Sunday, 22 February 2009

UK Scientists Condemn GM Food Trials

The biotech’ giant and mega-rich corporate bully Monsanto, renown globally for their highly unethical and shifty business practices, waving litigating lawyers around like a baseball bat, and stifling media publicity of their negative product test results and other numerous screw-ups, have now earned the legend that “every crop they sow produces a harvest of FEAR”.

British youngsters aged 6-10 were fed a crap crop of so-called Mutant Mickey’s Golden Rice breakfast cereal, a genetically-modified grain developed by Monsanto and Syngenta and other Frankenstein GM foods companies which has been modified to contain enhanced levels of beta carotene (the shit that makes carrots orange).

UK scientists have condemned using British children in the GM food trials as unacceptable.
Dr. Sheldon Scrunt of the Smegmadale-based Hit-n-Miss GM Foods Testing Centre told the Nutrition correspondent from the Knuckle-Draggers Weekly News “Why can’t they test this shit on kids in Africa or some other screwed-up part of the Third World like they usually do, where no-one really gives a fuck about child mortality.”

Lawyers from Ambulance_Chasers-R-Us claim children were used as ‘lab rats’ in GM rice trials that were carried out in breach of ethics rules drawn up in response to the medical experiment crimes of the Nazi Germany concentration camps era.
Critics of the GM experiments say the Nuremburg Code states that children under 10 are not considered legally capable of giving consent to participation in such experiments.

They further state the code also requires that human guinea pigs should not be used if scientists don’t want to test the food by eating it themselves.

The Golden Rice breakfast cereal is being developed to combat Vitamin A deficiency, which is linked to damage to the sight, poor brain development and immune system failure.
However high consumption of the ceareal can cause birth defects in teenage mothers and also have harmful toxic effects causing damage to eyesight, poor brain development and immune system failure.

Project Gruppenfuhrer at the Golden Rice Organisation, Dr Adrian Mengele, a former greeter at Auschwitz Concentration Camp, denied that the Nuremburg Code has been breached. He said the feeding trials had been approved by scientists from the Burger King and KFC Chew n Spew bush tucker test centres.

‘Parents of poor families will see their children rewarded with scholarships to St. Sodom’s College of Latter Day Pederasts as a thank you for participating,’ Dr Mengele informed the media, adding that “Animal experiments would not have helped. As humans are the designed beneficiaries of our Golden Rice Mutant Flakes animal testing could not answer the questions posed”

But with GM food companies having such scandalous past records for safety, many are questioning the veracity of Dr. Mengele’s self-serving statements.

Various media sources, including the Shit-Stirrers Weekly Review, published a none too wholesome list of Monsanto’s past scandals and attempted cover-ups.

From 1935 to 1972, Monsanto manufactured polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs) at its Anniston plant in Alabama, resulting in fucking up the local population for generations still to come and then denying responsibility.

The manifestation of the bovine growth hormone rBGH in milk caused a majority of consumers to sprout horns, with children mooing in school, eating grass for lunch, developing Mad Cow Disease and hallucinating that they were chickens.

One previous GM grains rat feeding study found "significant" undesirable effects to the rats fed on the GM maize MON863 when their fur fell off, followed by an unwholesome stiffening of the entire body which researchers eventually learned was caused by death.

Have any of your children eaten Mutant Mickey’s Muesli breakfast cereal? Do your children vomit after drinking Monsanto’s mutant malt shakes? Have any of your children grown an extra limb or become more brain damaged than usual?

Fill out our online fact-finding form below and you might be able to sue a GM Foods company near you for millions in compensation.

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