Friday, 6 February 2009

Teakozy Attacks Brownie’s VAT Cut

France’s posturing poison dwarf President, Nicolas Teakozy, has lambasted Prime Minister Gordon Brown's economic stimulus plan.

In a debate on the French TV political programme Merde, Mr. Teakozy, who’s mishandling of France's economy has prompted violent protests and assassination threats, said the UK's VAT cut had "absolutely not worked".

"Britain is cutting taxes! That will bring them nothing! Consumption continues to decrease! They must drop the pound and take up the Euro right now!" he proclaimed in a hysteria-ridden diatribe.

Downing Street spokeswoman Candida Twatitch told the media that “President Teakozy’s spiteful critique of Labour’s fiscal policy is a result of his resentment that our Dear Leader’s a lot taller than he is.”
“In fact”, she further ventured “Most of Europe’s population are taller than Mr. Teakozy : schoolchildren included.”

But the Conservatives said Mini-Me look-alike President Teakozy was just the latest short-arsed foreign leader to criticise Gordon Brown's policies.

Conservative ‘nine o’clock shadow’ chancellor George Osborne told the press "We knew at the time that Brown's flagship VAT cut would be an expensive failure. That view is now echoed not just by Big Issue vendors and street people but by foreign governments too, including Mongolia, Somalia, North Korea and Iceland.”
"While Gordon claims to have saved the world it would appear that global leaders increasingly disagree."

President Teakozy, a former Punch and Judy puppet, made his cutting remarks during a 90 minute interview in which he defended his plans to revive the French economy by selling the entire country to Germany, who have had grand designs on ownership since 1914.

Million of French workers downed tools this week to protest against the diminutive size of their current President, and urged the government to elect one who wasn’t so vertically-challenged.

Jean-Claude Se Branler, leader of the “Va te Faire Enculer” Union, told the press “Before it was okay, when we had Charles de Gaulle in charge. He was very tall and France was happy and a world power, setting off nuclear bombs in the Pacific. Now we have this little Zionist apologist midget shit Teakozy as a leader and everything goes wrong for us.”

BBC political correspondent Carole Wanker said there appeared to be some irritation at Downing Street about the comments and their Teakozy voodoo doll was chock full of nasty fresh sharps.
She added it was rumoured, in the run-up to the G20 summit, that President Teakozy was practicing walking on a pair of custom-made stilts so other leaders would stop looking down on him and patting his pointy little head.

While both the Conservatives and Liberal Democrats have criticised and back-stabbed the inept Brown for his VAT cut, neither party has come up with any better ideas, while Gordon’s action has actually saved an average unemployed family of four about twenty pence a month.

So, how do we, the People, solve the problem?

Economic boost :

Kick the Zionist usurers out of the Bank of England and put its rightful ownership back in hands of the voting / taxpaying public for the first time since 1694.

Nationalise central banks world-wide.

Our National publicly-owned treasury prints its own money.

An end to fractional reserve banking.

Restructure and expand industry and agriculture to self-sustaining levels.

An end to Neo-Imperialism.

Fuck America : an end to meddling in other people's Neo-Colonial foreign wars and supporting the propaganda-fuelled false war on terror.

Pull out of the European Union. Fuck Peter Mandelson – Protectionism works.

Ole! Problems solved? Not quite, but a few good first steps on the road to recovery.

Allergy warning: This article may contain traces of squirrel as it was written in a nut-infested environment.

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