Scameron’s 'Big Society' Defined

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Cabbage Patch Dave Scameron’s constantly harping on about his ‘passion’ – no, not Sammy with the nice tits and the double-bubble ass – but this ‘Big Society’ that’s going to be run by zillions of currently unemployed and retired peasant types once Number 10’s cabinet ‘Behavioural Insight Team’ (aka the ‘Nudge-Nudge Unit’) of Common Purpose social engineers, ex-Abu Ghraib interrogators, GCHQ anoraks, Tavistock Institute beardies and other assorted RAND Corporation dog-wankers develop a suitable psychological neuro-linguistic programme – the ‘sound bite’ SOMA - to brainwash the numpty public into ’hive mind’ zombie mode – which will then act to create a veritable national army of unpaid (great word- ‘unpaid’) volunteers working every hour God sends - for sweet fuck all.

And this will comprise the backbone of Posh Dave’s Big Society - his ‘Volunteers’. Hmmm, anyone know the definition of a ‘volunteer’? Someone who has totally misunderstood the question put to them.

So, we’ll have this horde of happy, smiling volunteer oicks comprised of those recently cast aside by commerce and industry due budget cut-driven redundancies - juxtaposed with the marginalised and unemployable – working hand in hand and doing the jobs we used to have to pay the shiftless council box wallahs all manner of bloated salaries for performing.

Nice one Dave, the first step to mending Broken Britain – and perhaps the first on the path to Moore’s ‘Utopia’ – or the first on the road to perdition when the Big Society pantomime manifests into a social straitjacket – a veritable mind control ball and chain eagerly donned by congenital morons.

While doubtless the sheeple will be receptive to the Nudge-Nudge Unit’s ‘Hive Mind’ NLP tactics, those who still manage to think for themselves and wipe their own arses will simply go into ‘selective hearing mode’ and ignore Posh Dave’s disingenuous rhetoric regarding the ‘why’s and wherefore’s’ used to justify his Big Society strategy and reasons for injecting an unhealthy dose of ‘muscular liberalism’ into the national attitude in an attempt to overhaul the ‘multicultural’ cosmopolitan cesspit that Empire’s Day immigration and EUSSR-licensed worker/economic migration have caused Britain to become.

‘Big Society’ and ‘Muscular Liberalism’ eh. Well, they both have a nice ‘sound bite’ quality about them – catchy on the inner ear – a bit like ‘Kristallnacht’ was in Nazi Germany back in 1938. Funny, even the Jews thought the jingle was catchy too – until a brick came through the window.

So, who’s on Number 10’s Cabinet Office ‘Behavioural Insight Team’? Any kiddie fiddling sex offender’s names that stand out? Any Scaberdeen Scots on the register? Obviously a few Freemasons, cottagers, doggers and pinko alkies who occasionally smoke the odd bifta – all conjuring up psychological tricks to alter our herd behaviour to accept a whole novel index of ‘social norms’.

Hmmm, how did a wet rag clot like Franci Maude, the Tory MP for Horseshit, get on the team? Then we have the shifty Gus O’Donnell, dodgy David Halpern, and the Auschwitz-reject Rosie Donachie (a former stick insect impersonator).
One recent ‘advisor’ to the unit was another ‘gorf’ - Olivier Oullier, who works directly in the private office of the French Hobbit President Nicky Sarkozy, constantly on hand to boost his ego by addressing the mental midget with the Napoleonic moniker of ‘mon Emperor’ – and has so far succeeded in convincing Sarko’ he really is over five foot tall in his lifts – and there’s nothing to be ashamed of by standing on a herring box when talking to other foreign leaders.

Thus the Big Society is meant to manifest as public empowerment – and perhaps do the job of the useless police force once Osbourne’s ‘scorched earth’ budget cuts have decimated the Plod Squad ranks to zilch.
Then we can have a live and visible police presence at places like Sale Park, in the Greater Manchester area, which last weekend hosted an impromptu dogfight – in which one dog, not satisfied with biting his opponent, stabbed him to death – then stabbed the bloke holding its leash. And the GMPF answer to these deaths, using 20/20 hindsight? "Extra officers are on patrol (post-stabbings) to provide reassurance." Hmmm, a pity they weren’t on patrol to prevent the stabbings too. We pay taxes for protection, not fucking asinine and lame excuses.

Perhaps we would be better running the police force ourselves – could we do a worse job? Really, ask yourselves – if chasing down a suspected Paki Muslim terrorist bomber, is it likely you’d end up shooting a Brazilian electrician?
If tasked with monitoring a G20 protest in the City would you get so bored you’d belt an innocent pedestrian passer-by across the back of the legs with a telescopic steel baton then shove him violently to the ground and cause him to die of sustained internal injuries minutes later?

Mayhap take over the Chief of Communications post at the Ministry of Defence and initiate some much-needed improvements to their redundancy notice procedures – such as ‘not’ hotmailing 38 ranking squaddies and 100 RAF trainee pilots to tell them they’re fired – especially so when they’re on active service in Afghanistan.
The least they could have done was apply a spot of common sense and used Moonpig e-cards scribed with a euphemistic “Congratulations, you have been awarded a DCM”. (Don’t Come Monday).

Hopefully the Nudge Unit might consider suggesting this approach to the MoD prior to them e-mailing the further 42,000 hapless fuckers who are to be hit by defence job cuts by 2015 - including 25,000 civilian staff at the MoD, 7,000 in the Army and 5,000 at the Royal Navy and RAF.

Now we have the Big Society, Scameron’s stillborn brainchild, that he and his elitist fraternity, deluded by their absurd sense of entitlement, are compelled to foist upon us at all costs. Is it just their class and social rank – or do the hereditary well-heeled occupy an entirely different mindset – as well as an entirely different economy - than the rest of the country we live in.

Let’s not be fooled into thinking the likes of the Common Purpose or Nudge Unit NLP 'Big Society' mantras are a recent innovation – they’ve been around for Millenniums in various guises to achieve mass population control. From the Vatican’s Inquisition priests of yesteryear, the totalitarian Nazi Gestapo, the secret political police of Stalin and Mao, and Pol Pot – they’re the very essence of the storyline of Huxley’s, Kafka’s and Orwell’s dystopian worlds.
And while Orwell’s 1984 provides insights to what a Dystopian state might manifest as, the book in itself was never meant to be used as an instruction manual – Totalitarianism for Dummies.

Posh Dave’s Big Society - hmmm, anyone ever remember Tony Bliar’s ‘Third Way’?
Unfortunately Scameron’s blue skies’ philosophy is marred by Britain’s prevailing political and economic climate - overcast to miserable - without the likelihood of sunny intervals.

Thought for the day: While both Barky O’Barmy and Posh Dave Scameron have embraced ‘Nudge Theory’ - originated in 235 BC by the Roman Pro-Consul and military tactician Scrotus Hiatus Hernius - the fact the Afghan Taliban, the Iraqis and the Palestinians of Gaza are failing to embrace the same is now being blamed on a lack of ‘muscular liberalism’ – and the fact they’re Muslims.

Imagine the implications for freedom if humanity used its numerical potential to say NO to the system and ceased to cooperate with its own enslavement.

Oh, and by the way, fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.

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Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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