Britain’s Debt Crime Kidnap Industry Flourishing

Nobody would have heard the muffled screams as Mustafa’s interrogators set about their victim with the clinical brutality of a celebrity chef.
Tied to a chair and forced to consume plate after plate of cholesterol-laden greasy fast food burgers, fried chicken drumsticks and pizzas, washed down with liters of aspartame-loaded soft drinks, he could only plead for mercy and was ready to admit to anything : even being a Holohoax-denying Gay Al Qaeda terrorist with a liking for kiddie porn.
"They said if I screamed then they'd make me eat more. They shoved a tennis ball up me arse so I couldn’t crap and the stomach pains were unbelievable," Mustafa recalls.

It sounds like the testimony of an extreme rendition prisoner from Iraq’s five-star Abu Ghraib Prison but the reality is that such violent scenes are being enacted undetected in Britain’s backstreet garages and vacant buildings on a daily basis.

Mustafa Crapp (real name Mohammad bin Mohammed) is just one of hundreds of people who are the silent victims of kidnapping each year in the UK by bailiffs and other debt collectors for not keeping up with payments. Mustafa’s crime? He was a month behind with his local Chew and Spew fast food delivery account payments.

You are unlikely to hear about their cases in the news because the vast majority are so-called "embarrassment" kidnappings – debt collectors acting for local authorities, capturing and torturing people who are behind with their utility bills or milk and newspaper delivery payments and don’t want their neighbours to know.

Frank McTwat, a former Big Issue vendor made redundant in the current recession, told the Freemasons Rendition Gazette he was a couple of months overdue with the council tax payments on his garden shed when he was ‘lifted’ off the street after picking up his jobseekers allowance.

“This bunch of heavies grabs me an’ I gets tossed in the back of this van like, then they takes me to this underground torture chamber they rent from St. Sodom’s, the local Catholic church, wot woz used by the old Inquisition years ago.”

“Anyway, they gives me a good kickin’ and tells me I gotta pay me council tax by next week –or else – they’re gonna burn me shed down wiv me an’ the missus an’ the kids in it. Then they puts me on the rack an’ gives me a right good stretchin’, which ‘urt like fuck but I’m three inches taller after it so I can apply fer a job in the police force now. A blessin’ in disguise really, wozn’t it, eh.”

But not all the victims are innocent members of the community caught up in a rolling wave of debt due the deepening recession.

Mrs. Edna Skagrat, a 92-year-old Smegmadale grandmother, had siphoned fifty pounds from her drug suppliers’ money to pay off her Argos card and even though she was prepared to settle the debt by working the city’s streets as a five quid 'three-holer' whore the gang’s enforcers mercilessly cut her Zimmer frame in half with a hacksaw to send out a message to other potential cheats and defaulters.

But it’s not just disputes over money and respect which are being solved through ‘lifting’ or ‘jacking’.
One Albanian pikey gang leader told a reporter from the Ransom Weekly News he had been hired by Asian families in his cosmopolitan community to kidnap victims in the UK over family feuds and disputes originating in the sub-continent.

Mr. Crumpledforeskin- not his real name – who freely admits to convictions ranging from duck strangling to genocide, said people within his Paki-Indian community used to hire him to track down runaway child brides and that branching out to kidnapping and knee-capping was just "Diversifying me effin’ skills, wozn’t I, cos yer gotta do dat wiv dis recession thingie goin’ on, dontcha eh. Versatility’s der fuckin’ word, ain’t it.”

The police are aware of hundreds of cases of kidnap each year, but they believe there are probably many more cases they never learn about as the victims are mainly scallies themselves.

Candida Fuctifino, the former head of the Metropolitan Police's kidnap unit and a leading hostage negotiator, says that although those related to the victims are often reluctant to report such kidnappings, when the police do get involved they usually manage to get the hostage back: either alive and whole or in a variety of assorted doggy bite-sized pieces.

Have any of your family been kidnapped and tortured for not paying their council tax? Would you like to see one of your nasty neighbours ‘lifted’ and given a royal kicking just for fun? Does anyone owe you a few quid you’d like to have repaid?
Complete one of our online service request forms below and we’ll have the heavies on the job before you can say “Bob owes me a pony.”