Nuttiyahoo To Form Israeli Cabinet

Binman Nuttiyahoo, a former cabinet maker, now the leader of the fascist Lick-it party, has been asked to form Israel's next government.
Nuttiyahoo said he would try to open talks on forming a unified coalition government with his political rivals.

But Titsup Livid, the split-arsed leader of the centrist Kadima party, has suggested she would rather suck an uncircumcised goyim cock than join a government led by Mr Nuttiyahoo.

The Lick-it party leader has the support of religious and right-wing parties in the Knesset, all of whom want to kick-start World War Three as soon as possible to ensure the destruction of Jerusalem and the subsequent rebuilding of Solomon’s Temple; to herald the Second Coming of their Messiah.
It is hoped they won’t crucify the next one as they did with the last, some 2000 years ago.

President Slimy Peres and Mr Nuttiyahoo held a news conference to officially announce the move and the Lick-it leader now has six weeks to put together a coalition, out of the twelve squabbling opposition parties occupying the 120 seats in the Israeli parliament.

Nuttiyahoo told media reporters: "I call on Kadima chairwoman Titsup Livid and Labour Party chairman Falsehud Barat and I say to them - let's unite to secure the future of the State of Israel by destroying the nasty Palestinians, then Hezbollah, and then Iran, and expand Israel’s promised Biblical national boundaries from the Nile to the Euphrates.”

The BBC's Zionist arse-kissing correspondent, Seymour Shnozzer, says the decision to choose Mr Nuttiyahoo marks the start of the beating of the Israeli war drums.

He says Mr Nuttiyahoo, a certified psychopath, will have a real job on his hands to persuade Titsup Livid to join his government as her Kadima party hold 28 Knesset seats compared to his Lick-it party’s 27, and she considers herself in line to head a government.

Ms. Livid told reporters “I will not be a pawn in a government that would be against our ideals," she said. “Nuttiyahoo wants to exterminate the Palestinians while we want to see them form their own nation state: preferably in Saudi Arabia or Africa, and not here in Palestine…whoops…I mean Israel or Canaan, whatever.”

Nuttiyahoo says he does not want Israel to rule the Palestinians, but says they should not be allowed things he considers a threat to Israeli security, such as an army, or control of airspace or a border with Jordan or a national boundary on the Mediterranean.

Mr Nuttiyahoo's position was bolstered on Thursday when the far-right Yisrael Big Noses party, which favours tightening the Israeli blockade on Gaza to garrotting pressure, said it wanted him to be chief executioner and initiate a thorough ethnic cleansing of the Palestinian-occupied West Bank and Gaza Strip up to genocide level.
Ensuring the eradication of Hamas and their Gaza Gangsters, with a follow-up of pre-emptive military air strikes against Iran, and anything there that remotely resembles a nuclear power station, would also be deemed politically expedient.

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