Monday, 2 February 2009

Iceland Now Ruled by Muff-Muncher

Sapphie Dildodo, named as Iceland's new prime minister on Sunday, is the first openly lesbian head of government in Europe, if not the world - at least in modern times.

The 66-year-old dashing dyke’s appointment as an interim leader, until elections in May, is seen by many as a milestone for sexual deviants everywhere.
To date, if shirt lifters or rug-munchers have become prime minister, they’ve done their best to keep the fact well and truly closeted.
The UK’s been governed by clandestine public school faggots and bumboys for centuries and today’s Parliament and civil service are still ridden with troops of gay Gordons.

As Tory PM Harold Macmillan once defiantly told Downing Street reporters who made sordid references to members of his infamous brown-hatter cabinet in the midst of the Profumo scandal, “If I, or any or my ministers, take it up the arse, that’s our business.”

But what is really historic about Iceland’s new government, says Slutsy Twattdottir, the ‘sensible shoes’ secretary of Ms. Dildodo's Social Frottage Alliance, is not the fact that its leader is a butch bitch, but that for the first time in Icelandic history it boasts a cabinet composed entirely of clam-licking lesbians.

"I don't think her sexual orientation matters. Our voters are pretty liberal and don't care about any of that. They all had a really good laugh last week when she walked into the Althing Assembly wearing a strapon harness and declared she was going to butt-fuck the brains out of our incompetent ex-Prime Minister, Cunter Nogsonn, for screwing up the entire economy,” Ms. Twatdottir told BBC News.

However, in most of western Europe the coming-out of a politician will still make headlines in the gutter press.
Only last week Roger Hemhorroid became the first French government minister to disclose his homosexuality, even though the entire National Assembly has been considered by some to be very iffy and chock full of sphincter-stretching poofs since the reign of Napoleon.
Whereas when New Labour assumed office in 1997 the cabinet was staffed by a mix of shameless and posturing self-proclaimed sodomites and outed bisexual fudgers who blatantly broadcast their scatological peccadillos.

Tory leader Margaret Thatcher (aka Atilla the Hen) was often touted as a closet butch bisexual who lived out her dominatrix fantasies by screwing the unions and coal miners.
Husband Denis once revealed to Daily Smellygraph editor and friend Bill Deeds that Maggie wore the pants and they hadn’t had sex since twins Carol and Mark were born. One look at her chinless wonder of a dipshit son and her thighs went into chastity lock mode as far as Denis’s amorous advances were concerned.
“She was a rotten shag anyways and I always preferred having a wank in the bath,” Denis confided. “I heard it rumoured she used to give John Major one up the back passage with her six inch clitoris if he wasn’t shaping up.”

While Destiny’s smile has descended on Iceland’s Ms. Dildodo, it’s only a quirk of political fate and timing that denied the dubious honour of First Place from going to closet lesbian US Presidential wannabe Hillary Rodent Clinton who was beaten to the Democratic nomination post by closet faggot black Muslim Kenyan-American candidate Bar-rat O’Barmy.
Even Hillary’s worthless klutz of a husband, Bill the Artful Dodger, admits she’s a raving bean-flicker.

So Iceland’s new PM is a self-outed lesbo, publicly parades her female civil partner and marks a historical first. Hooray !

Hopefully she doesn’t follow in the footsteps of Queen Nefertiti, the Egyptian 18th Dynasty monarch who dominated her impotent faggot husband Akhenaten and became a misandrist emasculator of males who earned her ire.
Famous for a harem of exotic beauties and lesbian orgies, her collection of dried scrotums and pickled cocks still holds a pride of place in the Cairo Museum’s display of Pharaonic erotica.

1 comment:

Frankie The Faggot said...

Brilliant, freekin brilliant!!!