How many wheelie bins are stuck outside your kitchen door, blocking the passageway from front garden to back? All the colours of the rainbow, no doubt. One for glass, one for paper, one for plastics, one for cans, one for the children’s Asbo’s and homework assignments; one for dead pets, cat litter and dog shit; one for garden cuttings and expired house plants; one for assorted kitchen waste and doubtless another one for some obscure heap of crap the useless, overpaid council jobsworths forgot to categorise.
All this shite is supposed to go to individual processing plants to be recycled into something useful, such as parking meters, space shuttle components, smart bombs and pacemakers; and WE, the council tax payers, are contributing billions of pounds to fund this carbon footprint / combat global warming fiasco.
However, tonnes of toxic crap collected under our council-run sham recycling schemes is being diverted and dumped in Darkest Africa.
It seems our multi-coloured individual wheelie bins are being emptied en masse at British municipal dumps and landfill sites then, when the toxic poisons have had ample opportunity to leach out and contaminate the water table, the waste materials are being containerised and illegally shipped to Africa in flagrant breach of this country’s obligation to ensure our burgeoning mountains of refuse and junk are disposed of safely.
Hundreds of thousands of discarded e-waste items, which under British law must be dismantled or recycled by specialist contractors, are being packaged into cargo containers and shipped to countries such as Nigeria and Ghana, where they’re stripped of their raw metals by kids working on poisoned waste dumps all day and glowing in the dark all night.
In a joint investigation by The Daily Liar and Greenpieces a faulty fast breeder reactor from the Smegmadale Nuclear Power Station was tracked to an electricity supply company in Lagos, Nigeria, after being sent to Pikey Pete’s authorised scrap recycling plant in the UK.
Sparky O’Dinga, manager of the Lagos Light & Power Company, told reporters the reactor was discovered in a container filled with defunct X-box units and laptops shipped into the country from the UK by Gyppo Recycling (SA) of Kiev.
Mr. O’Dinga further informed the media that the nuclear reactor, once fitted with a new fan belt and had the seized fuel rods sprayed with WD40, worked just fine and was supplying the national grid with a million megawatts oif electricity per day, plus a regular monthly ourput of weapons-grade Plutonium 239 for Nigeria’s atomic bomb project.
But with the average Briton throwing away four pieces of e-waste every month, in the form of outmoded cell phones, electric toothbrushes and worn out jack rabbit personal vibrators, approximately 500,000 tonnes is going unaccounted for annually.
Industry research seen by The Daily Liar estimates that at least 10,000 tonnes of scrap televisions and 23,000 tonnes of crashed computers, classified as hazardous waste, are being illegally exported as part of a wider e-waste black market worth what insiders describe as “lots and lots of fuckin’ money.”
Campaigners say that with Nigerian and Congolese pikeys offering around £3 for a television and £1 for a computer monitor to waste sites they are undercutting specialist recycling companies, creating a very toxic “grey market” when these unscrupulous dealers ship the materials to West Africa where it forms the core of a thriving industry.
Candida Muffitch, spokesperson for the Industry Council for Equipment Recycling (ICER), told The Daily Liar “It‘s clear that the system for collecting and monitoring equipment which UK householders and commercial offices have thrown away is fucked up like a soup sandwich.”
Have you found any Nigerians rooting through your wheelie bins? Do you sell the spent fuel rods from your home’s nuclear reactor to Islamic terrorists? Do you bury dead pets and burglars in your back garden?
Send us your comments and views using the form below so we can pass them on to your local council’s Global Warming Task Force Hit Squad and have you harassed and arrested.
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