Friday, 25 February 2011

SOLACE Stage Annual Pondscum Gathering

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Slopshire Council's CEO, Kim Ryley, a no-account chinless wonder and Mensa reject, has gained recession-era notoriety as Britain’s highest paid local council chief, coining in an annual bag of £180,000 quid - £37 grand a year more than Posh Dave Scameron gets for running an entire fucking country populated by a bunch of unemployed whingeing oicks dressed in shell suits and hoodies.

But busy little bee Ryley also acts as senior ‘vice’ president of ''The Society For Local Authority Chief Executives'', titled with the acronym SOLACE - although it is commonly argued it should be renamed SCUMBAGS due the legions of corrupt Freemasons, kiddie fiddling pederasts and the type of sexual perverts the Old Testament graphically describes as ‘abominations’ that comprise its membership ranks.

Ryley, a man of limited intellect who, according to slanderous rumours, spent most of his formative years with his head stuck in the family washing basket sniffing his sister’s knickers and jacking off, has this week – along with his SOLACE buddies - copped for a hail of flack for their display of ostentatious waste and abuse of privilege by staging a £240-a-head black-tie champagne and oysters junket in the ballroom of the sumptuously restored Savoy Hotel in London on the 3rd February for 400-plus panjandrums – with the financial services goliath Crapita reportedly footing the pre-meal drinks bill – jointly sponsored by spend management outfit EGS and BDO – no, not the Big Day Out or the British Darts Organisation – but the ‘BDO’ – the world's fifth largest accountancy network, who even have offices on the Moon.

The hedonistic occasion was arranged to facilitate a local authorities ‘networking’ venue with a cabal of bottom feeding exec’s from the commercial sectors ‘bonding’ with council chiefs – alternately described as an opportunity for promoting those grand old council ‘personal enrichment’ pastimes of graft and corruption. Hmmm, tender bids whispered over a secret handshake and offshore bank accounts fattened with thirty pieces of silver.

The self-promoting Ryley, who hosted the Lucullan banquet of gluttony, boasted in his address to the pisspot assemblage that local councils were “the most efficient part of the public sector” – then five days later the clot announced that his Slopshire Council intended to drastically trim its 2011 public services budget by shutting down nine schools and laying off a minimum of 1,300 local authority employees. – not a single one of whom had been invited to the Savoy Hotel piss-up for farewell drinkies.

The gospel according to their own vainglorious website, SOLACE is open to the Chief Executives, Senior Managers, Aspiring Commissars and Graduates of all UK local authorities and public sector related organisations – such as the NLP brainwashing social engineering charity - Common Purpose – and a host of like Kafkaesque and Orwellian organisations all set out to forward the New World Order agenda.

From a distance, or up close and personal, the entire organisation stinks of graft and corruption and the unscrupulous use of official local government positions to derive criminal advantage and profit.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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