think.”

“As it isn’t commercially viable or in Big Pharma’s interests to have medicines available that actually cure people, they’ve evolved their corporate strategies so they thrive on a nation – nay, a global population - of sickies – and wish to maintain this status quo as the primary source of their bloated profit system.
The likes of acupuncturists and herbalists are pure anathema to them – curing people. Especially so the established Chinese principle of natural health care – where you pay the herbal practitioner to keep you well and then if you get sick, they pay you.”

Do you believe anything your local GP tells you? Would you take a daily dose of rat poison prescribed by your dodgy doctor or prefer a herbal cure from some pikey granny with one eye and less teeth than a chicken?

Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a free National Health Service coffin, hand-crafted from recycled tea chests by Pakistani school children in Karachi under the government’s Happy Sweat Shop Job Creation scheme.

* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Thought for the day: Back in 1975, a generation and a bit ago, the CEO of drug giant Manky Merck, stated for the public record that the Big Pharma cartel were PR spinning and scheming up a propaganda campaign to sell a line of drugs to people who had no identifiable illnesses. Then came along the psychotropics and statins – and the biggest windfall for the pharmaceutical monopolists ever – and the answer to the globalist’s dream – a method of introducing Huxley’s Brave New World’s dystopian mass medications – the intellect suppressor Soma.

To conclude: What profit is there in ’curing’ an illness or disease when you can carry on ‘treating’ it with a variety of medications forever more. So, fuck Big Pharma and the New World Order’s eugenics depopulation programme.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.