Arab State Brutality: Mentored by Britain

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

There is an expanding pall of anger and resentment amongst UK human rights and wrongs groups over the enmeshed relationship between the brutal dynastic Gulf regimes posing as legitimate governments and the British police and military after weeks of democracy protests across the Arab world that have met with copious lashings (sic) of violent state repression on a grand fascist scale using deadly force anti-riot weaponry supplied with the export endorsement of the UK’s conscienceless money-grubbing government.

As demonstrators in Bahrain and Libya attended the mass funerals of their comarades and faced armed riot police and troops yesterday, campaign groups called on Posh Dave Scameron’s Libservative coalition government to re-evaluate whether Britain should be so heavily involved in the training of moronic raghead police and military forces who haven’t a fucking clue what the term ‘democracy’ means.

In the past two years British police have helped to train their imbecilic counterparts in Bahrain, Libya, Abu Dhabi, Kuwait, Qatar, Oman and Saudi Arabia through schemes run by the National Policing Improvement Agency (NPIA), which organises overseas training and screens videos of policing actions within the UK illustrating how to kettle crowds of Bolshie students protesting exorbitant hikes in tuition fees – and how to inflict the feared ‘Five Minute Death-Touch’ innovated by career sadist PC Simon Harwood – his unique ‘Strike-Cripple-Snuff’ manoeuver - on innocent passers-by at anti-G20 demonstrations – now known internationally as the ‘Tomlinson Chop’.

Since his April 2009 debut display of ‘violent thuggery’, in which he was filmed attacking G20 protester Nicola Fisher with a telescopic steel baton, Sgt Delboy Stinkie has personally toured the Middle East and various North African autocratic shitholes, instructing local police forces how to disable a 110 pound woman armed with an orange juice carton – and immobilise Brazilian electricians with a single 15 round clip of 9mm parabellum ammunition fired point blank from a Glock G19 SAF handgun.

At present, there are three full-time advisers from the Met’s Renta-Thug Brigade working with the Bahraini ‘Plod Squad’ – (who were heavily implicated in the violent crackdown on protests in Manama this week) – providing instruction on how to wield and swing a pick axe shaft efficiently to fracture collar bones and kneecaps yet still leave the protester conscious enough to plead for mercy, pay an on-the-spot fine , and crawl to the nearest hospital - or mortuary - under his - or her - own steam.

Since the warming of relations between Libya and Britain following the contrived release of the ‘death’s doorstep’ Lockerbie bomber Ali al-Megrahi two years ago – (who miraculously ‘got well’ and is currently running a 'gays only' tourist B & B in Benghazi) - UK Met plods and military officers have travelled frequently to Tripoli to train Ghaddafi’s teams of crowd-supression thugs in the dark arts of gratuitous violence – with the Foreign Office authorising the export of tear gas, rubber bullets, coronary-inducing Tasers, small-arms ammunition and ‘door-breaching projectile launchers’ – commonly supplied under the designation of ‘tanks’ or ‘howitzers’.

Following Megrahi’s release from bonny Scotland’s ‘Smiley Face’ Greenock Prison in 2009, Libya has blessed the UK’s armaments industry with mega-bucks orders for all kinds of nasty shit, including vehicles armed with water cannons and scores of the famous ‘Black Maria’ 4 x 4 riot vans favoured by tyrannic and repressive military regimes the world over – which have been present during the recent protest crackdowns in Tripoli and loaded with hundreds of bodies destined for the nearest landfill site.

To add to Britain’s shame and record of hypocrisy regarding human rights abuses, there is the long-standing connection between the UK and the despotic Arab regimes that send scores of officers for training at the Sandhurst Royal Military Academy. Five current Arab heads of state are Sandhurst alumni, including the King of Bahrain, Sheikh Hamad bin Nastygit, who only days ago ordered the violent crackdown against his own citizens.

Other Arab autocrats who have undergone military training in Britain to become an officer – even if not a gentleman - include King Abdullah ibn Himar Shitbagg of Jordan; the Emir of Kuwait, Sheikh Saad al-Abdullah bin Goatbonker; the Sultan of Oman, Qaboos Liwat ibn Zamel; and the Emir of Qatar, Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer.

Fellattia Titwank, the UK director of Ox-Rat, the human rights abuse watchdog, informed one reporter from the Extraordinary Rendition Gazette that "Fer me, it’s a real fuckin’ worry an’ highly symbolic of this cosy relationship that countries like the UK and the USA have wiv these repressive regimes wot torture people just fer a bit of a laugh.”
"The British Government reckons it insists on incorporatin’ human rights elements in its overseas trainin’ programmes yet when it comes ter dealin’ wiv peaceful protesters all this is in one ear an’ out the other – same as Bahrain an’ Lybia. Men wiv guns = 100. Protesters wiv no guns = 0. Match replay cancelled.”

“Regardless of how effin’ many they shoot, all these marginalised and disaffected peasants, First World to Third World – and any other shithole in between - are fed up of bein’ misruled and exploited by oligarchs and plutocrats wot maintain power by force of arms, bribery, graft and corruption – by any means required – and at any costs ter keep their hedonistic own end ‘up’ and that of the opposition perpetually down.”

“These symptoms are now reachin’ a critical mass state, primarily across North Africa an’ the Middle East, an’ are ready ter erupt in a cataclysmic chain reaction proportionate ter the sum total of past privations and sufferings under the dictatorial misrule of dynastic despots an’ their pisspot panjandrums. On wiv the Revolution an’ the Day of the Rope, brothers!”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.