Sunday, 22 February 2009

Google Earth Flips Up Atlantis Goolie

Google Earth stands as the proverbial dog’s bollocks when it comes to public access of high altitude terrestrial mapping, where the local council can zero in on suspect neighbourhoods to see who’s not towing the Big Brother totalitarian line by neglecting to stow their wheelie bin away five minutes after its been emptied.
They then send round a gang of their Neighbourhood Watch thugs or Community Support bullies to issue one of their new Kafkaesque Insta-Fines against some hapless, poverty-stricken pensioner crippled with arthritis and glaucoma.

A recent discovery by Google users, studying bathymetric (sea floor terrain) data, of what seemed to be a grid of streets and the outlines of a huge human habitation on the sea floor 600 miles off the African coast sparked hysteric proclamations that the fabled lost city of Atlantis had been found.

However, Google were quick to piss on this New Age publicity bonfire by pointing out the lines represented research data collected from boats using sonar to take measurements of the sea floor and was not the city of Atlantis or the sunken island of Mu, or a Grey alien / Draco Reptilian submarine UFO base.

The story of Atlantis, a fabled utopia destroyed in ancient times, has captured the imagination of scholars and Hollywood ever since the story was first made up by the Irish-Greek philosopher Plato more than 2,500 years ago.

He wrote of a land of fabulous wealth, advanced civilisation and natural beauty, where council taxes and CCTV cameras were unheard of, which is pretty hard to visualise in this age of false flag terrorist attacks, illegal wars, moral decay, economic recession and environmental catastrophes.

Fierce debate still rages over where the ruins of Atlantis might actually lie: if it ever existed at all.
Under the ice of Antarctica or beneath the vast depths of the Atlantic or Pacific Oceans being the favoured contenders. The Indian Ocean, the Mediterranean, the Baltic and Morecambe Bay also hold forth in the list of runners up.

However, the most common belief is that Plato was either pissed or on drugs when he wrote his account of Atlantis, or was purposely laying down the foundations of a spoof that would keep gullible treasure hunters and pseudo-scholars busy for generations to come.

A spokeswoman for Google Earth, Ms. Felicity Twatrot, told the cartography correspondent of the Lobster Strangler’s Gazette: "While this purported Atlantis discovery has turned out to be a damp squib, it is nevertheless true that many amazing discoveries have been made in Google Earth.”
“The most recent is of a hidden pristine forest in Mozambique that’s home to previously unknown unique species : a small tribe of Africans who aren’t starving, don’t have AIDS, and have never heard of Barack O’Barmy.”

Google Earth besides, if it wasn’t for Plato and his account of Atlantis, whether fictional or factual, we could not today have watched all five series of Stargate Atlantis, airing a total of 100 episodes to date. Thus there’s something to be said for pissy-arsed Greek philosophers and their influence on Hollywood script writers after all.

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